


Exhale

by Bellarkesdramione



Series: Take a breath, then another. [2]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin Reunion, Broken Clarke, Clarke still loves Bellamy, Endgame Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Explicit Sexual Content, Modern Setting Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Multi, Protective Bellamy Blake, Slow Burn Ish, Smut, Wells and Bellamy brotp, bellamy still loves clarke, mentions of abuse, sequel to inhale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2021-01-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 20:15:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 41
Words: 56,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26374819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bellarkesdramione/pseuds/Bellarkesdramione
Summary: Currently undergoing editing, so if you get notified of chapters, it is because of that.BOOK TWO(Please read Inhale first)Clarke Griffin's entire life is in shambles. Now under the thumb of a dangerous man, without the love of her life Bellamy Blake, what will she do to survive? Will she make it?Will she win back the person that means the most to her? Or will it be too late?
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake & Wells Jaha, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Clarke Griffin & Marcus Kane, Clarke Griffin & Wells Jaha, Eric Jackson/Nathan Miller, John Murphy/Raven Reyes, Minor Bellamy Blake/Echo - Relationship, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin, Octavia Blake/Lincoln
Series: Take a breath, then another. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1759753
Comments: 59
Kudos: 102





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the second book in this series! I hope that you all enjoy this one as well!  
> Here are some important trigger warnings that I want to include before the story begins. 
> 
> TW// Abuse, depression, attempted suicide, mentions of suicide, sexual assault, rape

۵༄❆

_**4 years later...** _

_ Standing on the edge of the lake, Clarke looks out at everything around her. She never realized just how beautiful Arkadia was. She hopes that more people will realize its beauty.  _

_ She thinks back to everything she's ever experienced here. Meeting the best friends she would ever have, spending hours upon hours drawing and swimming in this lake. Meeting the love of her life... losing the love of her life.  _

_ Clarke has lost everything and everyone she's ever loved. What's the point in staying alive in a world where no one loves you? Clarke picks up the gun, and kneels on the floor; breathing in the scent of the lake one last time, before putting the gun to her head, and closing her eyes... _

* * *

_**4 years ago....** _

While Clarke drives back to her house, she feels numb inside. She feels like she cried all the tears she could, and she just feels broken. 

He was going to give her a promise ring... a promise ring, that would be a symbol of their love and commitment to each other. Clarke shakes her head. She needs to end whatever this is with Jaha now. She wants her life back, her future. 

She pulls into the driveway of her house and parks. She hasn't been here in a while. She doesn't know what to expect now. 

She walks inside and sees her mother on the couch, pills surrounding her on the table. 

"Get the fuck out!" Abby yells. 

Clarke flinches. "I— I have no where else to go.." 

"Oh. Bellamy finally came to his senses and left you right? Good. You don't deserve to have any love after what you've done." Abby says. 

"What I've done? What are you talking about? I haven't done anything!" Clarke yells. 

Abby stands up and gets in Clarke's face. 

"Because of you, Marcus is in a coma! They don't know if he's ever going to wake up. All because you can't keep your fucking nose out of other people's business!" 

"No! I was trying to get justice for dad! I was trying to help!" Clarke yells back. 

Abby slaps Clarke across the face. 

"Trying to help?? Marcus is in a coma because of you!! Because you wouldn't just do what you were told! Your father is dead because of you, I'm on drugs because of you! Everything that went wrong in life is because of you! Bellamy is better off without you, you'd wind up ruining his life too." Abby screams. 

"I had nothing to do with dad dying that was Jaha! I was trying to get justice! Isn't that what you want??" Clarke cries out.

"The only reason your father was working with Jaha to begin with is because we didn't have enough money to support you! The hospital was cutting back I was broke! If you weren't there we would have been fine! But I fucking had you, and you ruined everything. You were the biggest mistake I've ever made. And because of you, your father is dead, and now Marcus might be too because you decided to play hero." 

Clarke just stands there stunned. She doesn't do anything when Abby pushes her against the wall. Doesn't do anything when she hits her face. Doesn't do anything when she tells Clarke she wishes she was never born. She just stands there and lets it happen. Feeling like she doesn't have much to fight for anymore. 

Once Abby has gotten too tired to keep going, she pulls back and goes to her room, slamming the door behind her. 

Clarke slides down the wall and sobs. The only person she wants right now is Bellamy, and she can't have him. She sobs and cries, breath shaky and shallow as she tries to calm herself down. She tries to do what Bellamy told her to do, but she can't. Without him, she feels empty. She wonders what he's doing right now... if he's safe. She was going to fight to end this so she could hurry and get back to him. 

She calls the only person that she can call right now. 

"Wells I need your help." 

"Clarke?? I'm on my way." 

* * *

Bellamy lays there in bed, suddenly feeling very sober. He looks over at the woman laying next to him... the woman that isn't Clarke. His heart drops. 

Memories from what happened flash through his mind. 

"I'm in love with Wells!" Kept playing on repeat. Never leaving his mind no matter how hard he tried to just forget it. 

Echo shifts slightly in her sleep next to him, and when he sees all of the marks he left on her body, he starts to feel sick. He gets up trying not to wake her, and gets dressed. 

He can't help but feel disgusted with himself. Yes Clarke shattered his heart, but he was still in love with her. He still wanted her more than anything, and yet here he was in someone else's bed, not even hours after they broke up. 

He suddenly thinks to himself 'she's probably in Wells' bed right now too'. 

His heart tightens in his chest and he scribbled a little note for echo letting her know that he went home. 

In a way he is angry at Echo. He came to her door clearly drunk, and she still slept with him. But it's not like he didn't consent. Even now as he's sober he knows that he didn't say no.

Before he can walk to his front door he turns around and throws up in the bushes. He feels terrible. Any touch from someone who wasn't Clarke felt wrong. 

"Bellamy where have you been??" Octavia yells when she sees her brother. 

Bellamy looks up at her and she sees his face. 

"What happened?" She asks. 

Bellamy can't keep himself stoic anymore. He starts to sob, and he falls to the ground. Octavia runs up behind him and wraps him up in a hug. 

"She— she left me. She's gone I lost her." He cries. 

"Bell what are you talking about?" Octavia asks. 

"Clarke— she broke up with me. Said she was in love with Wells. Everyone fucking leaves me." He sobs out as his body shakes. 

Octavia sits there stunned. 

"This doesn't make any sense Bellamy. Clarke told me she wanted to marry you earlier. She was just talking to me about how it's gonna be hard not to go to the same school as you. She told me she though of Wells like a brother. This makes no sense." 

Bellamy stills and tenses in her arms. 

"Do you think she's lying?" He asks. 

"I think there's something much bigger going on here. She loves you Bellamy. What did she look like when she broke up with you?" 

Bellamy tried to think back to that moment no matter how much it killed him. He sees Clarke, eyes red and puffy, her body shaking as she breaks his heart. She looked like she was heartbroken herself... 

Bellamy shakes his head. 

"No. Stop trying to give me fucking hope. She was upset because she was hurting me. But you didn't hear what she said O. She looked me in the eyes and told me she wasn't in love with me. She meant it." He says sadly. 

Octavia shakes her head. She doesn't believe any of this for a second. She looks at her brother and her eyes widen at the sight of hickeys lining his neck. 

"Bell.. what are these?" She asks. 

Bellamy wipes his tears away, his face turning cold. 

"If she's going to go be with someone else, then I am too. I went to Echo's." He says. 

"You fucking what??!! Are you fucking kidding me?" 

"What does it matter?? SHE FUCKING BROKE UP WITH ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE! I have every right to let someone else fucking touch me and make me feel wanted." 

"Bellamy you're in love with Clarke! Why aren't you fighting for her? I'm telling you there's something more going on here—" 

"Love doesn't fucking exist Octavia. It's bullshit. Everyone who 'loves' me leaves. It's all fucking fake. But you know what's real? Sex is real. So I'm going to do whatever the hell I want because Clarke sure is. I'm done with fucking bullshit romance because it's a lie. Sooner you realize that the better." He says as he storms off into the house. 

Octavia sits there stunned. She doesn't even recognize him anymore.

۵༄❆

  
  



	2. Chapter Two

۵༄❆

_**Once Clarke got off**_ the phone with Wells, she started to try and calm down. He said he wasn't able to get out of his house for another 30 minutes. So she was stuck here by herself until he could finally get away.

Before she even got the chance, her mother walked into Clarke's room.

Abby looked worse than she did earlier. She was completely strung out, her eyes puffy and hair in knots.

"Get up, and pack your things" Abby demanded.

Clarke looked at her mother. "What?"

"I said get up and pack your shit." She said more heat behind the words.

"Why? What's going on?" Clarke asked.

"This is all your fault Clarke. You couldn't have just let it go. You had to keep it up..." Abby said pacing.

"What are you talking about?? Just use your fucking words and tell me!" Clarke yelled.

"We're leaving Clarke! We're going to California."

"What?? No. No we aren't!" Clarke says.

"We are! And you want to know why?? Because of you. Because you couldn't keep your nose out of everyone's business. If we don't go back to California and get the resources at the hospitals there, Marcus will die. That's on you. Secondly, we don't have a fucking choice. Jaha needs us to go back."

"Since when do you do what Jaha says??" Clarke asks.

"Since I started taking the drugs Clarke! I need them, and this is how I get it."

Clarke looked at her mother in shock.

"Oh don't look so surprised. As if you haven't known about this for months now. Did you care though? Did you try to help your precious mommy get better? No. You didn't. Because you don't care about anyone but yourself!" Abby spits out.

"That's not true... I do care about you mom. Even if you don't care about me." Clarke says with her head down.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Just get your shit together. Jaha will be here in 5 minutes. Take whatever you can and let's go."

"Jaha is coming with us??" Clarke asks panicked.

"Didn't I say to hurry the fuck up? He will explain everything when he gets here. Thanks to you." Abby says, and she exits the room.

Clarke feels broken beyond repair. How has her life become so ruined? She runs across her room, packing away everything that reminds her of Bellamy. Reminds her of her friends. Her life here.

She dumps all the pictures she has with Bellamy into a box, and then puts the box in her suitcase. Next she takes all of the stuffed animals and little knick knacks he's ever gotten her; and puts that into the suitcase next.

When Clarke opens her closet she sees Bellamy's old football jersey hanging up in there. She pulls it off the hanger and brings it up to her face, breathing it in. She remembers when he gave this to her at the end of the season...

* * *

_"Bellamy close your eyes!" Clarke calls out to him from the bathroom._

_Bellamy rolls his eyes, "you got a surprise for me or something princess?" He asks._

_"Mhmmm, you're definitely gonna like it! Now do it, close your damn eyes!!" Clarke demands._

_"Okay okay! They're closed!" He calls out._

_Clarke takes one final look at herself in the mirror. She's wearing his football jersey. He had the final game of the season this week, and she wanted to give him a little good luck incentive. She knew Bellamy loved it when she wore his clothes, so she figured he'd_ _DEFINITELY love this. To put the finishing touches on this look, Clarke put her hair in a quick pony tail, and drew two black streaks across her face._

_"Okay! I'm coming out!" Clarke says._

_She steps out of the bathroom and into Bellamy's room, and sees him sitting on his bed with his eyes closed. He had the worlds biggest, most giddy smirk on his face._

_He always got excited when it came to Clarke. All she had to do was be near him, and he became like a kid in a candy store._

_Clarke leaned against the door slightly and told him to open his eyes. When he did, it was like all the wind was knocked out of him. Clarke was standing there in nothing but his football jersey, looking fucking perfect. His eyes raked over her body, and he licked his lips._

_"Like what you see?" Clarke asked flirtatiously._

_"Oh princess... I love what I see. You look so good in my jersey babygirl" he says huskily._

_"Mmmm I'm glad you think so." Clarke says as she saunters over to him._

_"But I think, you'd look even better without it." Bellamy smirked as he played with the hem of it._

_"Then take it off." Clarke shoots back._

* * *

And he did. They spent hours that night touching and kissing and just being completely wrapped up in each other. When it was over he looked at her and told her that he wanted her to keep the jersey, cause it looked much better on her than it did on him, and that she would have him with her wherever she went. 

Clarke squeezed the jersey tighter, crying into it. She took the rest of the clothes that he gave her and put it in the bag. She didn't care about anything else she had, only Bellamy.

Not only was she forced to break up with him, now she had to leave him too. She couldn't leave without saying goodbye.

"That's exactly what you're going to do." Jaha says at the door.

She must have said that out loud...

"What?" Clarke asks broken.

"Well, not exactly. I've been doing a lot of recon on your friends Clarke. I haven't just been watching you. I know all about your little breakup with Bellamy Blake. If you think that is gonna stop him from coming after you, you're mistaken. Especially because that sister of his, is the most stubborn person I've ever seen. My bet is she already suspects something is wrong. You breaking up with that boy put a knot in my plans Clarke. Ever the hero..."

"You leave them the fuck alone! You have me, you own my family! You don't need them!" Clarke yelled.

"Trust me clarke I don't want them near any of this. They're a risk. Which is why you're going to sit down, and write a note. You're going to tell them that you're leaving Arkadia with Wells, and never coming back. Tell them not to contact you. Not to even think about trying to find you." Jaha demands.

"And if I don't?" Clarke asks, feeling brave.

"Then I will kill Bellamy Blake and force you to watch." He said coldly.

Clarke inhaled sharply. She had no choice. She had to do what he said. She couldn't risk anything happening to Bellamy.

"Wells will never go along with this! He will tell Bellamy the truth If he asks, you know your son!" Clarke pleads.

"My son has been made actively aware of the consequences that will come if he disobeyed me." Jaha says.

"You'd threaten your own son?" Clarke asks shocked.

"I told you Miss. Griffin. I will do whatever it takes to protect my business. Even if I have to risk my son in the process."

"You're a despicable excuse of a man." Clarke says as she spits in his face.

Jaha calmly wipes the spit off his face, and then with the back of his hand, hits Clarke across the face, causing her to stumble.

"Hurry up; and pack your things. You have a note to write."

۵༄❆


	3. Chapter Three

۵༄❆

_**Clarke sat at her desk**_ in her room, a piece of blank paper looking back at her. Tears are falling down her face. She has to write a note, telling the people she loves most in the world, that she's abandoning them. Just up and leaving without any explanation. 

Clarke's heart feels heavy, like the weight of the world is crushing her. 

Picking up the pen; she starts writing the note with a shaky hand. 

* * *

_ Hey everyone,  _

_ I'm so sorry that I didn't leave myself  _ _ enough time to say a proper goodbye, but this is the best I could do on such short notice. I'm sure you already are aware that me and Bellamy broke up. I am truly sorry, and I hate that I hurt him, and all of you in the process.  _

_ I'm at a time in my life now where I'm ready to go home, go back to my old life. I appreciate the memories I've made here; and I'll always consider you guys my friends. Family.  _

_ I'm going back to California with Wells, and my family. Mine and Wells' relationship has been a long time coming; and I love him.  _

_ Please don't follow me; just know that I am happy, and I finally know what my purpose in love is. I'll miss you all.  _

_ Love, Clarke. _

* * *

She quickly puts the letter in an envelope and seals it. She closes her eyes and lets out a sob. Everything she wrote was bullshit. A lie. 

"Clarke!" Wells says when he runs into her room. 

Clarke looks at him and sees he looks just as bad as she does. Bruises on his face, his lip bloody. 

"Oh god Clarke... I'm so sorry. I tried so hard to stop him. But... it didn't work. Obviously." He says gesturing to his face. 

"It's not your fault Wells. I should have just given him the stupid letters when I had the chance. All of this is happening because of me. God Wells I'm such an idiot." Clarke cries. 

Rushing to her side, Wells picks up her head so she was looking at him. 

"Listen to me Clarke. You are NOT an idiot. This isn't your fault. This is my father. He ruined your life and now he's trying to control what's left of it. We are gonna find a way out of this Clarke. We're gonna make it through this. You deserve to be happy, and I'm not gonna rest until you are." He says rocking her in his arms. 

"I broke him Wells. You should have seen him... I hurt him. I promised myself I'd never hurt him and I did. I had to— I had to tell him I didn't love him, that I was in love with you. He will never forgive me." Clarke says sadly. 

"Clarke I don't believe that for a second. Bellamy loves you more than anything. He looks at you like you're the entire universe. That guy will forgive anything Clarke. He will understand why you're doing this. You just have to tell him." Wells pleads. 

"I can't! I can't tell him. If I do he will be in more danger than he already is. When he reads that letter he's going to hate me even more Wells." Clarke says looking at her desk. 

Wells ponders something for a moment. Then looking at Clarke determined. 

"So write him another one. One just for him." Wells says. 

Clarke looks at him confused. 

"What?" 

"Write Bellamy another letter. Just like your father wrote letters just for you. Write one for him. You don't have to tell him why you're doing this. Just tell him that you love him, and that you're doing this to protect him. That you'll never stop fighting for him. To get back to him." 

"Wells.. I can't—" 

"Yes you can, and you're going to. Bellamy is the love of your life Clarke. You need to make sure he knows you're going to fight for him." Wells says standing up grabbing more paper for her. 

"How am I going to get it to him?" She asks. 

"You're gonna bring it to his house."

"What?! That's impossible Wells. There's no way I'm gonna be able to get out of this house." Clarke says. 

"Don't worry about all of that. I'll handle the distraction. You need to write to Bellamy. Now Clarke!" Wells cries out. 

"Okay! Okay. What if— what if he wants nothing to do with me after?" Clarke asks sadly. 

"That won't happen Clarke. He loves you.  Simple." 

Clarke nods; and sits back on her desk to write the letter to Bellamy. 

* * *

  
  


_ Bellamy,  _

_ First let me start out by saying that I never meant to hurt you. _

_ God that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Loving you, is something that would never just end. I love you more and more each day. There is no way that I could ever stop.  _

_ You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Meeting you was the one thing that made me realize that living here wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be. I was an eleven year old girl, that felt like the entire world was against her; and hey, maybe it is, but the world did me one favor, and that favor was you.  _

_ Even though you were kind of a jerk, you had the biggest heart. Everything you did, you did to protect your sister. Other people might not have seen that, but I always did. I always will. I never wanted to break your heart, but I knew if I didn't you would follow me. You wouldn't let me protect you.  _

_ I know none of this is going to make any sense to you. I don't expect it to. But everything I'm doing is to keep you safe. I can't lose you too. You're too important to me. You're the love of my life Bellamy Blake. No one has ever, nor will anyone ever compare to you. I'm going to try my best to make my way back to you. I won't stop until I can finally be in your arms again. But I need you to be safe. So I'm leaving. I need you to promise me you won't follow me.  _

_ I know that there is no possible way that you can contact me after you read this, but I still need to believe that you made this promise to me. Don't come for me... just know that I'm fighting every day to find my way back to you, my love.  _

_ I'll love you for eons, Bellamy Blake.  _

_ Yours forever,  _

_ Clarke.  _

* * *

Once Clarke finished writing, she wipes the tears off her face, and opens the door. 

"I'm ready." She tells Wells. 

He nods, "you're gonna have to go through the window. There's a little bit of a drop, but if you angle it right you won't hurt yourself."

"Okay. Thank you for doing this wells. I know it's dangerous." 

"Clarke, you're my best friend. I'd do anything for you. You need to give this to Bellamy." 

Clarke hugs Wells, and then makes her way to the window. 

"Clarke! Be careful." 

"I will." She says smiling softly at him.

۵༄❆


	4. Chapter Four

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy slams the door**_ to his bedroom and makes his way towards his bed. Sure, he knows that he's acting a little childish, but right now he can't bring himself to care. He's never felt this kind of pain before. It's like everything inside of him is screaming at him to just get up and go after her, to tell her how much she truly means to him. But the other half of him feels like she already knows that. She knows, she just doesn't care. 

Everywhere he goes, all he sees is Clarke. It's like he can't escape her no matter how hard he tries. He never once thought he would be trying to escape Clarke Griffin; the love of his life, but here he is, trying not to cry as he looks around his room... their room. There are photos of her all over the walls, her clothes are still in the drawers, she still has her sketch book lying on his desk. 

He gets up and walks to the desk, his lungs constricting, trying to breathe but it's seemingly impossible. He picks up her sketchbook and starts flipping through the pages. He sees the drawings of Octavia, Raven, Jasper, Monty, Miller, and Murphy. He even sees drawings of Lincoln. He sees the landscape drawings that Clarke spent hours working on. 

Then his heart sinks when he sees the drawings of him. Of them. 

* * *

_ "What are you doing baby?" Bellamy asks as he tries to reach out for Clarke.  _

_ Laughing and pushing his hands away she continued to drag the pencil across the paper.  _

_ "Quit moving! I'm trying to draw you!"  _

_ "Mmm you drawing me like one of your French girls Clarke?" He teases, batting his eyelashes at her.  _

_ "You're so obnoxious you know that?" She says giggling.  _

_ "I wanna remember this moment forever. So I'm drawing it. That what when we're old and senile, we can look back on it and smile." Clarke says lovingly.  _

_ Bellamy just looks at her, love in his eyes.  _

_ "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, princess."  _

_ Clarke blushes, and sets the sketch book aside, climbing up next to him on the bed. She swings her legs so that they are on either side of him, and leans in and kisses his lips gentle at first, than more insistent. He grabs onto her hips and squeezes them for a moment before he pulls away.  _

_ "I thought you wanted to keep drawing so you'd remember that moment forever?" He says groaning as she kisses his neck.  _

_ "I do, but I also wanna give myself some more drawing material too... if you know what I mean." She says smirking.  _

_ "Oh trust me, I do." He says as he surges up to kiss her. _

* * *

He looks at the drawing as he holds the sketchbook tightly in his hands. He doesn't even realize he's crying until he sees his tears drop onto the paper. He puts the book back down, and walks back to the bed, putting his head in his hands, and just sobs. 

He doesn't even know how long he was just sitting there crying, when someone comes into his room, sits next to him, and just rubs his back as he cries. He didn't even bother to look up and see who it was, just like they didn't bother to announce themselves. 

When he finally calmed down enough, he looked up and saw his sister, tears in her own eyes, as she looks at him sadly. 

"Bell—"

"Please O, can we just not talk? Please?" He says voice breaking. 

"I can't let you bottle this up Bellamy. I mean you're already spiraling... just outside you were screaming saying love didn't exist. Now you're sitting here crying your eyes out while you hold Clarke's shirt. Did you even realize you were holding her shirt Bellamy?" Octavia says sadly. 

Bellamy looks down and sees that he is indeed holding Clarke's shirt. He didn't realize he even grabbed it. 

Bellamy sighed, "I don't know what I did— what I did to make her stop loving me..." 

"Bellamy I don't think she stopped loving you. This doesn't feel right to me Bell." Octavia says. 

"Don't do that ..." Bellamy says shaking his head. 

"Don't do what?" Octavia asks.

"Give me hope." He replies 

Octavia looks at her brother broken form, and has never felt more pain and empathy for him than she does now. Bellamy has always carried the weight of the world on his shoulders. Clarke was the one person that helped lessen that burden. She made him happy, made him feel like he was worthy of living. This just doesn't feel right. 

"Bell... I don't want you to feel hopeless." 

"You weren't there O. Clarke was... she was serious. She didn't want to be with me. Every-time I tried reaching out for her, it was like I was gonna burn her. She flinched away. I just want to know what I did that was so bad, she fell out of love with me, and fell in love with Wells." He says crying again. 

Octavia leans in and hugs her brother. 

She doesn't know what to do. Their mother was normally the one that helped them to feel better when they were in pain. She wouldn't even have to say anything, just having her there was like a calming presence. 

"Bell.. I don't know if this is gonna help but- do you wanna go to moms grave? I know she's gone but whenever we needed her all she had to do was—" 

"Sit there and be present." Bellamy finished with a sad smile. 

"I guess we can go see mom. I need to get out of this room right now anyways. Every inch of this place just reminds me of Clarke and it just... it hurts so damn much."

Octavia ducks her head sadly. 

"I know big brother, I know..." 

They both stand up and make their way to Bellamy's Jeep. As the drive to their mothers grave, Bellamy lets himself think of when he went there with Clarke after they started dating. 

It seems like no matter what he's doing, his mind will always go back to Clarke. 

* * *

_ "Are you sure you want me here Bell? I don't want to intrude..." Clarke says. _

_ Bellamy rolls his eyes.  _

_ "Of course I want you here Clarke. You were close with her, and now you're my girlfriend. I want to tell her how much you mean to me." He says with a sad smile.  _

_ Clarke reaches out and grabs his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze.  _

_ They sit in front of Auroras grave.  _

_ "Hi mom. Clarke's here with me today. We wanted to tell you that... we're dating. I know finally right? I know that you knew I was into her from the moment we met her. I think you knew way before I did. I wish you were here mom, to see us together and to just be with us..." he says wiping a tear from his face.  _

_ "Anyways, I just wanted to tell you that— I'm happy mom. I'm truly happy and that's because of Clarke." He says turning his head to smile at her.  _

_ Clarke wipes a few tears from her face as well.  _

_ "Hi Aurora. I just wanted to say that your son is the most perfect amazing man. I love him with all of my heart, and nothing will ever change that. I know you used to tease me all the time telling me 'oh Clarke he's going to be your husband one day, I just know it!' Well, looks like you weren't wrong. Because I can't see myself with anyone but Bellamy." She says smiling.  _

* * *

They left the grave that day, hand in hand; ready for their future. 

Bellamy blinks away tears. So much for forever. 

When they get there, Bellamy falls to his knees and weeps. Octavia sits down next to him rubbing his back. 

"Hi mom..." Bellamy says, voice broken.

۵༄❆

  
  
  



	5. Chapter Five

۵༄❆

_**Clarke takes a deep breath**_ as she climbs out of her window. She looks down and sees the drop. She's never been afraid of heights, she's normally the daring type. However, looking at the ground now, the distance between her and Bellamy; is making her head spin.

"Clarke you have to hurry up." Wells says frantically.

"I know I'm sorry. Okay I'm gonna go. I've got this." Clarke says.

Then she takes one final breath, and jumps out of her window. She lands on the ground with a thump and she winces softly. Nothing is broken, but it hurt regardless. She stood up and started to run. She couldn't take any of the cars because then it would alert everyone to what she was doing. She couldn't risk it.

She ran as fast as she could to Bellamy's house. All she could think of as her feet hit the pavement underneath her, was how badly she just wanted to stay with him. To tell him everything.

For him to just declare that he couldn't live with out her and take her away from all of this. But he couldn't, and it was selfish of her to even entertain those thoughts.

When she finally saw the house in her sights, her heart dropped because she didn't see the car in the driveway. She ran to the front door and knocked on it loudly.

"Bellamy??? Bell please open up. Are you here??" Clarke calls out frantically.

"Shit!" She yells as she runs her hands through her hair in frustration. She didn't bring her spare key because she didn't think she'd need it. How could she have been so stupid?? How is she supposed to get this letter to him now? She wanted to give it to him herself, but now she's scared she won't get that chance.

"Is everything okay out here?"

Clarke turns around and sees Echo leaning against her porch.

"Oh.. hey Echo. Everything is fine. Do you know where Bellamy went?" She asks.

"Nope. Last I saw he got in the car with Octavia." Echo says.

Clarke opens her mouth to speak, but then sees Jaha's car turning the corner. Her heart stops. Wells couldn't distract them. They knew what she was trying to do.

Making a split decision, Clarke turns to Echo.

"Look, I have to leave. I'm gonna... be gone for a bit. Can you please make sure this letter gets to Bellamy?" Clarke asks.

Echo nods. "Yeah I'll be sure to give it to him. We're friends now, Clarke."

"Thank you. Thank you so much." Clarke says handing the letter to Echo.

As soon as Clarke hands the letter to her, the car pulls up and Jaha gets out. He looks angry, and not for the first time, Clarke is scared.

"Good evening ladies. Clarke its time to go." He says, no room for argument in his voice.

Clarke nods and waves goodbye to Echo as she gets into the car with Jaha. The second the Blake house is out of view, Jaha stops the car, turns around and grabs Clarke by the hair.

Clarke cries out in pain.

"What were you doing there Clarke?" He asks.

Just then Clarke notices that all of the bags are in the car; Wells is in the passengers seat, body turned away from his father, his body shaking slightly. Clarke realizes then that she won't even be able to go back home and leave anything else there for them.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." Clarke says while tears fall down her face.

"That's what the letter was for Clarke. Now because of your little stunt, I had to move the plan along faster. Your mother is going to be joining us soon. She had to arrange for Marcus to be transferred to the hospital in California. She will meet us at the airport." He spats, pushing her head back against the seat roughly.

"You know Clarke, as I was driving here I saw your little boyfriend and his sister at the cemetery." Jaha starts, and Clarke's heart breaks.

They went to go see Aurora. Bellamy always did that when he was hurting, because his mother's presence always made him feel better. This time he was there because she hurt him.

"I had some people watch them there. They are going to let me know when they leave. Then, and only then, will you text the girl. You will say nothing but a simple 'goodbye'."

"What? Why?" Clarke asks.

"Because that will make them go to your house, and find your letter. Because of the stunt you pulled tonight, that's the only way they will find it. I was originally going to have wells bring the letter to them, but now... not gonna happen." Jaha says.

Clarke can feel her chest tighten. If only she would have just waited. Wells could have given Bellamy the letter.

Now all Clarke can do, as they drive away from her home, her heart; is hope that Echo gets the letter to Bellamy.

* * *

After the visit with their mom, Bellamy feels a little less defeated than before. He still feels a hollow in his heart where Clarke will always be, but at least now he can actually breathe. 

"Did that help at all Bell?" Octavia asks.

"Yeah O. It helped a little." He replies, pulling into their driveway.

Bellamy and Octavia get out of the car; and see Echo standing in front of their house, eyes trained on a black vehicle driving away from her.

"Echo, what are you doing here?" Bellamy asks.

She has something in her hand, but she quickly folds it up and puts it in her pocket.

"Nothing, I was just looking for you, and I saw you weren't here so— I figured I'd wait." She says flirtatiously.

Bellamy suddenly feels nauseated again. It's not like he isn't attracted to Echo; because he is. It's just she isn't Clarke. She will never be Clarke, no one ever will.

"Well, we're back, you can leave. I'm going to spend time with my brother tonight." Octavia says glaring at Echo.

Echo scoffs, "fine. You know where to find me Bellamy." She says leaning up to place a kiss on his cheek.

Echo saunters off and goes back into her house.

"Are you fucking serious?" Octavia yells.

Bellamy turns around and glances at his sister.

"What O?? I didn't go with her. Chill out."

"I'm not gonna chill out Bellamy. I've sat here long enough. This isn't right okay! Clarke loves you! If you would just pull your head out of your ass for one second maybe you would see that this whole thing just screams WRONG."

"Octavia I told you not to get my hopes up. Stop doing this." Bellamy says walking towards the front door.

"Oh my god..." Octavia says looking at her phone.

"What is it?" He asks walking back towards her.

He sees a text from Clarke.

_Goodbye._

Goodbye? What does she mean goodbye?

"Bellamy we need to go to her house now! You need to fight for her!! Don't be a coward Bellamy! You spent years waiting for her, DONT let her slip away." Octavia yells pushing him towards the drivers seat.

He snaps into action then. She's right. He can't let Clarke slip away, not now.

They speed to her house and see that all the cars are gone, but the door is wide open. Panic seeps into bellamys bones and he rushes into the house.

"Clarke??? Baby please are you here?!" He yells.

Fuck. He runs up the stairs to her room; and sees that a bunch of her things are gone. But not everything. He looks around and panics, until his eyes stop at a envelope on her desk, addressed to all of them.

He swallows the lump in his throat and opens it.

Octavia joins him after, and sees that he has thrown a bunch of her stuff across the room.

"Bell what happened??" She asks concerned.

"I told you not to get my hopes up Octavia! I fucking begged you not to do this!"

"What are you talking about???"

"She left O! She left with Wells. She said she wanted to start over with him and start her life. That her and Wells were bound to happen at some point." He says crying. "I begged you not to let me get my hopes up..."

Octavia takes the sheet of paper out of her brothers hands and reads it. Her heart breaks with him.

Clarke really did change. She really did leave. How could she do this to Bellamy? To her? To all of them?

* * *

Clarke leaned her head against the window as she saw the trees disappearing in the distance. She stayed silent as they got on the plane, away from her life, her home, her person.

She wept silently as they got farther and farther away from everything she ever held close to her. How long would it take to get back to him? To her life?

She closed her eyes and sent out a prayer to whoever was listening, that she would get back to her love.

She opened her eyes; and found herself looking at what her life was now. Hoping it won't be this way for long.

۵༄❆


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Four years later...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna thank those of you who are reading this! I originally had this on Wattpad and it did pretty well on there, so I decided to upload here too. I hope that it’s good enough, and that you all enjoy! 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!!

۵༄❆

_**4 years later...** _

_Bellamy,_

_Today marks four years since I left you. Four years since I left my heart behind. I just want you to know that not a moment passes by, where I don't think of you. I write you letters every day. Letters that I hope soon; you'll be able to read. I'm fighting every day to make it back to you. The only thing keeping me sane, is the hope that one day I can run into your arms and finally feel peace. Finally be happy. You're the only thing that keeps me grounded, Bell._

_Wells and I are trying to keep each other safe. I know you'd probably have a lot to say if he wasn't there for me. You don't have to worry though, we're in it together. We've been trying to gather as much evidence against Jaha as we possibly can. Without those letters from my father though, it's gonna be much harder to get him convicted. Don't worry though, we're trying; and I feel like we're closer than we've ever been before. We have a plan to get the letters from Jaha. I know what you're thinking._

_'Clarke don't do anything stupid. It isn't worth it to put yourself at risk'._

_But the thing is Bell, it is worth it. Anything that makes it possible to me to get this son of a bitch convicted and out of our lives for good, is worth it. Because that means I can finally get to you, and finally get the life that we deserve. Leaving you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I hope to god that once this is over, it'll all be worth it. I know we're gonna have a lot of things to talk about and work through, but I'm ready for it Bellamy. I'm ready for anything as long as I've got you with me._

_Marcus is still in the coma... I've come to terms with the fact that he isn't going to wake up. Abby hasn't though, which is why she still is keeping him alive. I just feel like if he was going to wake up, he would have done it by now._

_I'm tired of losing everyone I love._

_Abby is going back to Arkadia with Marcus, Bell. Can you believe that? She gets to go back to the place where my heart is, but I'm stuck here? Hopefully you won't ever have to see her. She's still the despicable person that you knew. Hell she's probably even worse now. But don't worry your gorgeous head of curls too much. I'm a lot stronger than I used to be._

_She thinks that being in Arkadia again might be good for Marcus' recovery. And I hope it is, because I miss him. He became one of the only people I can trust in this world. He was the only person besides you and our friends that believed in me. Just like my father did..._

_How's Octavia? Raven? Hopefully Octavia and Lincoln are still together. I know she was young when they met but, true love knows no bounds. I know they're meant to be, just like us. Also, I hope Raven found someone to make her happy as well. I always joke saying that the best thing Finn Collins ever did was make me the other woman, cause I got to meet Raven. Gosh I miss them. I also can't help but wonder what monty and jasper are doing right now. Probably making some really terrible moonshine. I hope you laugh when you read this part. Is Murphy still an ass? I love that about him though, don't tell him I said that. How about miller? Is he still with Bryan?_

_Bellamy I miss you more and more everyday. I hope you know how much you mean to me. I'm trying my best to come home to you, my love. Hopefully this will be one of the last letters I'll ever have to write._

_I love you forever, Bellamy Blake._

_Truly yours,_

_Clarke._

* * *

Clarke leans back in her chair after she finished writing the letter; one of many. She runs her fingers through her now short blonde hair, and sighs. She looks at the timer resting next to each other, and her eyes widen when she realizes she only has two more minutes of alone time before Jaha comes back.

She bolts out of her seat and takes the letter and places it in the box with the other ones. She closes it and hides the box in the loose wood panel in her closet.

She runs back to her desk and cleans it up, making sure any clue to what she might have been doing is gone.

She jumps slightly when she hears the knock on her door. A code her and Wells came up with during their second year in this prison. Because that's exactly what this is... a prison.

They have their own rooms, if that's what you'd want to call them. They don't have any freedom, they leave only when Jaha allows them to, and even when they are out of the house, they're followed by Jaha's men. Nothing that Clarke has, is really hers. Jaha has made that clear.

"You can come in Wells." Clarke whisper shouts.

Wells opens the door slowly, and peeks his head in; scanning the room to see if Clarke missed anything. He lets out a sigh of relief and walks into the room.

"Cutting it kind of close weren't you, Clarke?" He asks.

Clarke sighs and shakes her head.

"I know. I guess I just had a lot to say this time..."

Wells gives Clarke a sad look.

"I know you miss him clarke. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault Wells." She replies sadly.

He reaches out and rests a hand on her shoulder.

"I know, but still. I hate seeing you in so much pain. I want to get you back to him. To all of them."

"We will get back to them Wells. We have to. If we don't... then I don't know what all of this was for."

Wells nods. "We will make it through this Clarke."

Clarke smiles slightly.

"I know."

۵༄❆


	7. Chapter Seven

۵༄❆

_**"Bell, babyyy wake up."** The soft voice says as Bellamy starts to shift in his sleep._

_His eyelids flutter open and he looks up to see beautiful pools of blue, staring deep into his soul. His heart starts to race as he sees her face. The face that has been in his dreams for four years._

_"Hi princess. I missed you." He says, reaching up to move a stray curl out of her face._

_She leans into his touch, and he sees her face flush a deep shade of red._

_"I missed you too Bell, so much." She says, as she traces the freckles on his cheekbones lightly with her fingertips._

_He leans up and closes the distance between them. Lips touching in the softest of kisses. He feels her sigh against his lips, and he can't help but smile. He tangles his hand in her hair and pulls her closer to him, so that their bodies are flush together. Distance is too painful when it comes to them._

_"Please don't leave me again baby." Bellamy pleads pulling away from the kiss, as he tangles his fingers with hers._

_"I can't stay Bell. You know I'm not really here..." Clarke replies as she makes her way to stand up, pulling away from him._

_Distance in the near future, pulling her away from this moment; away from him._

_"No. No please don't leave. Princess I need you." He begs, reaching out to her. With each reach, she pulls further away, until he can only see her golden hair in the distance, so close yet so far out of his grasp. Just like that night in front of his house._

_"Clarke! Clarke!"_

* * *

Bellamy jolts awake, sweat making his curls stick to his forehead. He's panting, and shaking slightly as he searches his room for those blonde curls, and those blue eyes that he can't seem to move past.

A body beside him shifts.

"Bellamy what's going on? You don't have a class yet right?" Echo asks as she looks at the clock on the bedside table.

Bellamy turns his head and looks at her. Disappointed, but not surprised to find that instead of those blue eyes and blonde locks, he's met with brown hair and brown eyes, that don't sparkle the way he imagines.

"I uh, I wanted to get an early start this morning. Go back to bed." He says leaning in to place a quick kiss to her forehead.

"Mmm okay. See you later tonight?" She asks hopeful.

"Yeah. See you." He says as he stands up and makes his way to the shower.

Things with Echo are complicated. He knows he cares for her. He loves her. But he isn't in love with her. He hasn't been in love since... since Clarke. He promised himself he would never get attached to someone like that ever again. It's too much pain for what it's worth. Loving someone that much just to have them leave... it's not something he wants to experience ever again. Echo knows what they are. She knows that this will never turn into something like the movies, where the guy suddenly realizes he's head over heels in love with the girl he's casually seeing. It's not reality. The only thing remotely close to a fairytale romance was what he had with Clarke, and even that ended in heartache.

As he showers, he tries to let the thoughts of Clarke go down the drain with the water. He wonders if the dreams of what could have been, what they were; will ever stop coming at night. He hopes they do, because reliving the feeling of loving her, and losing her was just too much for him to bare.

When he finished showering, he got dressed and decided he was going to go meet his sister for breakfast before his class. It's his final year in college, Octavia's first. He tries not to let his mind wander to her first year of high school, waking her up with Clarke laying in the bed next to her. Them all joking around while Octavia complained about how early in the morning it was. He snaps himself out of those thoughts. He hopes that maybe someday she will stop being the only thing he thinks about.

He saw Echo sitting at the kitchen table as he made his way to leave.

"Hey, what are you gonna be doing today?" He asks her as he grabs some water.

"I'm not sure, I might go check out that new kick boxing gym that just opened up on 5th street." She says as she eats her cereal.

"Sounds fun. Make sure you lock up when you leave, yeah?"

"Okay, bye Bell." She replies and he freezes.

"Echo..."

"Shit sorry— I forgot you don't like anyone calling you that anymore. You know, morning brain and all. Won't happen again." She smiles.

Bellamy nods his head and leaves his house, his heart feeling lower in his chest.

* * *

When he gets to the Cafe, he sits down and gets a table for him and his sister. It's been a little bit since he last saw her. They've just been so busy with classes that it's been impossible to make time for each other.

Just as he settles in the chair, he sees Octavia's long hair blow behind her as she opens the door to the cafe.

"Hey big bro." She smiles as she sits down beside him.

"Hey O. How's Lincoln?" He asks.

"He's good. We're taking it slow you know, seeing where things take us." She says smiling to herself.

When Clarke left, Octavia went into a major rebellion phase. She was hurt and sad, and the only way she knew how to express those feelings was by pushing away everyone who loved her. She broke up with Lincoln, cut her hair shorter, dyed it a darker shade of black, and started fighting everyone within a mile radius of her.

She stayed this way for the rest of high school,messed around with the wrong crowds, dated the wrong guys and became someone that Bellamy couldn't recognize. It took Octavia hitting rock bottom, and almost losing Bellamy for her to finally get ahold of herself.

Bellamy stayed in touch with Lincoln, and eventually he started to come around again. And Octavia was so thankful that he agreed to give her a second chance.

"I'm happy for you O. If anyone deserves happiness it's you." He says as he goes to grab the coffees he ordered them.

"You know, you deserve happiness too big brother. I know you're messing around with Echoe or whatever—"

"Octavia!"

"Fine, Echo. There happy?" She says rolling her eyes.

"Anyway, I know you're messing with her and all that, but why don't you just go and find a girl to actually date? Or— as much as I can't stand her, just date Echo for real? You deserve to be happy."

"Echo and I are dating O. It's just not going to lead to wedding bells." He says, exhausted with having the same worn conversation with her time and time again.

"Okay, I just don't want you to sit here and waste your life all because of Clarke leaving."

Bellamy stops drinking his coffee and places it down on the table.

"I thought we agreed not to talk about her O?" He says voice tense.

"I'm.. I'm sorry. You know I just want what's best for you—"

"I'm fine! Can we just stop talking about this now? Please?"

Octavia sighs. "Yeah, I'm sorry. How's class?"

The spend the rest of the day talking about safe topics. Topics that won't cause Bellamy to feel like he can't breathe.

It's been four years, why can't he stop feeling broken at the sound of her name?

۵༄❆


	8. Chapter Eight

۵༄❆

_**The rest of Bellamy's day**_ is uneventful. He has a routine. A routine that he's stuck by for years, not straying from it often; because he needs the sense of consistency. He wakes up, goes to class, goes in to TA for professor Pike, until he goes home and gets ready for whatever plans his friends have that night.

After Clarke left, he became very close with Raven. They both needed each other, because they lost someone that was a staple in their lives. When Octavia went off the rails, Bellamy needed to have someone else to care for, and Raven was that for him. They became very close, like family. He was protective of her just like he was protective over Octavia. When Raven dated Kyle Wick, Bellamy gave him the stern 'big brother' talk. Though that relationship didn't last long, Raven appreciated the effort Bellamy made to make sure she was happy.

Now Raven was happily involved with Bellamy's best friend John Murphy. That relationship was an interesting one. It stemmed from sarcastic remarks and lots of inappropriate jokes. Bellamy knew they were good for each other though, he knew this since his high school graduation, when he and Clarke joked about something forming between the two friends.

Bellamy's heart pangs. Every thing always leads back to Clarke. It's like he can't get away.

Bellamy opens the door to his house to find that all of his friends are already there.

"About time you got your ass home, Blake." Raven remarks as she plops down next to Murphy on the couch, nuzzling into his side.

"Shut up Reyes, I got adult shit to do, unlike some people." Bellamy replies smirking at Murphy on the couch.

"Ahh, bringing other people into the conversation to deflect from yourself. Good job Bellamy, you've reached peak douche status." Murphy jokes, throwing an empty soda can at Bellamy's head.

Bellamy smacks the can out of the way and it accidentally hits Miller in the head.

"Ow! Leave me out of your weird ass foreplay." He yells, laughing.

"You wanna join? We can make this one big orgy party." Murphy teases, shimmying his shoulders.

Raven smacks his chest as she laughs.

"I don't wanna hear the word 'orgy' being used to describe something that has to do with my brother... ever again. I'm gonna puke." Octavia says grimacing.

"You sure you're not just pregnant?" Murphy asks.

Bellamy's face gets pale.

"No you fuck wad I'm not pregnant. Idiot, look at what you did to Bellamy. He's broken" Octavia says, gesturing to her brother.

"Yeah, lets hope you aren't pregnant. You're nineteen." Bellamy says, glaring at Lincoln.

"Oh Bellamy, when are you gonna stop pretending to hate me?" Lincoln asks, placing his hand over his heart in mock offense.

Bellamy rolls his eyes and sits down on the couch next to Raven.

"You guys better not have sex on this couch. I'll burn it." Bellamy deadpans.

"Hmmm, you should probably burn it then, cause we have sex here every night." Raven says shrugging her shoulders.

"Ah! I love hearing about sex when I walk into the room!" Jasper says just as he and Monty get in the room.

"Where were you guys? I didn't even know you were here." Bellamy asks.

"We- were making the best batch of moonshine you will ever fucking taste, right in your back yard." Monty responds, as he and jasper do their signature self high five.

"You two are adorable. Still doing that cute high five thing that you did in high school." Octavia says.

"You know you love it." Jasper says.

"Yeah yeah." Octavia replies.

"So!" Raven says clapping her hands. "What are we doing tonight my main bitches?"

"Me." Murphy replies, winking.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT ORGIES??" Octavia says, cracking up.

"Okay okay; but for real, I kinda wanna go to that place near Polis. It's called Dropship." Murphy suggests.

"Oh!! I heard of that place. They're apparently really bad at checking IDs." Octavia responds.

"And that makes me want to go because..?" Bellamy responds.

"So you're amazing sister can enjoy the night out just as much as you can Bellamy." She says smiling.

"Fine. I'm down to go." Bellamy says, standing up and grabbing his keys.

"Is Echo gonna meet us there?" Miller asks, sounding uninterested.

Bellamy turns around and looks at his friends, and rolls his eyes.

"Most likely, yes. She got held up at work today so she said she'd just meet us there if she can get out. But I don't really care all that much."

"Wow, what a nice way to talk about your girlfriend Blake." Raven says rolling her eyes.

Bellamy just shrugs. "She knows what we are. She talks about me the same way."

"Whatever, you two are fucking sad." Murphy says.

"You know he's been this way since Clar—" Miller starts, but cuts himself off.

Bellamy just glares.

"Are you two fucking done? Or do you wanna keep judging my choices?"

"Sorry man." Miller says.

"Let's just go." Bellamy remarks, opening the door and walking out.

* * *

When they get to the bar, Bellamy walks straight up to the counter and orders himself a drink. While he's waiting for his drink, a girl with blonde hair comes up to him, and places a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey there, can I buy you a drink?" The woman asks.

When Bellamy turns to look at him, the woman's face lights up.

"Bellamy!? Oh my god!! It's me, Bree, do you remember me from high school?"

Bellamy looks at her, she's familiar. He thinks she was one of the cheerleaders who had a crush on him. He remembers her coming up to him and flirting with him. Saying something like: 'I hear you're into blondes now'.

* * *

_Just at the end of the game, Bellamy takes off his helmet and shakes the sweat from his hair, giving all of his teammates high fives and congratulations. Just then he feels someone jump on his back. All he saw was the flash of blonde hair covering his face, so he thought it was Clarke._

_"Baby! You saw that?! That was one of the best games we've had all season. I'm so glad you were here to watch me princess." He says, shaking his back so she'd jump off him._

_When he turns around, he sees someone who is definitely NOT his girlfriend._

_"Fuck. I didn't know who you were. I thought you were clarke." He says._

_"Yeah, I hear you're into blondes now. Wanna take me for a ride Bell?" She says, stepping forward and placing her hand on his chest._

_Before Bellamy can say anything, his ACTUAL princess comes up behind Bree and pulls her back by the ponytail._

_"He isn't interested in giving you a 'ride' Bree. But I'm sure all the other guys on the team would be more than happy to oblige.. again. How was your std test by the way? I saw you when I was picking up my birth control." Clarke says with mock politeness._

_Bree gets red in the face. "Fuck you clarke!"_

_"You see, I would; but Bellamy's got that covered. Thanks though!"_

_Bree stomps off into the field, and Bellamy turns to Clarke and smiles._

_"Brave princess." He says, pulling her into him._

_"You're all sweaty." Clarke complains._

_"This is no different than how I am after another form of exercise we take part in."Bellamy says, voiced laced with innuendo._

_"Yeah but that's way more enjoyable." Clarke smirks as she leans in to plant a sloppy kiss on his lips._

_"Let's get you in the shower, rebel king."_

_"Whatever you say princess."_

* * *

Bellamy pulls himself from the memory, clutching his drink tight in his hands.

"Yeah, I remember you. I'm not interested though." Bellamy says.

Bree scoffs. "I guess you're still with the princess bitch then?"

"Don't fucking call her that!" Bellamy snaps.

"Woah, whats going on?" Echo says, as she comes up next to Bellamy and places her hand on his shoulder.

"Nothing. She's leaving." Bellamy responds.

Bree looks between the two of them.

"Oh. I see. You're back to you're regular scheduled hookups then? Brunettes."

"I'm not just a hookup, I'm his girlfriend." Echo responds.

"Ha! That's rich. Cause he didn't mention you. I can't see why he's even interested."

Bellamy stays silent, as Echo glares.

"Huh. This speaks volumes. Always the brave little knight, there to protect his precious princess."

"Enough Bree. Get the fuck out of here." Bellamy yells.

Bree just laughs and shakes her head as she walks away.

"What was she talking about?" Echo asks, turning to Bellamy.

Bellamy stands up quickly, and pulls Echo towards the exit.

"Let's go back to my house okay?"

Echo smirks. "Yes sir."

Bellamy rolls his eyes, not sure why Echo likes referring to him as 'sir' during sex, but whatever gets her into it.

They drive home quick; and Bellamy fucks her, trying to keep the thoughts about his princess out of his head. It doesn't work, and he can't stop seeing Clarke there instead of Echo. He sees Clarke coming around his fingers, and then again on his dick. He sees Clarke's wide eyes and blissed out expression, and he comes with the image of Clarke on his mind.

"Wow... that was so good Bellamy" Echo says breathlessly.

Bellamy just sits there, staring at the ceiling.

"Yeah... Goodnight Echo."

"Mm night"

Bellamy closes his eyes, preparing himself for more dreams of Clarke.

۵༄❆


	9. Chapter Nine

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy** ,_

_I miss you so much. I can't handle being apart from you anymore. I keep writing letters, but the more I sit here and put pen to paper, the more my heart aches. This isn't good enough for me anymore. It never was; but you know, I was just taking whatever form of communication I could get. Even though I know you aren't responding to these because I haven't even sent them to you. Maybe when I'm finally able to come home I can show you these letters._

_I look at the photos of us every day. Do you do that too? Gosh you are perfect in every way. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that you were mine. I mean, do you see yourself? You're a modern day Apollo. I wonder if you read the letter I wrote you. I wish I could have been the one to give it to you, but circumstances didn't allow me to do that. Although, I probably could have just slipped it under your door or put it in your mailbox... no. I couldn't have because Jaha was right there. I didn't want him to see me doing that and risk you not getting the chance to read it._

_I hate that this is our new reality. I promise I'm trying to come home to you. All I want to do, is coming running home to you._

_I love you.._

_Clarke._

* * *

She stands and adds this letter to the ever growing pile of them. She closes her eyes and imagines Bellamy finally getting the chance to read them. Being able to finally see his beautiful face that she's trying so hard not to forget the details of.

Whenever Clarke gets the chance she draws him. She draws every part of him from memory so she won't ever forget a single thing about him. She won't let herself. She remembers one particularly bad panic attack happening when she couldn't remember the exact amount of freckles he had on his shoulders. It was probably one of the worst moments of her life; because as more time passes, he slips farther and farther away.

"Clarke, purple rain, please." Wells says, closing the door behind him.

Clarke turns around and goes to the radio, turning up the volume of the radio, to the song purple rain.

'Purple rain' is code for: Jaha is gone, but only for a little while, so we have to act quick.

The reason Clarke has to turn on the radio is because Jaha has every inch of this place bugged. He wants to be able to hear what they're doing at all times. Which is why, eventually he's going to catch on to their little 'purple rain' stunt eventually. Time is running out, and they need to get their act together. And fast.

"How much time do we have?" Clarke asks, pulling out a box from under her bed.

"Not long. He said he has to meet with a distribution team later tonight, so he's going out to buy a suitcase; one that he hasn't used before." Wells replies.

Clarke nods. She knows all too well how dangerous it is to reuse the same equipment from deals. Jaha has forced her to take part in many of them.

"Okay, so we have to make this quick then. Did you figure out the shift changes yet?" Clarke asks.

Jaha has people guarding his office at all times. All times except for when they change shifts. Which leaves a very small window of time for them to try and sneak into the office.

"I did. They change shifts around 3 in the morning, there is about a ten minute gap of time. It seems like a lot but... I know my dad. When he wants something hidden there is NO WAY he will risk it being in a place too easy to find."

Clarke sighs.

"So there is a pretty big chance that we're gonna have to sneak in there multiple times to try and find these fucking letters."

Wells reaches out for her hand but she pulls back.

"No! Just— no. Don't touch me right now. This has been going on four fucking years Wells! I can't take it anymore! I miss my home! My friends, my soulmate!" Clarke snaps.

Wells stands up.

"Don't you think I get that?! If you haven't noticed my life is falling apart too Clarke! My father is a crazy person, my girlfriend left me because I had to go along with this fucking charade of you breaking up with Bellamy because we're madly in love. I lost my soulmate too clarke! It fucking sucks, but that's why we've been working non stop to try and finish this shit!"

Clarke stands there stunned.

"I'm sorry Wells. I just— I want to go home."

"And we will. But we have to be smart about this. We have to be safe." He replies.

Clarke wipes at the stray tears on her face.

"I know. I know."

"Good. Now, we have a ten minute window. We go in, look for the letters, and if we don't find them within 8 mins, we leave. We don't want to risk getting caught in there." Wells continues.

"Once we find the letters, we have to make copies of them. We can't take the original ones because my father will know they're missing."

Clarke nods.

"Once we get the copies what are we gonna do Wells? We know your father has connections in the police department. What then?"

"Well, if they want to keep their jobs, they're gonna have no choice but to go along with things. They may work for my father, but they won't allow themselves to be brought down with him. Trust me, they aren't that dumb."

"Okay. We do this tonight. I don't want to waste anymore of my life here." Clarke says, determined.

"Okay. It'll be okay Clarke. We can do this."

Wells walks to the window to check if Jaha is back yet. Sure enough, his black sedan pulls into the driveway.

"Clarke, he's back. Hide the box." Wells says rushed.

Inside the box, is a few pieces of evidence that they have gathered throughout the years of things that connect Jaha to the drug influx that has occurred. Though all of this evidence is affective, it means nothing without those letters. Those letters are the thing that will seal this case closed before Jaha even has a chance to try and work his way out of it.

Clarke hides the box, and goes out of the room, Wells following closely behind her.

They rush to sit in the living room, and Clarke grabs the book that's sitting on the coffee table.

Jaha entered the living room, shiny new briefcase in hand.

"Ah! Good. You're both here. I have something I need to discuss with you two." Jaha starts.

"As you know, I was supposed to meet with a new client tonight, but something has come up that requires my... full attention. So I need the two of you to meet with him instead."

Clarke's heart stops. This is the part she hates most. She can handle being slapped around by jaha. She can handle him hitting her, and bossing her around. But making the deals... taking part in the thing that got her father killed, it's too much for her to bare.

Wells knows this, which is why he always tries to save her from having to do it.

"I don't need Clarke with me, I can do it on my own." Wells says.

"I don't care. I told you, I want Clarke there." Jaha says.

"But—"

"Shut up!" Jaha yells.

"Clarke will be there, because this particular client wants a little more than just drugs... and you aren't his type, son."

Wells' eyes go wide, then grow dark with anger.

"FUCK THAT! Clarke isn't a fucking toy, you're not going to sell her!" Wells screams.

Jaha grabs Wells by the neck, and Clarke cries out, unable to bare the sight of her friend being hurt.

"I'm not selling her. I'm using her assets to my advantage. At the end of the night, she will be here. Cage Wallace likes watching pretty girls, so that's what he's going to get. He won't touch her, he wants to look at her. There's a difference." Jaha spits out, as he throws Wells back on the couch.

"Watch— what do you mean by watch?" Clarke asks tentatively.

He silently hands her a bag.

"I expect you both to be ready by 10." And then he leaves the room.

Clarke opens the bag, and immediately becomes sick at what she sees.

Little red lingerie.

"No way. No fucking way." Wells says.

"Wells—"

"NO!"

"I don't have a choice!" Clarke yells, and then leans in to whisper in his ear.

"I have to do this, because we need to make sure he doesn't grow to suspicious of our rebellious behavior. We need him to trust us enough to where he won't stick his men on us. Trust me, I don't want to do this. But I will do whatever it takes to get home to my heart." Clarke says tearful.

Wells nods. He knows it's what needs to be done, even though he hates it.

Clarke then wipes her tears, and a cold expression crosses her face.

"We do this, and then we find those fucking letters. I want him to fucking rot in hell for the rest of his life." Clarke says.

Wells nods sharply. And they both stand to go back upstairs.

* * *

_Bellamy,_

_I'm sorry. I'm so sorry._

_I know it won't make much sense to you as you read this letter, because I don't even know what will happen tonight. I'm writing this now because I know I probably won't get a chance to do it tonight._

_Wells and I have a pretty solid plan. And yes, we're going to be safe. We've been tracing this for years baby, We're prepared._

_We're going to try and end this tonight. Try being the key word. We don't have much time to find them and we're going to do our best. I want to come home baby._

_As for why I said sorry, in order to get home to you, I've had to do so many things I hate myself for. So many fucking things. But I'm afraid tonight will be the worst of it all. I don't know what will happen, but I do know I won't let him touch me. No one will ever touch me but you. I won't allow it._

_I don't want you to be nervous because I'm sure I'm feeling that enough for the both of us._

_I just hope that you'll forgive me for what I've had to do, in order to return to you._

_I love you so much baby._

_Clarke._

۵༄❆


	10. Chapter Ten

۵༄❆

_**Clarke grabs her things**_ and makes her way to the bathroom after she writes the letter to Bellamy. Saying that she's nervous is an understatement. She's always been nervous during these kinds of deals, but now that Jaha is not offering up her body as a fucking consolation... she can't even stomach the fear she is feeling.

Before she knows it she's bending over the toilet bowl as she throws up. Her body can't take this anymore. She's not the same as she used to be. Much more pale, fragile. She might even go as far as to describe herself as weak. Though she likes to believe her emotional strength has grown, her physical strength has plummeted. And now her mental strength is being tested.

She goes in the shower, trying to wash away the shame she is already feeling; and she cries. She feels like she shouldn't even have any tears left, based on how much she has cried during these four years. But alas, here she is again, crying until she physically can't anymore.

She steps out of the shower and picks up the bag that Jaha gave her. With shaky hands she puts on the lingerie, trying not to focus on the fact that she's going to have to allow someone to look at her in this. Someone who she doesn't want to look at her.

She puts on a dress over top of the lingerie, because Jaha tells her that her wearing a dress gives her a more 'innocent appeal'. As if dealing drugs is such an innocent thing to do. She pulls her hair in a bun, and puts on light makeup, and leaves the bathroom.

Wells approaches her and places a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"I'll make sure nothing happens clarke. I'm so sorry this is happening." He says sadly.

Clarke tried to smile at him, but she knows it falls flat. There isn't really anything to be happy these days.

"Oh good. You're both ready. Sit down and let me give you the rundown on tonight's deal." Jaha says, nudging them to the couch.

Wells gives her a look. Not just any look. One that she has become very well acquainted with these days. He's up to something.

They sit down, and Jaha gives them a terrifying smile.

"Now. As I've mentioned before, this is a very important deal for this business. Cage Wallace is one of the richest men in the world, and having him as a client... that would be very helpful."

Clarke tries not to roll her eyes. Cage Wallace runs the 'mount weather asylum.' Many people have tried to say they've been put in these under false claims, but no one believes them. Clarke can't help but think that with Jaha's drugs, he can make those people more compliant. She feels nauseous again.

"What you have to do, is show him the product. Explain to him the price, and the confidentiality agreement. Then, in order to seal the deal completely... Clarke will put the present I gave her to use." Jaha says.

Clarke WILL put the present to use.

No room for arguments.

Wells stands up and reaches out for Clarke's hand. She takes it and they grab the suitcase and make their way to the car that is waiting out front for them.

* * *

The drive to the warehouse is silent. Mostly because anything they could talk about, would be heard by their driver. They can't afford for that to happen. Secondly because Clarke can't bring herself to talk. Knowing that if she tried her vocal chords would betray her and she would surely break down again, and right now she needed to stay strong. For Bellamy.

They pull onto the curb of the warehouse, and the driver signals for them to get out of the car, and they comply.

Clarke's breathing starts to grow heavy, and she can feel her skin grow colder with each step they take.

"We're here to see Cage." Wells says, voice strong and unwavering.

The man Wells was talking to nods his head and brings them to another door, opening it and making room for them to enter.

They walk in and there is Cage, standing there with two chairs in front of him.

"Welcome! I was told that you will be talking me through this... business endeavor?" Cage says.

"You were told correctly. Now, I have some paperwork for you to sign first. It's just the confidentiality agreement" Wells says, handing the papers to Cage.

He takes them and signs them quickly.

"Done. Now may I see the product?" He asks.

Wells places the suitcase on the table in front of him; and opens it, revealing Jaha's drugs. More than Clarke has ever seen before.

Cage runs his fingertips across the suitcase, smiling wide.

"Lovely. I think this will work very nicely for my first order." He says, then moving his gaze over to Clarke. Cage licks his lips and clears his throat.

"I believe I was also promised a little more incentive... you know, to make sure this deal goes smoothly?" Cage says.

Clarke shivers. She was hoping that this part of the deal was forgotten about.

Wells stands tall,and crosses his arms facing cage.

"is this really necessary? You already saw the product, and you already disclosed that this would be a great business deal for you. Why must you need any more incentive?"

Cage scowls at Wells.

"I suggest you fix your tone of voice, before I'll be forced to do something I'm sure no one will like. Or maybe I'll just cancel this deal all together? I'm sure you're aware of how angry people can get when their deals fall through." Cage remarks.

Wells goes to say something else but Clarke stops him with a hand on his shoulder.

"It's okay. We knew what was going to happen tonight going into this." She says, lifting her shoulders trying to feign confidence.

"I was told that you only want to look? No touching correct?" Clarke asks.

"For now, yes that is correct. I like to observe before I act, you get that right?"

"What? I was told this was a one time thing, that you only wanted to look. What do you mean 'for now'?" Clarke yells.

Cage steps forward and slaps Clarke across the face.

"That's strike two. Don't let there be a third. Now, take off that dress and stand there for me. Now!"

Clarke flinches, and swallows the lump in her throat as she lifts the dress over her head, revealing herself to Cage. She has to swallow down her nausea again.

"Mmm. Look at you. So pretty."

Clarke closes her eyes, trying to picture herselfin a better place. One that is far, far away from here.

She keeps her eyes closed as Cage rakes his eyes over her body. As he grabs his crotch at the sight of her. Clarke knows Wells is still in the room, because she hears his silent cries as he stands there helpless, unable to help his best friend.

Clarke can hear when Cage is finished because he groans loudly.

"Put the dress back on, and get out. I'll be seeing you again soon, whore." Cage says.

Clarke rushes to get redressed and runs out of the building, Wells in tow behind her. She slams the door to the car and begins to hyperventilate, unable to keep the panic at bay any longer.

"Take us back to the house now. I need my bracelet. I need it!!" Clarke yells.

The driver obeys, and before Clarke knows it they're pulling back Into the driveway.

Clarke runs up into her bedroom and grabs the charm bracelet that Bellamy gave her. She normally never takes it off, but during deals she wants to keep it safe, so no one thinks they they're entitled to take it from her.

She grabs it and puts it on her wrist, messing with the charms there, reading the part that Bellamy got engraved for her over and over again.

Once Clarke has calmed down, Wells enters the room.

"Clarke. We find these letters tonight. I don't care what we have to do." He whispers in her ear as he hugs her.

"With those letters, and the voice recording I took today of my father explaining; in detail, this drug deal, he will go away forever. I won't let Cage touch you." Wells says.

Clarke can only nod, as words are absent from her.

۵༄❆


	11. Chapter Eleven

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy arrived at Polis diner**_ and sat down at the usual booth that he and Miller normally sit at on the days where they need to talk to each other. Miller called Bellamy and asked if he could meet him here, telling him it was important.

Just then, Miller walks into the diner, hands in his pockets looking nervous.

"Hey man. Can we talk?" Miller asks Bellamy.

"Always. What's up man? You look like shit." Bellamy says.

"Ha! Thanks; how kind of you." Miller replies, sitting down at the booth. "Glad to know I can count on you to comment on my appearance."

Bellamy laughs. "That's what friends are for. So, what's up man? Really, you seem nervous."

Miller steadies himself and pulls out a velvet box, opening it to reveal a silver band.

"I want to propose to Jackson. I love him, more than I've ever loved anyone before... I want to make it forever, but I know he's nervous about it because of how people reacted to him being gay in the past... I want to do this, but I'm scared he won't want to take the leap. What should I do?" Miller asks.

Bellamy sits there, eyes focused on the ring. His heart starts to race, as his mind takes him back to a memory he tried to suppress...

* * *

_Bellamy sits with Miller at their booth in polis diner, anxious to say the least._

_"Why did you wake me up earlier than I needed to be? Graduation isn't for hours bro." Miller says annoyed._

_"I'm gonna show you something... and don't laugh at me. If I wanted someone to laugh at me I would have called Murphy." Bellamy says._

_"Shit this sounds serious. What's up Bellamy?" Miller asks, now concerned._

_Bellamy pulls out the promise ring he got for Clarke and shows it to Miller._

_"Holy shit!" Miller exclaims._

_"Before you say anything else, let me clarify that this isn't an engagement ring. It's a promise ring. I want to give it to Clarke tonight... Miller, I love her so much. I know that there isn't anyone else for me. I want her to see how much I love her, and I want her to have a reminder that one day; when we're both ready, I'll ask her to marry me." Bellamy says._

_Miller looks at him in awe. "Bellamy, I think that's amazing. I've never seen you this happy before. Clarke is your soulmate. I hope I find something like you guys have someday."_

_Bellamy frowns. "I heard you and Bryan broke up, I was hoping it wasn't true. Are you okay?"_

_"I'm fine Bellamy. Don't worry about me. Keep me posted on what happens with Clarke! You deserve this man."_

_Bellamy smiles. "I hope so."_

* * *

Bellamy snaps himself out of the memory, this isn't about him. This is about his best friend.

"Miller, Jackson loves you more than anything in the world. I can promise you, that when you ask him, and tell him all he means to you, he will say yes. There isn't a doubt in my mind about that. People are always going to judge, but you have to push that out of your head, because honestly? Fuck them. If they can't see true love for what it is, than they can float themselves." Bellamy says; remembering an old inside joke between the two friends.

Miller smiles wide, "damn straight, they can float themselves. Thank you Bellamy. I really needed to hear that."

"You know you can come to me anytime."

"I know but I was a little nervous talking to you about this... you know why." Miller says sadly.

"Just because my life isn't where I want it to be, doesn't mean you have to walk on eggshells around me. I'm fine." Bellamy says.

"But you aren't happy. I want you to be happy."

"It's fine Miller. Let's just drop it now, and tell me how you're gonna pop the question." Bellamy urges.

Miller smiles reluctantly, and begins telling Bellamy all about his plans.

* * *

Later that night, Clarke packs bags of everything she wants to take with her after they leave this hell hole. The only things that truly matter to her, are every piece of Bellamy that she brought here with her. She packs the things quickly, not bothering with any other clothing item that she owns. She will buy new clothes when she gets home.

She closes her eyes and steadies herself.

"I'm coming home baby. I'm gonna come home."

* * *

At 2:50am, Wells comes into Clarke's room.

"Did you pack?" He asks quietly.

Clarke nods and turns her gaze to the small bag resting on her bed.

"Okay. We can do this Clarke. I have a good feeling about tonight." Wells says.

"It has to happen Wells. I refuse to stay here any longer. We need to get our lives back." Clarke says determined.

"We will. We've got to."

Once the time finally came for them to go into the office, they began to look through all of his drawers and file cabinets.

"This would be too easy, Wells. If you were hiding something, where would you keep it??" Clarke whisper shouts.

Wells stops in his tracks and looks at his watch. They only have 3 more minutes of safe time to find these letters.

"My dad loves space. He says that it's the only place that you can have true peace, which is why he created a drug like that." Wells turns his gaze to a replica of a space station. It's fairly large, and has a key pad on the side of it.

"It has to be in there, Clarke."

"It's got a key pad Wells. How the fuck are we going to get in there?"

Wells starts typing something into the key pad, but it doesn't open up. Wells visibly becomes sad. "Well, the code isn't my birthday..."

Clarke frowns. She knows how hard it is for Wells to deal with his father being the way he is. Having a parent that doesn't love you anymore... Clarke knows the feeling all too well.

"I'm sorry Wells... I hate to say it, but we only have 2 minutes left."

Wells shakes away his hurt feelings, and then tries another code, and to his surprise it opens. Inside are the letters.

"Holy shit." Wells says.

"We don't have time to make copies of them all. Just take them. We need to leave now!" Clarke says.

Wells grabs the letters and the two of them bolt out of the office, carefully trying not to make too much noise.

They make it back to Clarke's room, and grab their bags, showing the letters into them.

"Okay, I have two bus tickets to the police station, but we need to sneak out of your window now. The shift change is about to happen, we don't have anymore time to waste Clarke."

Clarke nods and opens her window, dropping both of their bags out of it before jumping out. She waits for Wells to jump out as well, and he does, grabbing their bags, and Clarke's hand.

And then they're running.

They're running faster than they've ever run before. Clarke feels like she's out of it, because the next thing she knows, they're on a bus. Clarke sits next to Wells, laying her head on his shoulder. They're so close to being free.

"Out of curiosity, what was the password for the space safe?" She asks quietly. Wells is quiet for a moment. He takes her hand and squeezes it. Clarke has a feeling she's not going to like the answer.

"The day your dad died."

Clarke's heart grows cold and her jaw clenches. That man is going to pay for what he's done to her, to Wells. He's going to rot in prison for the rest of his life without a pot to piss in.

She'll make sure of it.

Soon, they're walking into a police station to hand in the letter convicting Jaha, along with the rest of the evidence they've gathered through the years.

"Can I help you?" A man asks.

"We have a crime to report," Wells says since he's the only one of the two of them who can speak. The police officer raises an eyebrow.

"And what is it?"

"A drug cartel run by my father, Thelonius Jaha." The police officer's eyes widen and he looks behind him.

"Miller, come here," he calls. A tall dark man strides over. "These kids say they have a drug cartel to report." The police officer, Miller, looks down at us.

"Do you have proof?" He asks gently.

"Plenty of it. A recording of my father talking about a drug deal and letters written by her father, whom my father had killed." The officers share a look.

"Why don't you come back with me and we'll talk more about it." He beckons for them to follow him into a questioning room.

The police officer, a man named David Miller and for a moment, Clarke wonders if he has any relation to Nathan Miller, but that it's just wishful thinking. Nate lives in Arkadia, and he never mentioned his father before. He takes them both into a room to ask them a few questions.

"So, how long have you been working for him?" David asks.

"He's been forcing us to work for him, for four years. He ruined her life, and has been a puppet master in this scheme since we were kids. We've been fighting ever since to break free." Wells says, holding Clarke's hand.

"And you're- you're his son?"

"Yes. But I don't consider him to be my father. Not anymore. Not for a long time." Wells replies sadly.

David nods, and continued asking the routine questions.

"We really only need the letters that convict Jaha. Looking through these, there are a lot of personal ones. Would you like to keep them?" He asks.

Wells looks at Clarke, still seeing that she is still at a loss for words.

"Yes. We will keep those. Thank you." Wells responds for her.

David nods, then asks,

"Do you have anywhere to go?"

Clarke speaks up this time, for the first time that her trauma has allowed.

"Yes. We're going home."

۵༄❆


	12. Chapter Twelve

۵༄❆

_**After talking to Miller**_ about the proposal plan, Bellamy just wanders aimlessly around town. He's happy for his friend, of course he is. Miller deserves everything, and he's so happy that his friend finally found someone who is going to love him the way he deserves. So he's happy, ecstatic even. However, he can't shake the feeling of heartache.

Bellamy thought that by now, he and Clarke would be on the verge of getting engaged themselves. He'd give her his mother's ring, and she would probably punch him for making her cry. They would be planning their wedding and just be happy together. Instead, he's walking; with a pain in his chest where his heart should be.

He thought that by now, the thought of Clarke wouldn't hurt so damn much. It's been four years, yet it still feels like it happened yesterday. He hates how much of a hold she still has on him. He's trying to move on, he's dating Echo, and that's... that's good. He knows Echo loves him, and won't leave him for anyone else like Clarke did. He's trying to love Echo, but it's hard for him. Love in general is hard for him. Clarke broke more than just his heart when she left. She broke his sister's heart, Raven's heart. She broke their family.

Bellamy makes his decision in that moment. It's been a while since he let himself even think about drinking like this. He didn't allow himself to let go this way often, but he needed to tonight. Being sober hurt too damn much.

* * *

_Bellamy knocks on Miller's door after he watched Clarke walk away from him. After she broke up with him and told him that she wanted to be with Wells. He feels empty._

_Miller opens the door and is confused to see Bellamy._

_"What are you doing here? I thought you and Clarke would be halfway to pound town by now—"_

_Miller stops talking as Bellamy starts to cry. Bellamy never lets anyone see him cry, so something horrible must have happened._

_"Bellamy! What happened?" Miller asks._

_"Clarke left me."_

* * *

Bellamy opens the door to the liquor store and walks inside. He walked towards the back where his drink of choice resides: bourbon.

He grabs two bottles, and turns around to pay when he bumps into someone.

"Oh! I'm so sorry—"

His whole body freezes. Abby Griffin, standing right in front of him.

"Bellamy." Abby snarls.

Bellamy can smell the alcohol already on her breath. As much as he hates this woman, he can't in good conscience let her walk out of here without making sure she will be okay.

"Ms. Griffin. How are you?"

Abby rolls her eyes. "Please, let's not sit here and pretend to care about one another. The only reason you put up with me was Clarke, and well, she's not a factor anymore."

Bellamy lets out a shaky breath and squares his shoulders.

"Just because Clarke isn't my girlfriend anymore, doesn't mean that I'm not gonna make sure her mother is okay. Even if her mother doesn't deserve it." Bellamy spits out.

Abby lets out an ugly laugh.

Bellamy's thoughts run wild. When did Abby even get to town? What is she doing here? Is Clarke here too? Bellamy gulps at the thought.

"Clarke isn't here, in case you were wondering. She didn't suddenly realize she missed you and loved you. She didn't come home for you. She's still in California. With Wells." Abby snarls.

Bellamy stands there, shell shocked. He wants to speak, say anything. But he can't.

Abby turns to leave, but stills suddenly. She says, quietly as if no one but her could hear.

"She's a problem that's been permanently taken care of."

Bellamy chokes on his breath. What did she just say?

He feels like he can't breathe. He grabs another bottle off the shelf, and pays faster than he's done anything before.

He drives to a spot where he knows that he can be alone; and he just drinks. He drinks until he can't anymore. He's expecting the pain to stop when he isn't sober anymore, but it doesn't. It just gets worse. Images of Clarke flow through his mind. Her laugh, her smile, her eyes. The way she puts her hands on her hips when she's angry. The attitude she possesses.

The next thing he knows he's in an uber, then he's on Miller's doorstep; just like he was four years ago. He knocks lazily on Miller's door. After a few seconds, the door opens. Miller takes one look at Bellamy and immediately feels guilty. Without a word exchanged, Miller opens the door wider and Bellamy stumbles in.

"Talk to me, man," Miller says as he forces Bellamy to sit on the couch. Bellamy says nothing, just staring blankly at a wall. Miller chews over whether or not to push, but he knows Bellamy will bottle it up if he doesn't. "Is it about Clarke?"

At those words, Bellamy breaks.

Heart-wrenching sobs emit from the boy who was once so, so strong. Clarke's face fills his mind. Her smile and her gorgeous eyes before it grows darker, the night she left him replacing the happy ones.

Miller wraps an arm around Bellamy knowing that this is what he needs. He needs to let his guard down. He needs to cry, to break down before he can rebuild himself.

After a few more minutes, Bellamy wipes his eyes and sits back.

"Sorry," he croaks.

"For what?" Miller asks, genuinely confused.

"Pulling the same shit I did four years ago." Miller shakes his head.

"Don't apologize. You're my best friend. It's what I'm here for." Bellamy gives him a watery smile before it fades quickly.

"I bumped into Abby." Miller's eyes widened.

"What did she say?" He asks gently.

"Basically how she's not back because she didn't suddenly realize she loves me. She's still in California with Wells. And-" Bellamy stops speaking, thinking back to the alarming words Abby added.

"And what?" Miller urges.

"She said 'she's a problem that's been permanently taken care of.' What the hell does that mean?" Bellamy asks, his mind running through all the horrible things that could've happened.

But then again, why should he care?

She left him. Broke him. Broke his sister, Raven, his family. Maybe-

No.

No. He loves her. He can't fool himself into thinking otherwise. He would never want her dead. Whether she's with him or not, he wants her breathing. Alive. Okay. Even if he's in pain, he still wants Clarke to have the best life she possibly can.

"What's going on in that big head of yours?" Miller jokes.

"I still love her. I try to love Echo. I know she'd never leave me like Clarke did, but I can't love her. I can't love anyone other than Clarke. What if I'm never able to? What if..." Bellamy trails off. Taking in a shaky breath. "I miss her more than I've ever missed anybody, Miller. I want her back." Miller squeezes Bellamy's shoulder.

"I know. But you have to try and move on, Bellamy. It sucks so bad getting your heart broken, but you will love again. You'll meet someone. Maybe not Echo, but someone."

Bellamy shakes his head. "I don't want anyone else Miller. I don't want to love anyone like I love Clarke. That's why I have to stay with Echo. She's good to me." Miller sighs in resignation.

"I don't think that's right because you deserve to love someone like you love Clarke and get love that way in return. If you don't love Echo, don't lead her on," Miller shrugs, "but what do I know. Not a whole lot since I'm a college dropout," he says bitterly.

"Woah, where did that come from?" Bellamy asks, concerned.

"My dad is a police officer in..." he trails off, looking hesitant.

"California," Bellamy whispers. It's not a question. Miller nods all the same.

"Yes. David Miller. Becoming sheriff is his biggest achievement. I'm his biggest disappointment."

"I'm sure that's not true," Bellamy assures.

"He left my mom and I not long after I came out." Bellamy and Miller are quiet for a moment, Miller thinking about his dad and Bellamy feeling sad for his friend,

"Well, like I said before, fuck anyone who doesn't approve. You love who you love, and you're happy with Jackson, right?"

"Extremely, Happier than I've ever been in my life."

"Then that's all that matters. You're not a disappointment to your dad, he's a disappointment to you. He failed you, not the other way around. Got it?"

"How is it that even when you're drunk, you're still just a wise old man?" Miller asks, laughing.

"It's all the trauma. Makes me smart." Bellamy replies, feeling a little better than he did before. Miller senses the change in Bellamy's mood and smiles. He doesn't hate Clarke as a person. Maybe there's something bubbling underneath the surface. Miller knows how much Clarke loved Bellamy. Which is why he was so confused four years ago when Bellamy showed up on his doorstep.

"I'm gonna get you some water. Don't want you to have a hangover." Miller says, and stands to go to the kitchen.

Bellamy leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. All he can do is hope that Clarke is okay. Hope that she is happy.

He falls asleep to the image of Clarke's smile, and Miller walks in, and sighs, hoping that one day; the broken boy in front of him can finally heal.

۵༄❆


	13. Chapter Thirteen

۵༄❆

_**"Yes. We're going home."**_ Clarke says, after not speaking up the entire time David was questioning her.

Wells looks at her, emotions crossing his features. His best friend is so strong. Now she will finally be able to go home and get her life back. The life his father stole from her.

"Unfortunately, if 'home' is not in California, you won't be able to leave yet..." David says sadly.

"What?" Clarke says, her jaw clenched.

"We cannot let you guys leave until we finish the investigation against Thelonious... we're hoping since we have all of this evidence, processing the arrest warrant won't take long." David replies.

"You're telling me... that after four fucking years of that man controlling my life, keeping me hostage; he's still preventing me from going home?? Getting my life back??" Clarke snaps.

"Ma'am, I'm going to need you to calm down—"

"I'm so tired!" Clarke cries out, "I just want to go home and be with my person!"

"I know, which is why I will make sure we do everything in our power to make sure this is a speedy process for you guys. Besides, this will give you time to get your affairs in order."

"Fuck that!" Clarke exclaims, pushing out of her chair.

"Clarke! You need to calm down. If you don't calm yourself I'll be forced to keep you in a holding cell until you calm down." David says.

Wells grabs Clarke's hand, "can we have a few minutes to ourselves please?" He asks David.

David nods, and leaves the room, giving them some time to themselves.

"Clarke.."

"Don't!" She snaps.

"Look. I get you're upset about this whole thing, but maybe it's a blessing in disguise. We don't have any plans! We have no money. Maybe with this time we can look at some places on Zillow." Wells says.

"Zillow? Why would we need to look at places on Zillow?"

"For us? We have nowhere to stay."

"That isn't true. Bellamy will let us stay with him." She says, as if it's that simple.

"Clarke... you don't know how things are gonna be when we get back home. You can't just assume that things are gonna jump back to how they were." Wells starts.

"He will. He read my letter—"

"You don't know that Clarke! Look I don't mean to yell at you, but you have to be realistic Clarke..."

Clarke feels tears well up in her eyes.

"Yeah... okay, you're right. I just— I miss him."

"I know you do. And we're gonna get back to him as soon as we can okay? David said it won't take that long because of all the evidence stacked against him. Everything is gonna be okay." Wells says, rubbing her back.

Clarke nods, and wipes at her eyes.

David knocks on the door, "can I come back in now?"

"Yeah." Wells answers.

"I'm sorry for my outburst, I just— I've been trapped here for years and I miss my home, my family." Clarke says.

"I can understand that. I have family far away from me too... I miss them everyday." David responds sadly.

"Well, I would fight for them. Go back to them. That's what I'm gonna do." Clarke says.

David smiles sadly, "I'm not sure I'll have luck with that, but the sentiment is nice at least."

Clarke shakes her head. "This won't be easy for me either. Jaha made me break their hearts, but I'm willing to fight for them, no matter how much I hurt them; I know that the fight is worth it. As long as you know that, I think it'll fall into place."

David ponders for a moment before smiling. "That's very good advice Ms. Griffin. Now, you two need to get some rest. We've set up a hotel room for you both for the night, to keep you far from Thelonious. We already presented everything to a judge, so hopefully he will issue a warrant for Thelonious's arrest tomorrow morning. The trial is already a sealed deal, since you have verbal and written proof of all of the charges. You two are lucky, things could have been much worse."

Clarke and Wells nod, and set out for the hotel that was set up for them.

They're one step closer to home.

* * *

When they arrived at the hotel, Clarke told Wells that he could take a shower first so that she would be able to have some time to herself. He complied easily, sensing that his friend could use the few moments just to think.

Clarke sat there and stared at the ceiling. What Wells said really hurt. She'd never tell him that though, because she knows he didn't say it to hurt her, just to make her open her eyes. Which she did. She's been basing this entire plan in her mind off of Bellamy reading that letter she wrote him. After Wells said what he said, now she can't get it out of her head.

What if he didn't read it? What if it's just sitting at the bottom of his dresser, untouched? Or even worse... what if he read it, and he just doesn't care?

Clarke shudders at the thought, and stands up to grab the box of letters she wrote him out of her bag.

She picks up another sheet of paper, and starts to write.

* * *

_Bellamy,_

_We did it. We found the letters, and we turned them in. We sat and talked to a man named David Miller. I wonder if he's related to Nate? Probably not though..._

_Look, I'm gonna cut right to the chase here and say; I don't know if you read my letter... i was so confident in that before but now, I'm not so sure. If you didn't, I understand. Maybe you thought it was too painful? I know I probably would have. I miss you bell, and I'm so close to coming home. But now I don't know if you'll be happy to see me or not._

_I've been writing these letters every day for four years. There's gotta be hundreds of them in here by now, but I want these letters to get to you before I do. So you can read them and know everything by the time I get home._

_I love you Bellamy Blake, and I'm coming home to you._

_Love always,_

_Clarke._

* * *

Clarke puts this letter at the very top, and knocks on the bathroom door.

"Wells! I'll be back I have to do something really fast." She says.

"Okay! Be careful!"

Clarke rushes to the post office, and sets everything up to send the box to Bellamy. She gives it to them, and leaves the post office, feeling a little more hopeful than before.

۵༄❆


	14. Chapter Fourteen

۵༄❆

_**Court day.**_ Clarke should be happy about it, but really, she wants to be happy about it in Bellamy's arms.

As Wells continues to scroll through Zillow, looking for apartments, Clarke sits there wondering if her box of letters is making its way to Bellamy. Maybe it already has, maybe he's reading them as they sit there.

"Hey; where did you go last night?" Wells asks suddenly.

"Post office. I mailed the letters. I wanted them to get there before we did, so that Bellamy can read them. So he will understand why I really left. I figured if he reads them, maybe he will be happy to see me."

Wells sighs, "Clarke he's going to be happy to see you. I know what I said yesterday wasn't... supportive but that dude loves you."

Clarke smiles softly. "Did you find any places worth looking at?" Clarke asks.

"Not yet, I'm hoping we can find one soon though. The trial's today... David said it is gonna be pretty cut and dry based on all the evidence. How are you feeling?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that question? It's your father on trial." Clarke replies.

"Yeah. My father, the man that murdered yours. Clarke... Jake was more of a father to me than my actual father ever was. I don't care about him anymore. I want him to be in jail for what he's done," Wells says solemnly.

"You're my family, Wells. We get through this together, okay? No matter what, we have each other," Clarke says, grasping Wells' hand.

Wells smiles at her, and turns his attention back to the computer screen. "Hey, what about this one? It's got two bedrooms, a nice living space, and it's really close to the Blake house." Wells turns the computer to Clarke, and gauges her face for her thoughts.

"It's perfect. Let's rent it. No offense but I'm hoping I won't have to live there very long." Clarke remarks laughing.

"Oh trust me I understand that perfectly. I know where you wanna be; and I want that for you."

"Stop being so sappy." Clarke teases.

"Yeah yeah, go shower you stink." Wells says grimacing.

Clarke throws her pillow at him and stands to go to the shower, knowing it's going to be one of the only moments of peace for her today.

* * *

Ever since Bellamy broke down to Miller, he's felt like a huge weight has been lifted off his shoulders. It's difficult always keeping everything to yourself, when all you want to do is just tell someone; anyone what you're feeling. Bellamy has always felt the need to stay strong, not show his emotions because emotions make you appear weak. He needed to be strong for Octavia, and then for Clarke. But Clarke left and now he needs to be strong for himself, because letting himself feel is too damn hard.

Bellamy walks into his house after a long day at work, ready to just relax and be alone for a little while. Octavia is spending the night at Lincoln's, and Raven moved in with Murphy a year ago, so he's got the entire place to himself for the first time in a while.

When he walks inside he's met with Echo, sprawled out on the couch wearing a cheap set of lingerie. Bellamy doesn't really care about money or anything, but if you're gonna get lingerie for cheap at least make sure it looks good.

"What are you doing here?" He asks as he puts his keys on the hook.

Echo stands and makes her way over to him, leaning up to kiss him. "I figured since you have the house to yourself we could... have some fun."

Bellamy sighs and pushes her hands off his chest gently. "Look, I'm really sorry but today has just been really tiring, and I really just want some time to myself.

Maybe another night."

Echo crosses her arms in annoyance. "What's up with you lately? You won't even touch me."

Bellamy rolls his eyes. "You're overreacting. I just told you; I'm tired, and I want to be alone for the night. I don't have to remind you that you don't actually live here right?"

Echo grabs her stuff and turns back to him. "Fine, Sorry. You rest, and we can pick this up tomorrow."

Bellamy nods, and moves to go in the shower.

"Oh, Bellamy your mail is here!" Echo calls.

"Could you just bring it inside for me? Thanks!"

Echo goes to the mail, and grabs all of the contents that are in the mailbox. She starts walking back up the driveway before the mailman stops her.

"Ma'am! There's one more." He says, handing her a package.

Echo smiles and takes the package from the man.

"Thank you. Have a nice night."

"You too!"

Echo looks down and sees a box. She looks in the corner to see the sender, and her eyes widen when she sees the box is from Clarke.

"What the fuck?" Echo whispers to herself. She narrows her eyes at the box and makes her choice. Fuck no. Clarke Griffin is not going to ruin things for her now. Echo thinks back to that night for years ago when Clarke gave her a letter to give to Bellamy.

The moment Echo moved here she knew that she wanted to be with Bellamy, but to her dismay he was dating someone that didn't deserve him. When that letter was in her possession, she knew that she had to hide it so Bellamy would never find it and never be able to read it. It gave her the opportunity to comfort him when he was sad, and become the woman who gives him pleasure. Now here she is again for years later holding a box that Echo can only assume are more letters from Clarke fucking Griffin.

Echo first enters her own house and places the box of letters on her nightstand in her bedroom. Then she makes her way back to Bellamy's place and puts the rest of his mail on his table in the kitchen.

"Mail is on your table. I love you!" Echo says.

"Thanks! See you tomorrow." Bellamy replies.

Echo walks back to her house and thinks about her relationship with Bellamy. Sure, it's not traditional in the sense where she knows she cares about him more than he cares about her. However, it's worth it to be able to be the one that he says good night too, and crawls into bed with at night. That's something that Clarke Griffin will not get ever again and that brings a smile to Echo's face.

* * *

Clarke steps out of the shower and puts on her outfit for court. Finally, Jaha is finally going to get what he deserves. He put her family through so much hell. He took away everything from her. Her father, her mother, four years of her life. Well guess what, that's over now.

Clarke walks out and Wells whistles lowly.

"Hot damn, Clarke. You look amazing."

"Gotta look good as the man who ruined our lives gets locked up," she replies, smiling at him.

"I would expect nothing less." Wells says, standing up to take her hand.

"Wow, you think I look good, look at you!" Clarke exclaims.

"Oh hush, you're making me blush." Wells jokes.

"Are you ready for this Clarke?" He then asks.

"I'm as ready as I'll ever be." She says, leading him out the door of their hotel.

When they finally get to the courthouse, they take their seats, waiting for the judge to come in.

The doors to the courthouse open, and in walks Jaha, in handcuffs.

He notices Clarke and Wells and glares at them, and Clarke feels the anger radiating off of him.

Wells grabs her hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

"We're okay clarke. He can't hurt us."

Clarke nods, and closes her eyes, ready for this to be over.

۵༄❆


	15. Chapter Fifteen

۵༄❆

" _ **The defense calls** _Clarke Griffin to the stand, your honor."

Clarke stands, and tries to push the ringing in her ears away as she walks to the witness stand. She knew she was going to have to give a testimony, but it doesn't make this any easier.

"Miss Griffin, could you please explain to the jury your experience with Thelonious Jaha?"

Clarke nods, and tells them everything. From her fathers murder, to when he came back to town and took over her life. Her finding out her mother takes the drugs he creates, to him threatening her. The jury listened in shock as they heard the disgusting things this man did to a sixteen year old girl. How he forced her to show her body to another man. How he would hit her.

Clarke felt numb throughout the entirety of the trial, only coming back to reality when the judge is about to call the jury back inside to give their verdict.

David was right when he said that this trial would go by fast. Jaha didn't even have a chance.

"The jury finds the defendant guilty of all charges."

Clarke's body fills with relief as she looks at Wells. He has tears in his eyes, but they aren't tears of sadness. They are tears of joy, relief to finally be free.

"Thank you to the jury. I would say to come back tomorrow for sentencing, but I don't want to waste another moment. This man has terrorized this family; and his own child for years. That finally comes to an end today. I sentence Thelonious Jaha to death. You have a week, and then we will be performing the death penalty on you. As for the money that you have, all of the dirty money will be returned to the Government. The rest of the money, the fortune you had before the drugs, will go to Wells Jaha. Case dismissed."

Clarke whips her head around to look at Wells. He looks just as shocked as she does.

"This isn't over! Watch your backs!" Jaha shouts as the police officers drag him away.

"That's where you're wrong dad. It is over, you can't terrorize us anymore. I'm done being sad over you." Wells says, voice strong and unwavering.

When Jaha is finally gone, Wells turns to Clarke and wraps her up in a tight hug.

"It's finally over Clarke. We're free."

Clarke cries into his neck, "let's go home."

"Let's go home."

The flight to Arkadia was tiring, having minor turbulence that made it to where Clarke couldn't sleep. Who is she kidding? She can't sleep because all she can think about is Bellamy. She wants to run into his arms and never leave them again. She's finally going home to her family. Though the excitement is there, she's also nervous. What if after all this time, they don't care to see her anymore? What if they push her away? It's these thoughts that finally lull Clarke to sleep. She's used to falling asleep to fear, she did it everyday for four years.

* * *

"You're insatiable, you know that!" Raven exclaims as Murphy kisses her neck outside the airport.

"Yeah but you know you love it, my little wrench monkey." Murphy replies as he wears a lazy smirk on his face.

Raven sighs, and leans in to kiss him sweetly.

"You're right. I do."

Murphy kisses her lips again, before looking around the airport.

"Why are we here again?" He asks.

"Because I needed a part for the generator I'm fixing and they had to fly it in from fucking California. And then they didn't even have the decency to have it sent to me! They told me to come here and pick it up from their technician." Raven says rolling her eyes in frustration.

"I love it when you talk techy to me" Murphy says, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Oh yeah? Hmm splitting wires, rerouting electrical units, fixing cars..."

"You better stop Reyes before I drag you into that bathroom over there."

"Fine fine, but when we get home you can drag me anywhere you want, okay?"

"Yes ma'am."

They continue to wait for the technician to bring in the part when a flash of blonde hair comes out of the terminal.

"Huh." Murphy says, sounding like he's trying to figure something out.

"What?" Raven asks.

"Nothing I just— there was this girl that kinda looked like Clarke. But it can't be her." He says shaking his head. "Nah, it wasn't her. Clarke's hair isn't short, and that chick was way too skinny. Kinda looked a little unhealthy actually."

Raven sighs sadly. "I just don't get why she left. She didn't even fucking say goodbye. If she wanted to be with Wells; though I don't understand that to this day, then okay whatever be with him. But leaving without so much as a wave goodbye?" Raven continues shaking her head, "it sucked."

Murphy leans forward and rests his head against hers.

"I know. I just hate how much Bellamy is suffering. He says he's fine but I know he's not."

"John Murphy being caring? How out of character."

"Shut up, Reyes. I can be nice sometimes."

"Mhm, sure you can baby."

Raven turns her head and sees the blonde that he was talking about before.

"Holy shit, you're right. If I didn't know better, I'd definitely think that was Clarke."

Murphy nods and moves his hands to her shoulders.

"We should probably not say anything about this whole 'Clarke look alike' to Bellamy. He's already been having a hard time lately. We shouldn't make it worse."

"I agree," Raven says. "I'm liking this side of you babe. Totally gonna get you laid tonight."

"Is that so?"

"Oh yeah. Definitely."

* * *

Entering their new apartment, Clarke turns to Wells and smirks.

"So, the master bedroom..."

"Is mine!" Wells shouts as he bolts to the bedroom throwing his bags on the floor inside.

"You ass! I'm the lady, and ladies always go first!"

"Oh save it."

"Fine fine. We're gonna have to buy furniture, you know that right?" Clarke says.

"Yeah, if you didn't remember; I'm rich now." He says smirking.

"Oooo big man got moneyyyyy." Clarke giggles.

"I say, we go get a cab, and we go see your man." Wells says suddenly.

Clarke looks at him with wide eyes. "I'm scared."

"I know. But I know you want to see him. I want you to be happy now Clarke. There's no reason you can't be happy."

Clarke gives Wells a wide smile and hugs him.

"Thank you for everything."

"Always."

* * *

Jaha is sitting in his cell when the guard comes in to tell him he has a visitor.

"Send him in." Jaha replies.

The door opens, and his visitor sits down in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Jaha asks.

"I heard you got sentenced to death. That's a tough break."

"Cut the small talk, Cage. What do you want." Jaha snaps.

"Now now; I've only come here to ask you what is gonna happen to your son and that blonde spitfire." Cage replies.

"I don't care what happens to them. They are the reason I'm here." Jaha says.

"So you won't mind if I take what I deserve?"

"Do what you want. But watch your back. If they are where I think they are, then it won't be easy to get to Clarke. I'm assuming that's why you're really here? For Clarke?" Jaha says as he leans his arms against the table.

"You've always been a smart man. Don't worry about anything. I've got it handled." Cage says coldly.

"Everything is under control."

۵༄❆


	16. Chapter Sixteen

۵༄❆

_**On the drive to Bellamy's house,**_ Clarke couldn't control the excitement she was feeling. This is all she has dreamed about every single night, for four years. Wells smiles at her as she nervously bounces her leg up and down.

"Hey Lil Griff Griff, it'll be okay! Don't be so nervous." He says smiling.

Clarke turns to him, filled with awe. "You haven't called me that in years."

"Yeah well, it's too happy of a name to have been used recently. But this is a happy moment, it's finally a good time."

Clarke grabs his hand and smiles. "You're the best Wells. I love you."

"I love you too." He says, getting choked up.

They pull up to the curb, and Clarke looks at the Blake house for the first time in four long years.

"It hasn't changed at all..." Clarke says, her voice getting choked up as she looks up at the place she called home... the place she will always call home.

Right at that moment, the front door opens, and Bellamy walks out. Clarke can feel her heart pounding in her chest, as she sees her soulmate, the love of her life, right in front of her.

All Clarke could think of, was how utterly beautiful he looked. He looked so similar, yet so different all at the same time. He was perfect.

"Go Clarke! Go get your man." Wells says eagerly.

Clarke smiles wide, and she opens the door getting ready to go to him. She takes two steps but stops when another person rushes out of Bellamy's house. The woman launches herself at him and presses her lips to his.

And at that moment, the world stopped breathing.

Clarke's ears started ringing. She couldn't breathe. Her lungs constricted as Bellamy wasted air kissing her. Echo. Clarke can't help but stare as the love of her life kisses another woman. One who he claimed to have hated. But she's been gone for four years, a lot can change in four years.

She met her soulmate, but it seems he didn't meet his.

Wells gets out of the car as Clarke manages to move her feet in the opposite direction of the source of her heartbreak.

"Clarke, wait," he says, trying to stop her. "Show him you're here, at least."

"He doesn't care, Wells! Look at him," she cries, gesturing toward the couple. "They're still kissing. I just want to go. _Please_ ," she begs. Wells clenches his jaw. He has half a mind to go plummet the bastard to death. He reigns himself in and opens the door for Clarke. She gets in and he closes it, rushing to his side so he can get her away from him.

As they speed off from the place she once called home, Clarke realizes that even death wouldn't make her feel more dead than she is right now.

* * *

A car door slams and Bellamy looks toward the sound. He squints, watching the car drive by him. His heart slams against his ribcage as he sees a familiar shade of hair. It's shorter, but he'd know that blonde hair anywhere. To drive it home, Wells is on the driver's side.

"Holy shit," he breathes, his knees locking. " _Clarke_?"

* * *

_Murphy opens the door to his apartment, and looking back at him is a very pale, haunted looking Bellamy._

_"Bellamy, man what happened?" He asked._

_"Murphy I— I see her all the time. It won't stop. She won't stay— she never stays." Bellamy says haunted, and sad._

_"Who?," Murphy asks. "Bellamy who? What are you talking about?"_

_"Clarke" Bellamy replies, as his voice breaks._

_"Clarke?"Murphy asks, confused._

_"I can't stop seeing her. She always shows up, and then she just leaves... am I going crazy?"_

_Murphy pulls Bellamy inside and tries to calm him down. "You aren't crazy. Talk to man. I'm here for you."_

_Bellamy explains to Murphy how he's been hallucinating Clarke ever since she left him, how he thinks it's real... until she disappears from his grasp, leaving him heartbroken all over again._

_From this moment forward, Bellamy went to Murphy every time he saw Clarke, and each time his heart broke more._

* * *

"What? What did you say?" Echo asks him.

Bellamy shakes his head, trying to rid it of Clarke. This hasn't happened to him all year, but for it to happen now? Of all times?

"No—nothing. Let's hurry and get to the bar, I need to see Murphy." Bellamy says frantically.

The drive to the bar is uncomfortable to say the least. Bellamy feels like he can't breathe. He finally felt like he was pulling himself together... he was finally feeling like he was mending and now all of these things he struggled with before came crashing back into his life... he needs to get to Murphy now. He's the only one who knows about the hallucinations...

* * *

Murphy leans against the bar, with Raven between his legs, when he sees Bellamy rush into the bar, searching around frantically.

"Babe; what's wrong with him? He looked like he's seen a ghost..." Raven remarks, and Murphy grows worried.

"Bellamy! Over here!" Murphy calls.

When Bellamy makes it to his side, he runs his hands through his hair.

"It's happening again. Murphy it happened again." He says, his voice cracking.

"You saw her?" Murphy asks.

Bellamy nods.

"Saw who? What are you talking about?" Raven asks.

"Clarke. He thinks he saw Clarke." Murphy responds.

"Murphy!" Bellamy exclaims looking at his friend in anguish.

"Bellamy, we saw someone at the airport today that looks freakishly like Clarke. What kind of coincidence is that?" Raven says.

"How— how is that even possible?" Bellamy asks.

Murphy suddenly stiffens behind Raven, his eyes wide.

"Because she's here." Murphy says, and Bellamy follows his gaze, as it lands on her.

She's there, standing in all her beauty. Blonde hair shorter now, just like he saw earlier. Her eyes red, looking like they are full of unshed tears. She is everything he remembered, and so much more. He can't figure out whether to cry, or smile.

Before he can even think twice about it, he lets out a strangled, " _Clarke_?"

Her eyes shoot up to his, blue meeting brown.

۵༄❆


	17. Chapter Seventeen

۵༄❆

_**"Clarke?"**_ Bellamy says again, his voice cracking with all of the emotions he's felt since she left, crashing down on him all at once.

Clarke's eyes shimmer with tears. "Bellamy..." she breathes out, seeming like she is about to step closer to him, but then decided against it.

"What are you doing here?" A voice from behind them sounds. Clarke's eyes shoot behind Bellamy to find an angry Octavia, arms crossed and eyes wild.

"O—,"

"Bellamy! Don't." Octavia snaps, and Bellamy closes his mouth to stay silent. Because what can he even say?

"Tavia—,"

"You don't get to call me that anymore Clarke. Only my friends can, and me and you," she says gesturing between them, "we are not friends anymore."

Clarke looks like she's in pain at those words.

"Octavia I'm so sorry."

Octavia scoffs. "Whatever Clarke." And she storms off, Lincoln following closely behind her.

Clarke turns her gaze back to Bellamy, unable to stop looking in his eyes. Bellamy can't seem to tear his eyes away, either. As much as he wants to leave her like she left him, he can't find the strength to move his feet.

"When— when did you get here?" Raven asks suddenly, sounding like she's trying to keep herself from crying.

"I got here a few hours ago... my flight landed around 3:00." Clarke replies softly.

Raven and Murphy look at each other suddenly, understanding passing between them.

"So it was you." Murphy deadpans. "Did you see us at the airport too, or were you too busy with your boy toy to notice two people you used to call family?" He snaps.

Clarke's eyes widen at Murphy's outburst, and then answers carefully. "I didn't see you... if— I would have come to you if I saw you."

Suddenly, Wells runs into the bar.

"Clarke thank god! I was looking all over for you." He breathes out.

Murphy scoffs, "you must keep her on a pretty tight leash then, huh?"

"Murphy, stop." Bellamy breathes out, speaking for the first time since Clarke came in.

"Bellamy, she left you and broke your heart, and you expect me to be 'buddy buddy' with the dick she left you for??" He snaps, and Raven grabs his arm and whispers a gentle "babe calm down."

Clarke tries to change the subject by asking, "When did you two get together?" With a small, hopeful smile.

Murphy glares at her, and Raven looks at her sadly. "Look, Clarke; I get that you're trying to be cordial and everything, but I'd really rather not have this conversation with you." Raven says, grabbing her things. "I don't feel like having drinks anymore, let's go home John."

Murphy stands up and goes to Bellamy.

"Let's go, Bellamy. You don't have to stay here."

"I'm good Murphy... let me just— let me talk to her a minute." He replies with his hands in his pockets.

Murphy nods, even though he's skeptical he knows his friend needs this. Closure.

Clarke's blue eyes are shimmering with tears, and Bellamy wishes he could take her in his arms and never let her go, but that isn't his job anymore... it's Wells. He feels sick to his stomach at the thought of seeing them together. Seeing them in general.

"So," Bellamy says, voice slightly shaking, "I saw your mom the other day, I should have guessed you wouldn't be too far behind." He says, trying to find some sort of conversation.

Clarke shakes her head, "I want nothing to do with her. I didn't come back here for my mother..." Clarke says, looking at him in a way that makes his heart race.

"Then why did you come back?" He finds himself asking before he can think better of it.

Clarke steps forward, and hesitantly places a hand on his shoulder. "Bellamy—."

"Hey baby!" Echo says as she wraps her arms around Bellamy, stunning him.

"Echo—," Bellamy starts sounding slightly annoyed.

"Who's your friend?" She says cutting him off.

Clarke narrows her eyes at Echo. "It's Clarke. You know damn well who I am." She finds herself snapping.

"Oh, sorry. Guess you're just not that memorable. Bellamy would know, right?" Echo says nastily.

"Enough!" Bellamy yells. "What the fuck is your problem?" He snaps.

His outburst was directed at Echo, but Clarke didn't know that.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I'm gonna go. I don't know what I was thinking." She says, running out of the bar with tears running down her face.

"Clarke wait!" Bellamy yells, but Echo pulls his arm.

"What are you doing?? You gonna just run to her? She isn't your girlfriend anymore Bellamy! I am! She's got Wells for that! You know her boyfriend."

"I'm not her fucking boyfriend!" Wells says suddenly.

Bellamy whips his head around to meet his stare.

"Did you guys break up?"

Wells scoffs and glares at Bellamy, and Bellamy can't find out why, considering Wells stole HIS girlfriend not the other way around.

"More like we were never together. But I thought you already knew that!" He says, immediately leaving to run after Clarke.

Bellamy is left standing there, wondering what he meant by what he said. Clarke told him that she was leaving him for Wells. How would he know anything other than what he was told?

Echo sighs. "Thank god they're gone." Leaning into Bellamy to kiss him.

Bellamy pulls away and glares at her. "What the fuck was that? You've never been territorial, you've never claimed me like that. Care to explain what the hell that was for?"

"You're my boyfriend and I didn't want your ex all over you!"

"Don't call me that! You know what we are, you've known this whole time. You know what I went through for the last four years. Don't you think seeing Clarke tonight killed me?? Maybe I needed you to support me, but instead you acted like a territorial psycho trying to scare away everyone else!" He snaps.

Echo rolls her eyes, "oh whatever Bellamy. I just wanted her to know her place."

"Her place?"

"Yeah. In your life. She has no place." Echo says like it's the simplest thing in the world.

"Excuse me? Are you my keeper? I get to decide who has a place in my life, and who doesn't! Not you. Find your own damn way home tonight I need space." Bellamy says walking out of the bar.

He stops when he sees Clarke crying in Wells' arms. He tries not to listen, he really does. But he can't help it.

"I didn't want it to happen this way" Clarke cries out.

"I know Clarke I'm so sorry..." Wells says, sounding a little choked up.

"He knew and he didn't care! He still moved on!" She says.

"I'm sorry..." Wells replies.

What is she talking about?

"Clarke..." Bellamy says, without even realizing he moved closer to them.

She freezes and looks at him, her beautiful face red and her eyes drowning in tears. It broke his heart.

Wells speaks up before anything else can be said.

"I think you should go Bellamy. Now isn't a good time."

Oh god. Does she still have her panic attacks? How many times did Wells hold her while she cried? While he wasn't able to...

Bellamy nods, and walks away, god knows why; but he does. He walks away leaving his heart with him.

۵༄❆


	18. Chapter Eighteen

۵༄❆

**_He knew and he still moved on_ **

_He knew and he still moved on_

_He knew and he still moved on_

Bellamy can't get this sentence out of his head. What does it even mean? What did he know? He knows she had a rocky relationship with her mom. He knows she came to his graduation after spending the whole morning saying she loved him, while she met up with Wells. He knew that she broke up with him for Wells. And now he knows that they aren't together anymore, or that they never were. He can't just sit here and drown in these thoughts.

He gets up, and walks to his bedroom; laying in bed trying to go to sleep. All he sees is those blue eyes, filled with so much pain. That's when he gets up, grabs his keys, and drives to where he knows he can find some answers.

* * *

"Octavia! Please just calm down." Lincoln begs as he sees his girlfriend pacing the living room in his apartment.

"How can you expect me to calm down?! She comes back four fucking years too late, and expects everything to go back to normal??" She shakes her head angrily. "Nah, fuck that! She has some nerve."

Lincoln sighs sadly. "She was your best friend... there has to be more to the story Octavia. I remember you saying that a lot the first year."

"Yeah, the first year. When I still had hope she would snap out of it and come home. But then three more years passed, and I realized I was being Naïve to think she would come back."

"I know she hurt you. She was my friend too, but what good is treating her like she's nothing really going to do?" He asks gently.

"It's gonna make her feel the same pain that we felt for years! Yeah she hurt me. She hurt me so much I became this despicable person I couldn't even recognize. But my brother... you saw him Linc. He was broken. He still is broken. He loved her—loves her, so damn much, that when she left he lost himself. Hell, he doesn't even believe in love anymore! He wastes his time with Echo, and won't let himself get too close because he's afraid he's going to get hurt again. I can forgive her for hurting me, but I can't forgive that." Octavia cries.

Lincoln is at her side in seconds, as she cries into his neck.

"I know babe, I know. But she came back for a reason... I think maybe we should give her a chance. To explain herself?"

Octavia ponders this carefully. There are a lot of pros to this. She'd be on the road to getting her sister back. The girls would be reunited and she would get back a piece of herself that she lost so long ago. But the cons are there too. She would be back, and that would give her another chance to hurt them.

"I guess I can try. But _only_ if Bellamy will. I won't talk to her if he won't. He was hurt the most by her. If he can forgive her, maybe I can too."

Lincoln nods, not wanting to push her anymore tonight.

Octavia stands suddenly. "I think I'm gonna go visit my mom. It always helps me think."

Lincoln nods, "That's a good idea." He replies, standing to kiss her. "You want me to drive you?"

"No, that's okay. I'm sure Bellamy probably will be there too. We need our momma right now..." she says sadly.

"I love you, Octavia." Lincoln says suddenly. It's the first time he's said it since they got back together.

"I love you. So much." Octavia says, hugging him tightly.

* * *

Bellamy sits at his mother's grave after talking all about what happened tonight. He knows talking to her always makes him feel better, but he still can't stop the ache in his heart. It was easier... loving Clarke while she was miles and miles away from him. But having her here, back in the same town as him, so close yet so far... it's killing him.

"Hey big bro."

Bellamy turns his head around and sees his sister walking up to him with a sheepish smile on her face.

"Looks like we both had the same idea." He says laughing.

She sits next to him on the ground. "Yeah, I figured you'd be here too. Are you okay? I know I kind of bailed on you back there..."

"It's okay, O. I... I don't know how I feel. It's like part of me is so happy to see her... because she's literally so beautiful and I love her. I never stopped. But the other half... I'm fucking mad. She's back now, of all times? With Wells? I don't know what to do." He says, a few tears falling down his face.

Octavia places her hand on his shoulder, tears in her own eyes. "I know... Lincoln made me think about it back at his place. She's back for a reason right? I mean why else would she be here? Maybe we should give her a chance?"

"I don't know O. I just don't want to be hurt again. But I miss her. When I saw her... fuck it's like my heart felt whole again for the first time in so long."

"Maybe we give her a chance to explain. Find out why she's back?"

Bellamy nods slowly. "If everyone else is okay, then I'm okay too. I don't want to do this alone."

"You aren't alone shit head."

Bellamy chuckles and turns around to see Murphy and Raven, along with Miller, Jasper, Monty, and Lincoln.

"What are you guys doing here?" The siblings ask.

"We figured we had a lot to talk about; and we knew you two would be here." Raven says.

The Blake siblings smile at their friends. They're truly the best they can have.

* * *

As they enter their apartment, Clarke sits on the couch, pulling her legs into her chest.

"Clarke—,"

"I had so many dreams about seeing them again," Clarke starts, her voice broken and weak. "I never thought it would be like that..."

Wells sits down next to her, knowing that she just needed someone to listen to her.

"God— Wells did you see him? He looked... he looked so amazing. It's like the first time I saw him all over again. I wanted to tell him everything right there, but then Echo... how could he even get with her? I mean he had to have read all of those letters... I sent them and—."

Tears ran down her face, and her body racked with her sobs.

"Clarke... I know this isn't what you want to hear, but if he was with her before those letters... maybe he feels bad leaving her now. I mean; I didn't know Bellamy for that long but I do know he doesn't like hurting people. Maybe you just have to give it time."

Clarke nods, "yeah I know but... I miss him. God he is it for me. I know it's been _years_... I should have had more realistic expectations."

Clarke takes a deep breath, trying not to allow herself to have another panic attack.

"Octavia hates me... and Raven couldn't get out of there fast enough. And god Murphy... even _he_ can't look at me."

"Clarke, they don't know what you went through. Why you left. We will make things better Clarke."

Just then, Clarke's phone buzzes, and a name that she hasn't seen cross her phone in years pops up.

**[11:52p.m]**

**Bellamy❤️:**

_Clarke, I'm not sure if you have the same number, but if you get this, we all talked and we would love for you to come to the bar again tomorrow. Maybe catch up? You can bring Wells too... let me know._

"Oh my god..." Clarke breathes out.

Her heart is beating out of her chest. Her Bellamy.

She shows the text to Wells and he nods.

**[11:57p.m]**

**Clarke:**

_Hey Bell, I'll be there._

۵༄❆


	19. Chapter Nineteen

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy stares down**_ at his phone, reading Clarke's text message over, and over again. Looking down as he sees the nickname he won't let anyone else call him, spread across his phone screen just like old times.

_Hey Bell I'll be there._

He felt the nerves flow through his body. Clarke being back was everything he ever wanted, but not like this. Not when things feel strained like this. Hopefully tonight will fix all of that.

"Hey man, thought you could use a drink." Murphy says, sliding a cup down the bar.

Bellamy lets out a laugh before he chugs the entire drink down.

"Woah, slow down. You don't wanna get drunk before she gets here do you?" Murphy asks jokingly.

"Maybe I do. Maybe it'll make this easier." Bellamy responds, looking down at his now empty glass.

Murphy nods in understanding, and flags the bartender down for another drink.

The rest of the gang gets there quickly, filling up the usual booth.

"Echo coming tonight?" Raven asks.

Bellamy shakes his head. "She had work. It's probably best if she doesn't come tonight anyways. This is already gonna be dramatic enough without her adding to it."

Raven scoffs, and Bellamy looks at her confused.

"What?" He asks.

Raven shrugs, "Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Obviously it's something." Bellamy pushes.

Jasper is the one to speak up this time, pointing out what is painfully obvious to everyone.

"You don't love her, yet you stay? Why? I mean you know we all kinda sorta really hate her. So it's not like there are any attachments. So why stay and make yourself miserable?"

Jasper makes a good point, but they all know why he stays. Why he won't let himself find anything more.

Suddenly, the bar door opens and Clarke walks in.

Bellamy feels like the air was pushed out of his lungs at how utterly beautiful she looked. She had on a light peach dress, and her hair fell just above her shoulders. Bellamy could tell she was nervous by the way she carried herself. It's funny, how even after four years he can still read her so well. Like nothing changed at all. However, the harsh reminder that everything really did change followed her into the bar. Wells. Bellamy's jaw clenched at the sight of the other man, and that's when Clarke noticed him.

Instead of her seeing his face filled with awe, she sees the face of a hurt, angry man. Bellamy composed himself and motioned for them to come to the booth.

"Hey guys." Clarke breathes nervously, shifting from one foot to the other.

"Hi Clarke." Bellamy says, motioning to the two empty seats across from him.

They both sit down, and an awkward silence fills the room for a moment.

"So, how is everyone?" Wells asks, and Bellamy fights the urge to roll his eyes. It's not like Wells is doing anything wrong, but the mere presence of him just pisses Bellamy off.

"What do you think?" Octavia snaps, and Lincoln gives her a look.

"Octavia we talked about this..." he whispers softly.

"Sorry... we're doing okay I guess. I work part time at a karate studio, I'm studying to become a physical therapist." She says proudly.

"Really? That's amazing! When did you decide you wanted to go into that field?" Clarke asks, hopeful to start a conversation with her old best friend.

"Since I almost died in a motorcycle accident and needed one myself. But you wouldn't know that." Octavia replies coldly.

"I— Octavia I'm so sorry." Clarke says, looking between both Octavia and Bellamy. She should have been there. She should have been there while her best friend recovered, while her soulmate was worried for his sister.

"It's not like I got the worst of it. Raven is in a leg brace permanently because of it."

Clarke's eyes snap to Ravens. "You were in it too?"

Raven looks at Clarke before hesitantly responding.

"Yeah. Can't feel anything below the knee." She says, pulling her braced leg from under the table to show Clarke.

"Guys, maybe we should keep the conversation light, not talk about this kind of stuff?" Bellamy asks, trying to steer the conversation away from what he knows won't end well.

Clarke looks at him and smiles softly. "Thank you."

Bellamy's heart races, "it's not a problem." He responds, and then Octavia snaps.

"You know what? I can't do this. It is a fucking problem. _You_ left Clarke. You left and everyone's lives fell apart. Do you even realize the pain you put Bellamy through? Without so much as a goodbye?"

"Octavia I did—,"

"No! I need to leave. Let's go Lincoln." Octavia says, grabbing her boyfriend's hand and leaving the bar.

Clarke sighs and stands, "This was a bad idea... I should probably get going."

Raven scoffs, "you'd know all about leaving, wouldn't you?"

"I don't want to make things worse..." Clarke says sadly.

"Should have thought of that before coming back." Jasper mutters under his breath.

Wells stands up, "That's enough!" He bellows. Bellamy sits there stunned. He feels like he can't breathe, too many emotions running through him, the worst of it being the pain he feels looking at Clarke's broken face.

Clarke sits there, tears pooling in her eyes.

"Does anyone else have anything to say?" She asks suddenly.

"Clarke—,"

"No wells! There's obviously things that need to be said, so fucking say them!"

"I think you're a bitch for what you did," Murphy responds, shrugging, "but I've done some pretty fucked up things too. I can't say that I'm better than you because I'm not. But I know it's gonna take a long time for anyone to even consider forgiving you."

"Murphy!" Bellamy roars, but Clarke cuts him off.

"No it's fine. I don't even know why you're defending me right now. Octavia said it herself, I hurt you most." Clarke swallows thickly, looking to be on the verge of a complete mental breakdown.

"Hey, Clarke? Can you go get me a drink?" Wells asks, sensing his friend needs to leave the table for a moment.

"Yeah," she replies quietly, sliding out of her chair and heading to the bar to get Wells his usual. "Can I have a charred orange margarita?" The bartender gets to work making Wells' margarita and Clarke thinks about how coming back was a bad idea. What did she expect? Everyone to welcome her back with open arms? A smile? Bellamy to just drop whatever he had been doing for the past four years for her?

She was foolish to think that happiness was possible. Especially for her.

She's ripped out of her thoughts when someone bumps into her.

"Sorry," she mumbles as the bartender hands her a drink.

"It's no problem," the man replies. She freezes, the voice being one of her nightmares. She watches the man's retreating figure, staring intently. He finally turns to where she can catch his side profile.

_No. It can't be. It can't be him._

She rushes back to the table, her hand shaking so badly that half of Wells' drink is gone by the time she sets it down. Wells looks up at his friend, worried.

"Clarke? Are you okay?" Clarke opens her mouth to lie, to say that nothing's wrong, but she can't. Her throat closes, the room becoming hotter and smaller than when she walked in. Not being able to stand there any longer, she bolts out of the bar. Bellamy watches her go, standing as soon as she's out the door. He turns to his friends, glaring.

"We talked about this yesterday! Did you all have to be assholes? How is it that she broke _my_ heart and I'm the only one willing to hear her out?" With that, Bellamy takes off after Clarke.

"It's cause he's the one blinded by love-"

"Shut the fuck up!" Wells snaps. He stands, knocking over everyone's drinks. They all look up at him in shock. "Do you have _any_ idea what she did to save you all? Why she even left? Your lives were being threatened, you fucking dickheads! She gave up all aspects of her life, her freedom, to save you all."

"Now hold on-"

"No, you shut the fuck up, John. You've talked enough. You've all talked enough. It's my turn. Did you really think she would just get up and leave, saying goodbye with nothing but a rushed note, let alone leave you all in the first place? Or did you know and you just didn't care? She gave up her freedom so you ungrateful bastards could breathe. She's more than any of you deserve. You are all horrible people to Clarke when she's done nothing but be selfless and kind to you. Well, I've had enough. After tonight, I don't want any of you to talk to her. I don't want any of you to look at her, let alone breathe in her direction. You've done enough damage already."

Monty, Miller, Jasper, Raven, and Murphy stare at him in shock. Wells ignores them and slams $80 on the table.

"Here's money for your precious time," he seethes. He turns away to walk out and get Clarke, but runs into a flustered Bellamy. "Where's Clarke?"

"I-" A text message rings through, pulling Wells' attention away from Bellamy.

_Thank you for everything. I love you. -Little Griff Griff_

۵༄❆


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is connected to last chapter, it shows what happened when Bellamy ran after Clarke :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank everyone that has been leaving such kind comments on my book!! It motivates me to keep publishing, and keep writing. Thank you all so much for the support!

۵༄❆

" ** _Clarke_**!" Bellamy calls after her, looking around the outside of the bar for her familiar blonde hair. He sees her, leaning against the wall, breathing heavily.

He approaches her slowly, hesitant to bother her, but as he gets closer he sees that there are tears pouring out of her eyes.

"Clarke—,"

Her eyes snap up to his, and she starts to cry even harder, her breathing shaking.

"Be—Bellamy I'm sorry—I... Im sorry!" She tries to get out, she slides down the wall sobbing uncontrollably now.

Bellamy rushes to her side, "Hey, hey, Clarke shhh it's okay just breathe." Clarke's eyes look into his as she tries to breathe like he tells her to.

"That's good in and out." He says, rubbing her arms.

"God why— why is my life so fucking hard ." Clarke says, starting to get worked up again.

"Clarke—,"

"Why is he here?? God— oh my god I can't—," She starts shaking again, more violently this time, and Bellamy feels his heart start to constrict.

"Clarke—,"

"God pointless letters— it meant nothing— you don't— you don't love me I'm so fucking stupid I can't—,"

What is she talking about? Who is here? What does she mean he doesn't love her? Why would she even care?

Her breathing starts to stutter and the tears are uncontrollable, and Bellamy has an urge to do something he knows he probably shouldn't, but her crying this way; reminding him of the times he used to help her through her panic, pushed all thoughts of doubt out of his mind.

"Clarke— please just breathe..." he tries one more time.

Clarke shakes her head vigorously, and this pushes Bellamy to go forward with his plan.

Bellamy cups the sides of Clarke's face, looks into her eyes, and crashes his lips to hers. He kisses her, trying to convey that she is important, trying to help her find peace. Clarke tenses at first, but then she melts into the kiss, her shaking body starting to calm down, as her lips start to press back against his. Her hand comes up to tangle in his hair, and Bellamy's eyes shoot open, finally realizing what he's doing. He sees Clarke, her eyes closed, and her face looking peaceful while she kisses him. Kissing Clarke feels so right, like his heart is finally whole... but this is wrong. Doing it this way is wrong. He shouldn't be doing this.

He pulls away abruptly and stands up, running his fingers through his hair. He meets Clarke's gaze and she looks at him, hopeful.

"Shit! I shouldn't have done that.. god I'm sorry." Bellamy says, freaking out slightly.

Clarke deflates, "you... you shouldn't have done that?"

"No! Clarke— I have a girlfriend, I fucking spent four years with her, trying to move on! Trying to get over how much you hurt me! And the second you come back I just forget that there are other people involved? This isn't about just you and me!"

"Bellamy... do you not love me?" She asks.

"What?! What the fuck Clarke? You left me! You told me you didn't love me anymore! And now all this sudden you come back and you ask me if I still love you?" Bellamy starts pacing as he feels like everything around him is falling apart. He looks at Clarke and sees her eyes filling with tears again.

"Clarke— I'm sorry. I don't want you to cry. I— I need to go." He says, turning around and leaving Clarke.

_________

Clarke watches him walk away, and she wonders if this is what it felt like for him... watching the person you love walk away from you.

Clarke stands up, and starts walking towards the last place she was actually happy, hoping he wouldn't be there too.

Everyone hates her.

Her mother...

Her best friends...

The love of her life...

What's the point in anything anymore, when your world is empty? She makes her choice in that moment, ready for the pain to just end. She pulls out her phone and types out a text.

_________

When Bellamy comes back to the bar, he walks in and sees everyone's shocked faces, and Wells looks outraged.

"Where's Clarke?" Wells asks him, sounding angry, and Bellamy looks at Wells flustered.

"I—," he gets cut off by the sound of Wells' phone going off. He watches as Wells reads the text, and sees a million different emotions crossing his face, until it settles on rage.

What's wro-" Bellamy is cut off when Wells connects his fist with Bellamy's jaw. Bellamy stumbles back in shock, holding his jaw. Murphy and Miller hold Wells back from throwing another.

"This is all your fault! If you hadn't been such a dick and understood why she left instead of reading the letters and moving on with that bitch then-"

"What god damn letters?" Bellamy exclaims, tired of people talking about shit he's never read or heard of.

"The letter she left you!"

"I read that one! The one that broke my heart!"

"Not that one, Blake! The one explaining everything! The one she fucking left with your new girlfriend!" Wells shouts, and Bellamy stands there, confusion taking over his emotions.

"What are you talking about?"

"She ran to your house that night to give you a letter! But you weren't there so she left it with Echo!"

Bellamy stands there stunned.

"Let me go! I need to find Clarke!" Wells shouts, ripping out of Miller and Murphy's grasp before taking off down the street, shouting Clarke's name.

"What does he mean? Where is clarke?" Bellamy asks frantically.

Miller looks at him sadly, "Clarke messaged him saying something concerning... He scared she's gonna do something stupid, he scared she might hurt herself."

Bellamy feels all of the air leave his lungs. No. No no no he was just with her. Fuck... he can't let that be the last things that he ever says to her. Wells said she gave a letter to Echo? He never got a letter, he feels like he can't breathe.

"We need to find her!" He cries out, his heart racing.

"I just called Octavia, she's gonna look for her too." Raven says, "Bellamy we're gonna find her—,"

"You better hope so! Unless you're okay with the last things you ever say to her being horrible!" Bellamy bites back, and runs out of the bar in search of Clarke.

۵༄❆


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// This chapter includes some very serious subjects. I’m putting the trigger warnings at the end of the chapter to avoid spoilers, but if you are nervous about it please go read the warnings before this chapter.

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy runs frantically through town**_ , trying to figure out where Clarke would go. He can't stop the tears from falling down his face. He's terrified. Terrified of losing her again. What will he do if she's gone for good?

He knew he never stopped loving her. But now he has this aching feeling in his chest that tells him he was wrong all those years. She loved him too. She still does. Wells told him she wrote him a letter, and that she gave it to Echo. He said there were many letters... how could Echo not give it to him?

He felt rage that was deeper than anything he's ever felt before. Once he knows Clarke is safe, he will make sure Echo knows he's done with her. He doesn't care about anything but Clarke.

He doesn't care that she left, that she was with Wells. He doesn't know everything, but he doesn't care. He just wants Clarke. Needs her.

Bellamy searches all over for her. He visits all of her favorite places, even goes to her old house hoping she would have returned there, but he has no luck. He starts walking back to his house, hoping that he can think of somewhere else she might be, when he sees a figure by the lake. One he would recognize anywhere.

"Clarke..."

_____________

Clarke's mind races, all of the memories she's tried so hard to suppress from that night pounding around in her skull. Luckily, Wells was there to stop it. Seeing Cage, even if it was just a hallucination haunted Clarke to her very core. Then Bellamy. Perfect wonderful Bellamy, leaving her after kissing her. Solidifying her fear that he doesn't want her anymore. She takes out her phone and sends a quick text to Wells. She wants him to know how thankful she is for him.

She stands on the shore behind the Blakes house, staring out at the dark water in the lake. She listens to the sounds of the water rippling. Small waves hitting the sandy shore, a gentle but harsh sound.

"Well, I thought it would be harder to get to you," a voice sounds from behind her. She whips around, a figure faintly illuminated by the solar porch lights. He steps a little closer and her stomach lurches.

"Cage," she breathes, stepping backwards. Cage's smile is the only clear feature she can make out perfectly.

That smile haunts her nightmares.

"I'll say, after Jaha got locked up, I didn't think I'd see you again. But when he got a message to me telling me where I could find you, I was ecstatic." He looks Clarke up and down, slightly disappointed. "Although, you do look sickly. No matter. I'm sure everything works the same way."

"How— how did you find me here?" Clarke asks.

"When I saw you at the bar I stayed close behind. Saw you walk all the way here."

Cage inches closer to her and Clarke thinks about running. How she can get out of this alive and relatively unharmed. How she can survive.

Her mind screeches to a halt.

Survive. After everything, after all the pain and suffering she had been through for the past four years, does she want to fight anymore? After being turned away by her friends, her soulmate, does she want to survive?

As Cage creeps closer, so does her decision.

She doesn't care what happens now. She has no dignity. No life.

She has nothing left to fight for.

So why fight?

Cage finally reaches her and pushes her into the coarse sand. Tiny rocks dig into her palms as she lands on her hands. She sits there, waiting for Cage's next move.

"I've waited a long time for this, Clarke."

He beats her, but she feels nothing.

He does so many unspeakable things, but still, she feels nothing.

You can't feel anything without a heart.

Once Cage is done, he quickly dresses himself and looks down at Clarke's battered body in pride.

Then, he does something that surprises Clarke. He takes out a gun and drops it on the ground next to her.

"Do with it what you want. You could kill me, but I don't think I'm the person you really wanna kill." And with that, he walks off into the night, leaving Clarke naked and completely broken. After he got what he wanted from her, he left her too.

Clarke watches the waves lap at her feet in a daze. Cage is right. She wants to kill him. God, does she want to kill him, but...

she wants to kill herself more. 

She hates herself more than she'll ever hate anyone. Clarke weakly reaches for her phone that was discarded with her jeans. She unlocks it, opens her texts, and begins writing.

_Bellamy,_

_By the time you get this, if you even get this, I'll be dead. There's nothing here for me anymore. I left everything and everyone Ive ever loved four years ago. Even though I'm back, I know I can't make it right. Tonight proved that._

_You deserve so much better than me, Bellamy. You deserve the world. I'm sorry for everything. I know I'm a horrible person. I promised myself I'd never hurt you, and that's exactly what I did. I'll never forgive myself for it._

_I've been a shell of a person for almost four years now. I was dead before I even pulled the trigger, so don't mourn too much. If at all._

_If you read the letter I gave to Echo to give to you before I left, I hope you understand why I did what I did. I had to protect you. I have to protect Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Raven, Lincoln, Miller, and Murphy._

_I hope you get everything you want in life, Bellamy. You deserve everything and more._

_Forever yours,_

_Clarke_

She hits send and tosses her phone into the lake and waits for tears to come, for any sort of grief of what she may be leaving behind, but nothing comes.

Because she's not leaving anything behind. No one will care.

Standing on the edge of the lake, Clarke looks out at everything around her. She never realized just how beautiful Arkadia was. She hopes that more people will realize its beauty.

She thinks back to everything she's ever experienced here. Meeting the best friends she would ever have, spending hours upon hours drawing and swimming in this lake. Meeting the love of her life... losing the love of her life.

Clarke has lost everything and everyone she's ever loved. What's the point in staying alive in a world where no one loves you? Clarke picks up the gun, and kneels on the floor; breathing in the scent of the lake one last time, before putting the gun to her head, and closing her eyes...

She puts her finger on the trigger—

"CLARKE!" A voice bellows in the darkness. Clarke freezes.

That voice.

No, it can't be. It's a defense mechanism to trick her into believing there's still hope.

"Clarke, put down the gun." Clarke lowers the gun enough to turn around. She lets out a cry when her eyes meet Bellamy's beautiful, frantic ones.

"Bellamy?" She whispers.

"Yeah, it's me," he assures, his voice breaking at the sight of her. Her bruised and battered body, her clothes ripped and scattered on the sand, the gun clutched tightly in her hand. "Put down the gun. We'll go get you warm and some help, okay? I'll-"

"NO!" Clarke screams, her voice breaking. Tears finally fall, her whole world spinning faster than she can bear. "Don't do that. Don't give me hope."

Bellamy's heart breaks at her words, remembering what he said to Octavia four years ago.

" _No. Stop trying to give me fucking hope."_

"Clarke, please. Please put down the gun. Don't- don't leave me. Not again. Not forever. I just got you back," he pleads, tears falling from his eyes faster than he can wipe them away.

Clarke studies him through her blurry vision. Sure, he looks distraught, but he can't possibly care about her. He hates her for fuck's sake.

Right?

"Clarke, please. I'm begging you. Don't do this."

"Why do you care? You hate me. If I'm gone, it won't mean shit to you or anyone else," Clarke cries.

"I fucking love you, Clarke Griffin. God, I never stopped," he pauses, "Wells told me about letters? I never got any letters Clarke— Princess I swear if I did... please just don't do this Clarke. Stay with me!"

They're both crying now, Clarke wanting desperately to believe him and Bellamy desperately wanting Clarke believe him.

He can't lose her. Not again.

"Please, Princess. _Please_."

Clarke's hand shakes and she drops the gun. She hunches over and starts to hyperventilate. Bellamy wastes no time in pulling her to him. He takes off his jacket and covers her as best he can.

"I'm gonna get you help, baby. I promise. I love you. I love you so much."

He looks over Clarke's body, tears falling from his eyes as he sees the blood.

There's so much blood...

"I'm gonna get you to a hospital okay?" Bellamy says, his voice cracking.

He picks her up, and her body feels limp.

"Clarke?" He calls, but she doesn't answer.

His heart stops. He needs to get her to a hospital now. He can't lose her. He won't. He will find out who did this to her, and he's gonna kill them.

۵༄❆

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW// Rape  
> TW// Attempted suicide


	22. Chapter Twenty- Two

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy bursts through the doors**_ at Arkadia memorial hospital, holding an unconscious Clarke in his arms. Tears and sweat mix on his face, and his body is shaking with fear and sadness.

"Help! Please someone help!" Bellamy shouts, and a group of doctors come running to him, Jackson included; bringing a Gurnee for Clarke to lay down on.

"What happened?" Jackson asks frantically, his eyes widening when he sees Clarke lying there.

"I— I don't know! I was looking for her all over, and then I saw her... she was holding a gun to her head... and I stopped her but something had to have happened before I got there because there's just so much blood. Please Jackson don't let her die... I can't lose her." Bellamy cries out, tears falling down her face.

"We're going to do everything we can. Chances are her body shut down due to the trauma. Just try to stay calm Bellamy. Is there anyone you can call for her?" He asks.

Bellamy nods, "yeah, yeah I can call Wells. He's the only one that deserves to be here right now."

"Please call Nate too... you need someone here for you Bellamy."

"Okay. Fine I'll call him." Bellamy says, as he watches the doctors take Clarke into an emergency room. His heart feels like it's falling out of his chest.

"Please don't leave me clarke." He whispers to himself, as he pulls out his phone. His heart sinks even further when he sees a text from Clarke... the contact name he couldn't bring himself to change after all these years.

**[11:45 p.m]**

**My princess 👑:**

_Bellamy,_

_By the time you get this, if you even get this, I'll be dead. There's nothing here for me anymore. I left everything and everyone Ive ever loved four years ago. Even though I'm back, I know I can't make it right. Tonight proved that._

_You deserve so much better than me, Bellamy. You deserve the world. I'm sorry for everything. I know I'm a horrible person. I promised myself I'd never hurt you, and that's exactly what I did. I'll never forgive myself for it._

_I've been a shell of a person for almost four years now. I was dead before I even pulled the trigger, so don't mourn too much. If at all._

_If you read the letter I gave to Echo to give to you before I left, I hope you understand why I did what I did. I had to protect you. I have to protect Octavia, Jasper, Monty, Raven, Lincoln, Miller, and Murphy._

_I hope you get everything you want in life, Bellamy. You deserve everything and more._

_Forever yours,_

_Clarke_

Bellamy finished reading the text and collapsed on the floor with sobs that took over his whole body. His beautiful girl, his princess... he hates himself for how he's felt the past four years. Thinking she abandoned him when there was more to the story. He should have known. Bellamy stands and calls Wells.

"Bellamy!? Did you find her??" A frantic Wells sounds.

"Yes... please come to Arkadia memorial... I'll explain everything when you get here. Wells please hurry—," Bellamy says, his voice breaking.

Wells can sense the pain in Bellamy's voice, "is she alive?" He asks.

"Yes, but she's hurt. Something happened to her. There's more but I'd rather not explain that over the phone."

Wells assures Bellamy he will be there shortly and hangs up.

Suddenly, his group of friends burst through the doors.

"Bellamy, Jackson called me. He said he figured you'd forget." Miller says, as he approaches Bellamy.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?!" Bellamy snaps, looking at everyone else behind Miller.

"Bellamy... we needed to see if she was okay..." Raven starts, and Bellamy snaps.

"Now you care?! NOW YOU FUCKING CARE? When she's alive and well in front of you, you treat her like shit but when she's hurt and almost fucking killed herself now you wanna be best friends with her again??" Bellamy bellows.

"She— she what?" Octavia asks behind Raven.

"I caught her with a gun to her head. She sent me this text before she tried to kill herself." Bellamy says tossing his phone to his sister. "Something else happened to her too, I don't know what."

Octavia reads the text, tears filling her eyes.

"Oh my god—,"

"Yeah I'm surprised you're crying right now O. Weren't you the one telling her you wished she didn't come back? That she ruined everyone's lives?" Bellamy remarks.

Lincoln steps forward, "look that's enough. I think you need to go cool off..."

Bellamy glares at him, "she was your friend too Lincoln. You know her. Hell, we ALL know her but we assumed the worst. I'm going to figure out what happened to her. None of you even deserve to fucking be here after the shit you pulled." Bellamy snaps, walking away towards the other end of the hospital.

He doesn't know where he's going, but the next thing he knows he's bumping into someone coming out of a hospital room.

"Abby?" Bellamy says when he sees the person he collided with.

"Fucking again. What are you doing here? You aren't family, you don't need to see him." Abby snaps.

"What are you talking about?! I'm here because your fucking daughter is here! Not like you even care."

"Clarke is here? Why? How is she even here? Stupid girl is going to get herself killed!" She yells.

"What?!"

"If he finds out she left..."

"Who?"

"Nevermind. I assume she's here to see Marcus?" Abby deflects.

"Marcus? What is he doing here?" Bellamy asks, confused.

"He's been in a coma for four years. You can thank Clarke for that!" Abby snarls.

At that, Bellamy snaps. "You know what Abby? Whatever happened to Marcus is not on Clarke! She was a 16 year old girl for fucks sake! I don't know what happened, but what I do know, is you're a fucking piece of shit mother! Clarke deserves better than you, and when she wakes up I'm gonna make damn sure she knows it!"

Abby stands there stunned. "When she wakes up?"

"Yep. When she wakes up, because currently she's being worked on because something happened to her; she got really badly hurt, and then she tried to kill herself. Your daughter tried to kill herself Abby! When are you going to snap out of this and realize that she's your child?!" Bellamy yelled, "I'm done with this conversation. You don't deserve her either."

And Bellamy walks off, needing to go check on Clarke.

When he gets back to the waiting room, he sees that Wells finally got there.

"Bellamy... they filled me in on what happened. We're waiting for Jackson to come back and update us on her condition." Wells said with a teary expression.

"I just ran into Abby... Marcus is in a coma?" Bellamy asked.

Wells just nodded sadly. "It happened the day of your graduation. My father put Marcus in a coma to insure Clarke's compliance."

Bellamy's eyes widened. "What?!"

"Clarke wrote about everything that happened in the box of letters she mailed here before we arrived. Maybe you should read those again!" Wells snapped.

"I never got any letters Wells! Don't you think if I did, I would have waited for her? For fucks sake I've been in love with her this entire time! I never fucking stopped. If I knew—,"

"You're telling the truth. I can tell. I've gotten really good at figuring out people's bullshit the past four years." Wells says.

"I just want her to be okay. Wells... I've never been more scared in my entire life. I know you love her—,"

"As a sister. I just felt the need to clarify with you; that we were never together. Once you read the letters you'll understand."

Bellamy ponders for a moment. "You said she mailed the box here before you left to come here?"

Wells nods.

Bellamy grows even more angry because he knows exactly what happened to those letters. He thinks back to the day he asked Echo to grab his mail. He should have known.

Just then, Jackson walks into the waiting room, and everyone stands up frantic. Bellamy looks around and resists the urge to roll his eyes at the people who are only there now that she is hurt. He knows he isn't innocent. He knows he hurt Clarke too, but at least he never said life was better without her... because that wouldn't be true.

Life without Clarke Griffin isn't a life worth living.

"She's awake. She passed out from shock and the trauma. Bellamy, Wells, can you step to the side with me for a moment?"

They walk off to a corner, and Jackson looks at them sadly.

"I need to discuss something with the two of you."

"What is it?" Wells asks, and Bellamy feels his heart rate speed up.

"As you both know; especially Bellamy since you found her, there were obvious signs of physical assault... but when we were looking her over we found— she was raped..."

Bellamy felt like his world crashed down. There was a ringing in his ears, and he couldn't see anything.

This was all his fault. He left her after kissing her. He left her all alone, and it's his fault she ran away from the bar. He didn't find her in time.

"This is all my fault..." Bellamy chokes out before sinking to the floor on his knees.

۵༄❆


	23. Chapter Twenty- Three

۵༄❆

" _ **It's all my fault.**_ " Bellamy says again, his head in his hands.

"Bellamy, don't say that—"

"I don't deserve her either... all night I've been screaming at everyone when I should have been saying those things to myself too. I hurt Clarke too. I kissed her when we were outside you know. I kissed her and then I left because I freaked out! I fucking left her and she got hurt!" Bellamy says freaking out.

"Look. What you did was fucked up, but you aren't the person that did this to her! We will find out who did this and we will bring them down! We brought down my dad. We can do it to whoever did this too!" Wells exclaims.

Bellamy looks at him with wide eyes. "I need to know everything, Wells. I have to go."

"What? Where are you going??" Wells asks.

"I need to handle something. Something that should have never happened in the first place. I'm sure Clarke doesn't want to see me yet anyway..."

"Bellamy all Clarke wanted to do— all she wants to do is be with you."

"I want that too. But I can't until I know the truth. I need to do this Wells." Bellamy pleads.

"Okay. Go. I'll make sure she knows that you are going to come back. You are coming back, right?"

"I will always come back to her Wells, always." Bellamy responds.

The two men share a look, and Bellamy heads out; ignoring everyone's questions as he goes.

* * *

Bellamy pulls into the driveway of Echos house and tries to steady himself. He knows he never loved Echo, but things like this were always hard for him. But if Bellamy is being honest with himself, he doesn't really care all that much. Echo stole something from him. Not just the letters; but the future that came with them. The promise of a forever with Clarke. She took years of happiness away from him, hope.

Bellamy gets out of the car and walks up to her door. Taking a deep breath, he knocks loudly.

Echo opens the door, a surprised expression on her face. "Hey bella—,"

He pushes past her and cuts her off. "Where are they?!"

Echo furrows her brow at him. "Where is what?"

"The letters Echo. ALL of them. I know Clarke wrote to me, and I know she gave you a letter the day she left. Where the fuck are they?"

Echo stands there with a nervous attitude. "I— Bellamy, she's lying to you. She lied to you before she's lying now."

Bellamy scoffs, "that's funny considering she isn't even the one who told me about the letters. Stop lying Echo it's not a good look on you. Give me the letters."

Echo snaps, "What is so fucking special about Clarke that makes you want to be her fucking bitch Bellamy?! This is why I had to make sure she knew you were mine when I saw her pull in front of the house—,"

"You what?? Okay, first off I am not yours Echo. I think you know deep down I never was! Secondly, Clarke is everything I've ever wanted. She always was; even when I was pretending to hate her because I couldn't deal with how she made me feel. She is everything to me, always has been and always will be.Lastly, I'm a grown ass man, and I can make my own damn choices! You know what I choose??" Bellamy bellows.

"What?"

"I choose to end this 'relationship', and you can deal with that. Now give me what's mine!"

Echo stomps away and comes back with a box, and a letter in her hand. "I should have thrown this shit away!"

Bellamy doesn't even acknowledge her, he just turns and walks away, ignoring Echo's comments and shouting.

* * *

Bellamy brings the box of letters to his room, and sits on his bed. He's nervous, he hopes it's not too late. He wishes he would have fought harder for her all those years ago. He should have known better.

He picks up the letter that was separated from the rest. He took a deep breath, and started to read.

* * *

_Bellamy,_

_First let me start out by saying that I never meant to hurt you._

_God that was the last thing I ever wanted to do. Loving you, is something that would never just end. I love you more and more each day. There is no way that I could ever stop._

_You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. Meeting you was the one thing that made me realize that living here wouldn't be as bad as I thought it would be. I was an eleven year old girl, that felt like the entire world was against her; and hey, maybe it is, but the world did me one favor, and that favor was you._

_Even though you were kind of a jerk, you had the biggest heart. Everything you did, you did to protect your sister. Other people might not have seen that, but I always did. I always will. I never wanted to break your heart, but I knew if I didn't you would follow me. You wouldn't let me protect you._

_I know none of this is going to make any sense to you. I don't expect it to. But everything I'm doing is to keep you safe. I can't lose you too. You're too important to me. You're the love of my life Bellamy Blake. No one has ever, nor will anyone ever compare to you. I'm going to try my best to make my way back to you. I won't stop until I can finally be in your arms again. But I need you to be safe. So I'm leaving. I need you to promise me you won't follow me._

_I know that there is no possible way that you can contact me after you read this, but I still need to believe that you made this promise to me. Don't come for me... just know that I'm fighting everyday to find my way back to you my love._

_I'll love you for eons, Bellamy Blake._

_Yours forever,_

_Clarke._

* * *

Bellamy stares down at the letter, not realizing he's crying until a few stray tears drop down onto the paper. With shaking hands, he reaches into the box to read another.

* * *

_Bellamy,_

_It's been three months. God I never thought this is where my life would be right now. I assumed I'd be lying on a beach vacationing in Florida by now. You remember when we said we would do that after you graduated? God I wish we could have done that._

_There are so many things I wish that I could do with you. I hate that the last time I saw your perfect face, was me breaking your heart. God I hate everything Bell._

_I hope when I come home things will be better. They have to be better. Right?_

_Anyways; I should probably wrap up this letter now. I miss you Bell._

_With love,_

_Clarke._

* * *

He keeps reading the letters. Laughing with some, crying with others. Each letter Clarke seemed to become sadder. With each passing month, his strong girl grew weaker.

* * *

_Bellamy,_

_It's been three hundred days since I left. I hope to god you read the letter I left with Echo because it explains everything you need to know. Everyday I'm fighting to come back to you, but things aren't looking good. All you need to know is that I love you. I love you so much and that has never and will never change. Everything I said to you on your front porch is a lie, but I'm sure you know that. At least, if you read the letter._

_The funny thing is, all of these letters rely on you reading the only one you're ever going to get from me._

_I don't know what I'm going to do with these letters when I'm done. Maybe throw them out, shred them. Or maybe I'll give them to you. But only the happy ones because we don't need any more sadness in our lives after being separated for so long._

_I'll see you soon, Bell._

_Forever yours,_

_Clarke_

* * *

He wipes at the tears that keep coming until he gets to one letter. His princess had to have been drunk writing it because it barely makes any sense. These were moments he missed out on, and he hates himself for it.

* * *

_Belmy,_

_Helooooo belmy._

_I decide to get kinda drinking with Wells. 'M a little sad, no lot sad cause I miss you._

_Jaha made me sell drug today. It was the worst, but not the worst ever. The worst ever was leving you._

_I miss your curls. God you got the best hair._

_I think im gona call you curls now. Okay?_

_I love you curls_

_Love,_

_princess._

* * *

Bellamy can't figure out whether to be happy or angry with this letter. She's so adorable, and his heart soared at her calling him curls. But the things Jaha made her do...

The letter that hurt him the most was the letter talking about someone named 'Cage Wallace'. Jaha forced her to expose himself to him... who does that to a young girl?! If Jaha wasn't already in prison sentenced to death, Bellamy would kill him himself.

He read the rest of the letters, his heart breaking more with each one.

While she was protecting everyone, killing herself from the inside out trying to fight her way back to him, he was fucking Echo, and trying to forget her.

He's going to make this right. He has to. She's the love of his life.

۵༄❆


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

۵༄❆

_**Clarke's eyes fluttered open**_ as she took in the room around her. White walls, machines all around her; beeping as she follows the wires to her skin, where an IV is in her right arm.

For a moment she wonders how she got here, then she remembers... Cage, the lake, the gun... Bellamy.

Where is he? She needs him. God she needs him.

"Bell— Bellamy?" She whispers softly.

She sees movement in the corner of her eye, and her heart flutters momentarily before she realizes who it is.

"Clarke... hey. God I'm so glad you're awake." Wells says, coming up to her.

"Wells... where's Bell— Bellamy? Where is he?" Clarke croaks out.

"He.. he left. He's coming back though Clarke I promise—,"

"He left me again..."

"Clarke no he's coming back. He said he needed to know the truth—,"

"He knows... he knows and he kissed me and he left me. Then he saved me just to leave me again." Clarke interrupts.

"No Clarke—,"

"Just go please..." she says sadly.

"But Clarke—,"

"GO! Just— I'm sorry I just need to be alone please."

Wells nods slowly. "Okay, okay. I'll be right outside okay?"

"Okay..." Clarke says as she watches Wells walk out of the room. She closes her eyes, and wills the tears not to fall.

* * *

Bellamy rushes back to the hospital so he can see Clarke. He needs to be with Clarke.

"Bellamy where the hell have you been?!" Octavia calls out to him when he gets inside the hospital.

Bellamy stops in his tracks, and looks at his sister, rage boiling over.

"And you care, why? Why the fuck do you care? Why are you even here? Why are any of you here? Leave," he says, his voice getting louder.

"Bellamy-"

"I SAID LEAVE!" He bellows. The hospital goes quiet as everyone looks at him in shock. Wells comes down the hallway, looking around for the disturbance.

"Bellamy, Clarke's awake," he informs. Bellamy's heart simultaneously soars and drops. He turns back to the others, glaring.

"I know I have no right being here either, but at least I didn't give her shit. If any of you are here when I come back out, I'm going to lose my shit."

They all look at Bellamy, guilt eating away at them.

Bellamy approaches Wells, "I need to see her... please let me see her."

Wells looks at Bellamy sadly, "She kicked me out. I don't think she wants to see anyone right now."

Bellamy looks at Wells, anguish written all over his face. "Please Wells I— I need to tell her I understand now. That I'm sorry... please just let me see my princess..."

Wells considers Bellamy, and eventually nods, leading Bellamy to her room.

Before Bellamy could walk in, Wells grabs his arm.

"Hey man, before you go in there... I feel like I need you to be prepared."

"Prepared?"

"Clarke's... she's hurt. The only thing she could say when I was in there was that you left her. She's broken, she isn't herself right now. Just wanna make sure you're aware."

Bellamy nods slowly, "Clarke's perfect. She's been through hell, and she's so fucking strong. I want her to know that I'm here. She doesn't need to be alone."

Wells smiles slightly, "you really love her, don't you?"

"I never stopped. Even when I thought she left me for you... I— I always loved her."

"Well she's definitely gonna need to know that. Just be patient with her, okay?"

"Always."

* * *

Bellamy walks into Clarke's room, looking at her fragile state, and his heart falls out of his chest. There's cuts and bruises littering her body. The bruises being the only sign of color on her pale body.

"Clarke?" Bellamy whispers, trying to draw her attention. Clarke stares blankly at the wall, not speaking. Bellamy kneels next to the bed and takes her hand. She doesn't pull her hand away, but she doesn't hold his hand, either. Bellamy swallows back tears.

He has to be strong for Clarke.

"Hey, Princess. How are you feeling?" Still nothing. "I'm so sorry. I read the letters. Echo kept them hidden. I'm so sorry, baby. I didn't— I didn't mean for everything to happen this way. I know everything. I'm so sorry you went through this... if I knew— god Clarke I should have fought harder for you. I should have known better." He says, choking back tears.

Clarke looks at him quickly, before settling her gaze back on the wall in front of her.

"When— when you left I wanted to die. I know that sounds dramatic but.. you were the only one that made me feel like I was worthy of loving. Then you left and I knew that you were too good for me. I managed to screw up the one thing that meant anything to me. To know that you left to protect me... you shouldn't have had to go through that alone. I know you had Wells, but— but I should have been the one to protect you."

A few tears fell down his face as he continued.

"Clarke— I should have kept you safe. From your mom... from Jaha, from the fucking person that did this to you. From Cage... When I read about that in the letter—,"

"Get out." Bellamy looks at her, shocked at her words.

"Wh—what?" He whispers, sounding broken.

"Get. Out." Bellamy tries to catch her eye, but she refuses to look at him. All he knows is that her eyes aren't sparking like they should. They're blank, broken.

"Princess _please_ don't push me away... please—,"

"You did that yourself." Clarke says, detached and void of emotion.

"I love you, Clarke. I never stopped. Even if you hate me now— which I deserve, I'll always love you." Bellamy says, as he stands up, looking at her again.

Hoping she will say something, anything to make him stay. But she doesn't. She doesn't want him here.

Bellamy nods, and wipes at the tears on his face.

"Okay... I'll be right outside. I'm not leaving you this time, baby. Never again."

۵༄❆


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy closes the door**_ of Clarke's room behind him, before sliding down on his knees as sobs rack his body. He knows she's hurting, that she went through something no one should have to go through, but he just wants her to know that he's here for her, that he won't leave her again.

This is all his fault.

Suddenly, Bellamy feels a hand on his shoulder. He looks up and he sees Wells, a look of sadness across his face. This only sets Bellamy off more, as he cries to someone he thought ruined his life... when in reality; he did this to himself. He should have never left Clarke that night... he would have been able to stop it.

Wells sits there in silence as Bellamy cries, trying to give Bellamy the comfort he needs...

* * *

Miller watches as Bellamy cries, wanting nothing more than to comfort his friend. However, he knows that won't do any good. Bellamy's pissed, and rightfully so. They treated Clarke like shit, after promising not to, and now that she's hurt they all feel guilty.

Clarke was their friend. Their best friend, and they acted as if she never existed in their lives. They should have known better.

"We fucked up." Miller says brokenly, turning around to his friends. "We really fucked up this time, and we need to make it right."

They all look at him, guilt eating away at them.

"I— I never wanted anything to happen to her... I just wanted— fuck, I just wanted her to see how much her leaving hurt us!" Raven cries out as she starts to cry into Murphy's shoulder.

"I think we all crossed a line. There's showing someone that they hurt you, and then there's what we did. We wanted to hurt her, and we did. She tried to kill herself tonight..." Miller says, trying to make everyone see how messed up this situation is.

Octavia comes back into the room after going to the restroom, and sees her brother crying.

"What— what happened?" She says as she starts to make her way to her brother. Miller grabs her arm before she can make it to him.

"He doesn't want to see any of us right now Octavia you know that. Clarke's alive, awake. I bet he feels guilty. But we need to give him his space, you know how mad at us he is."

"But he's my brother, I need to be there for him!" Octavia says, getting choked up.

"And you will," Miller sighed, "when he asks you to."

Octavia nods reluctantly and walks back to sit in her chair, with her head in her hands.

Miller walks up to Jackson, and rests his head on his chest, as Jackson rubs soothing circles on his back.

"I looked at Clarke's chart, she's going to be okay. She might need therapy, for the trauma. I want whoever did this to her to fucking rot." Jackson says, anger threading across his chest.

Miller nods, "But how will we find out—,"

He's interrupted by his phone ringing. Taking the phone out of his pocket, Miller's eyes go wide when he sees the name across his screen.

"Who is it, Nate?" Jackson asks.

"It's— it's my father..." Miller responds, accepting the call.

"Hel—hello?" Miller says into his phone, trying to control the emotions he's feeling at the moment.

"Son... I- I need to talk to you."

"So talk. Even though you've had ten years to do it." Miller responds.

"I deserved that. Hell, I don't even deserve this phone call. But... a few days ago someone opened my eyes to a lot of things."

Miller scoffs, "Oh yeah? Like what?"

"That I've been a terrible father. That I should have never left. I should have been more accepting of who you were as a person, rather than worry about what people would think."

Miller swallows the lump in his throat. "This person sounds pretty smart."

David chucked, "She was. Even though she was going through probably the scariest, most horrific of experiences, she still made the time to help me with my problems. I'm so sorry son... I want to make things right. I'm coming to Arkadia for a case, maybe we could grab some coffee while I'm there?"

Miller sighed, "i'd love that, but my friend Clarke is in the hospital right now... she was— someone raped her..."

There was a long pause on the other end of the phone.

"Dad?"

"Does— does your friend Clarke's last name happen to be Griffin?"

"Yes... why?"

"Oh my god... that's the girl I was talking about."

Miller's jaw drops, "What?" He asks brokenly.

"I probably shouldn't tell you this but... She came in, with loads of proof and evidence against Thelonious Jaha. The man killed her father when she was a kid, then forced her and his son to work for him. Made her leave her home and everything... Now I see that home was Arkadia. The things that man did to her... made her do, I've never seen anything so cruel."

Miller's heart drops, poor Clarke. God, did Bellamy know? Is that why he's crying so much?

"Dad... do you think Jaha was the one that raped her?"

"No. He's in jail, death row."

"Did he have any associates?"

David pauses before continuing at a much lower voice.

"We're coming to Arkadia in search of a man named Cage Wallace. Clarke mentioned that she had to do a few jobs that he was the client in. I don't know if it has any correlation but... I'm going to be there soon. Maybe try to get Clarke to give a statement?"

"Yeah... okay I can do that. I'll see you soon, dad."

Miller hangs up, and drags Jackson to his friends, before filling them in on everything his father just told him.

"Oh— oh my god." Octavia says as she begins to cry into Lincoln's arms.

Bellamy comes up to the group, Wells in tow.

"Bellamy... my dad just called me. You know how I said he's a cop in California?"

Wells cuts him off, "your dad is David Miller?"

Miller nods.

"We had a feeling when we saw the last name, but we thought it was too good to be true... that's the cop we went to, Bellamy."

Bellamy nods, "why did he call you?"

Miller looks at his friend before answering. Bellamy looked wrecked. His hair was a mess, his eyes were bloodshot, red rimmed. He looked like he could pass out at any given moment.

"He's coming to Arkadia. After telling me about Clarke, he said that one of Jaha's clients was last reported to be here. He said the name was Cage Wallace."

Bellamy and Wells exchange a look, both men look feral.

"Cage Wallace is _here_?" Wells asks, voice tight.

Miller nods slowly, unsure of what the two men know that he doesn't.

Bellamy suddenly turns around and walks back to Clarke's room. Wells follows after him, leaving the rest of them behind. Confused, sad, and nervous.

۵༄❆


	26. Twenty- Six

۵༄❆

_**Bellamy opens up the door** _to Clarke's room, and walks inside, Wells right beside him.

Clarke shoots her eyes up to the two men and glares.

"I thought I said to get out—,"

"Princess, I love you, but I need you to stop hating me for five seconds!" Bellamy blurts out, and Clarke's eyes widen at his outburst.

"Fuck I'm sorry just— okay, uh, Wells? Help?" Bellamy says, looking to Wells exasperated.

"Okay. Clarke, I know this might be hard to talk about but I need to know— we need to know, who did this to you?" Wells asks with shaking hands.

Clarke visablly gulps, and looks at the ceiling above her. "Cage."

Bellamy feels an overpowering anger run through his veins. That son of a bitch touched her, hurt her.

"Clarke... what happened?" Wells asks, tears in his eyes.

"He... he was at the bar. That's why I ran out. I was already in so much pain from what everyone was saying... then I saw him. I couldn't breathe." Clarke says, trying to fight back tears.

"When I went outside I guess he was going to follow me, but Bellamy came out instead. And when he left me there, Cage followed me to the lake."

Tears well up in Bellamy's eyes. He left her, and Cage found her.

"He... he said Jaha told him where I'd be, and then he started to... you know. And I couldn't get away, I couldn't stop him— so I just stopped fighting it."

The tears fall down Bellamy's face. His brave princess... giving up because of all she's been through. He should have been there.

"After he finished, he threw a gun on the floor and told me to use it. So I picked it up, and that's when Bellamy found me..."

Clarke chances a glance at Bellamy, and when she meets his stare her heart shatters. He looks broken, hurt. He looks like he's blaming himself. Like he always does whenever anything goes wrong.

Fuck. He's blaming himself for something that wasn't his fault. Yes, he left her after kissing her but... she left him first. He spent years thinking she didn't want him. He kept saying he didn't know about the letters, but Clarke wasn't hearing him. Wasn't realizing that he was telling her the truth.

She looks at him again; and sees fear. Fear of losing her. Fear of her dying and him not being able to save her.

Pain. Pain of having the person you love come back after believing for years that they didn't want you. Didn't need you.

But she does. She needs him more than he knows, and she told him to leave. To get out.

"Clarke... I'm- I'm so sorry." Bellamy says, pain surrounding his voice, making such a strong man sound weak.

"Bell..." Clarke says. She tried to say more, but she couldn't. The tears came and Clarke let herself break. Let herself feel everything that happened. Before, she was keeping everything inside; not allowing herself to think about what happened. Trying to be strong and not let emotions flow through her. Trying to be strong. Not weak.

The thing is, allowing yourself to feel is what makes you strong.

Bellamy is at her side in an instant, holding her in his arms for the first time in years, letting her fall apart.

"Shhh, I got you. I won't let anything happen to you." Bellamy whispers into her hair.

She doesn't know how much time passes, but what she does know is how safe she feels in his arms. She doesn't feel trapped, doesn't feel locked away. She feels at home.

"Clarke, I don't want to interrupt, but Miller just texted me. He said his dad is here. David is his dad Clarke." Wells says.

Clarke pulls away from Bellamy reluctantly and looks at Wells. "Why is he here?" She asks.

"He called earlier... said that the police down in California are actually looking for Cage here in Arkadia. I know you don't want to, but you have to tell him what you told us." Wells says sadly.

Clarke nods. "Okay." She whispers.

She looks up at Bellamy, "Please stay with me..."

Bellamy pushes a piece of her hair out of her eyes.

"I'm not going anywhere ever again, Princess."

Clarke smiles slightly at him, and he feels his heart soar.

* * *

After talking with David, and crying a lot more tears, Bellamy and Clarke are sitting in the room, just the two of them. Bellamy is holding her hand in his, rubbing his thumb across the back of her hand. She knows he's thinking something. It's funny that it's been so long, but she still can read him the same.

"Bell?" Bellamy looks up at Clarke with a hurt expression.

Clarke sighs, "Bellamy. This isn't your fault."

Bellamy nods and looks back down at their hands.

"It is though. You don't have to try to make me feel better. I shouldn't have let you go four years ago Clarke. I'm supposed to know you better than anyone, yet I believed what you said. I let you go, and I hated you for it... I did so many things I regret during that time Clarke. Things you should hate me for." 

"Bellamy. Look at me." Clarke says, and Bellamy lifts his head to look at her.

"Nothing you did, will ever make me hate you."

Bellamy smiled sheepishly, "Clarke, when you left I slept with Echo. The same night. I was an ass to everyone, I drank, got high... I became my mother. I never wanted to, but I did. I only stopped because of Octavia. She went down such a dark path... it scared me. I couldn't allow myself to feel anything because I needed to save her. I made Echo my girlfriend because I couldn't stand to be alone, not because I loved her. I could never love anyone who wasn't you." He said, meeting her gaze.

He sighed as he continued, "while I was doing all of that... trying to hate you, you were saving all of us. You were going through hell, and I didn't even know. I couldn't save you. Then you came back and I was such a dick—,"

"You weren't that bad."

"Clarke... I was a dick. Plain and simple. Everyone was acting like dicks. God you wrote me letters... Clarke if I knew I wouldn't have— Clarke... I shouldn't have kissed you and ran away. I should have stayed because I wanted to kiss you. God I wanted to kiss you the second I saw you walk inside that bar. If I would have stayed this wouldn't have happened. This is my fault." He says, as he lets himself cry.

"Bellamy you can't say that. There is no way to know whether or not this would have been prevented. He could have very well waited until the next time I was alone. It isn't your fault, the only person at fault here is Cage."

Bellamy feels it again. The rage, the overwhelming anger. He feels it in his bones, it's like every part of his body is on fire, that it would burn to the touch. Then he looks at Clarke, and it evaporates. Looking at Clarke is like being brought back to shore, after being lost at sea. It's like an anchor that keeps him from floating away.

He smiles at her, "How is it that you're comforting me right now?"

Clarke shrugs, "I guess I just have a natural talent for it."

Bellamy leans in slowly, but Clarke puts her hand on his chest. He pulls back immediately and looks at her.

"I'm sorry- I'm sorry. I guess I read that wrong—,"

"No no, it's... can we just take it slow? I just... Im scared." Clarke says, getting choked up.

Bellamy shakes his head and cups her face.

"Princess, we will take it one step at a time. You are in control. I'll never do anything you don't want me to do. I promise I'll never hurt you. I've waited forever for you, Clarke Griffin, I'll wait forever more."

Clarke laughs for what feels like the first time in forever. "You're such a dork."

Bellamy chuckles, "Well I guess I just have a natural talent for it."

They smile at each other, and it feels peaceful. Like there is nothing else but them. The head and the heart.

۵༄❆


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update cause I love y’all!

۵༄❆

_**Lying next to the person you love** is the best sensation. Being able to feel their warmth next to you, their breathing fusing with yours in perfect harmony._

_Clarke looks at Bellamy, and a smile overtakes her._

_"Hey, Bell." She whispers into the quiet night._

_His eyes flutter open, and his gaze lands on her, eyes sparking in awe. "Princess, what are you doing awake?" He asks, as he rubs his fingers through her hair._

_Clarke shrugs and snuggles closer into his embrace._

_"Couldn't sleep. We've lost so much time already, I don't want to waste anymore on sleeping."_

_Bellamy chuckles, and wraps his arms tighter around her. "I can promise you, any moment we spend together isn't wasted. Even if it is just sleeping. I've missed sleeping next to you, Clarke."_

_Clarke blushes and nuzzles her face in Bellamy's neck._

_"Aw baby, are you blushing?" He asks, clearly amused._

_"No!" Clarke giggles, but Bellamy lifts her face up to look at him._

_"Aw baby look!! You're all red!" He teases, and Clarke pouts._

_"Aw no don't pout," Bellamy says as he kisses her nose. "I wanna see you smile."_

_He kisses her left cheek, "I love your smile." He says, as he kisses her other cheek, trailing his lips all the way down her face until he reaches her lips._

_Hovering over them, his voice barely above a whisper, "I love everything about you."_

_Clarke sighs, and surges forward closing the distance between them. Kissing him was like coming home, finally feeling like the puzzle pieces are falling back into place. She brushes her tongue against his bottom lip, and he opens up to her, allowing her to deepen the kiss._

_Clarke lies back, and pulls Bellamy on top of her, running her fingers through his curls. Bellamy pulls from her lips, and kisses along her neck, leaving a delicious chill in the absence of his lips._

_"Bellamy- god this feels amazing." Clarke says, as she pulls his face up to hers._

_But it isn't Bellamy._

_The eyes looking back at her aren't the warm shade of brown that holds so much life._

_No._

_They're dark, lacking the warmth and love that she's used to._

_The smile that graces this person's face isn't one of happiness, love, and adoration._

_It's hatred, evil, cold._

_The face she sees looking back at her isn't Bellamy._

_It's Cage._

_"No! No! Get off! Stop please!" Clarke cries out, trying to push the body off of her. But the weight doesn't go away. It becomes more insistent, a pressure Clarke can't handle. The breath is being stolen right from her lungs and there is nothing she can do about it._

_"STOP PLEASE! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!"_

_But no one is there. The only sound is her screams_.

* * *

"Clarke! Clarke, wake up! Cmon Clarke!" Bellamy cries out, as he shakes her body softly trying to pull her out of the nightmare she's having.

The nightmares have been a constant occurrence, following her into the night the moment she falls asleep. One moment she will be fine... then the next, she's thrashing in her bed, unable to wake up. Unable to escape whatever pain she's going through.

"STOP PLEASE! HELP! SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!" Clarke screams.

"Clarke! I'm right here! Wake up! Get up, and fight!" Bellamy cries as he shakes her body more forcefully this time.

Clarke's eyes shoot open, and she gasps as she sits up in the bed. Her eyes are frantic as she looks across the room, before her eyes finally land on Bellamy's face.

"Clarke?" Bellamy breathes out, and Clarke throws herself into his arms, as she begins to sob.

"I'm here Clarke, you're okay. I'm here, it's just me." He reassures her, as he rocks her in his arms.

Clarke cries harder now, as she begins to talk into Bellamy's neck.

"It was us- it was us and then you just vanished! You disappeared and then he was here— he wouldn't let me go! He wouldn't leave me alone..." Clarke chokes out in between sobs.

A few tears fall down Bellamy's face as she cries. She shouldn't have to be going through this. It isn't right.

"I'm not going anywhere. He can't hurt you Clarke. I will never let anyone hurt you, ever again." He promises.

Ever since Clarke allowed him back into the room, he hasn't left her side. He sleeps here every night on an extra cot he managed to get the nurses to bring him. He only leaves to go shower, and then he's right back at her side. Wells is there too most of the time, he sits with Bellamy while Clarke sleeps, and tells him stories of Clarke when they were kids. Tells him how every night Clarke would draw him, and tell Wells about their friends, and the memories they shared.

Their friends try to come in, but Bellamy won't let them. They need to realize that Clarke has been through something traumatic, and she doesn't need the extra stress. When Clarke decides— and only when Clarke decides to let them back into her life, will he try too.

"Please don't go, Bell please don't go." Clarke sobs.

"I'm here baby, I'm here. Do you want me to lay in here tonight?" He asks, cupping her face in his hands.

Clarke nods, and pulls at his shirt whimpering a little.

"Okay, I'll sleep in here baby." He says lying back down with her wrapped in his arms. He holds her until he feels her body relax, and her breathing even out.

"I love you..." he whispers into the quiet night.

* * *

Clarke wakes up wrapped in Bellamy's arms. He always starts out sleeping in his own cot, but then the nightmares come and she needs him. She looks up at him and sees he's already awake, gazing down at her.

"Hey," she whispers.

"Hey back." He says, softly smiling at her.

"I'm sorry..." Clarke says sitting up in her bed.

Bellamy furrows his brow at her. "Why are you saying sorry, Clarke? You have nothing to be sorry about."

Clarke rolls her eyes, "You know that isn't true. I disrupted your sleep, I'm forcing you to lay in bed with me—,"

" _Clarke_ ," he says in disbelief, "I think you know that lying next to you is far from a hardship. It's all I've wanted for the last four years. You aren't doing anything wrong, you don't have to be sorry. I told you, I'm here for you." 

Clarke blushes, "Yeah, okay. I believe you."

"Good."

Clarke meets his stare, and for a moment she forgets about everything. She forgets that they're in the hospital, forgets that Cage is out there. Forgets that they were separated for four years.

None of that matters, all that matters is them.

Clarke leans in slowly, and Bellamy feels his breath hitch.

A knock on the door separates them.

"Hey, Clarke, Bellamy; good morning." Jackson says as he walks in with Clarke's chart in his hand.

"Hi, Jackson." Clarke says.

Bellamy nods in Jackson's direction. He knows Jackson wasn't there when the rest of their friends were attacking Clarke, but he still is having a hard time with forgiving them.

"I just wanted to come in and let you know that your vitals are looking good, your healing is coming along nicely. You should be able to go home today! Wells already informed me that you two have an apartment close by, so that's very useful for when you need to come in for checkups." Jackson says.

Bellamy smiled. He's so happy that Clarke is doing better. A part of him wishes that she could just come back and live with him again. But he knows she can't. He wants to do this right, which is why they're taking it slow.

"Now, since you tried to... since you almost..." Jackson trails off.

"Killed myself? You can say the words Jackson. I'm not gonna do it again." Clarke deadpans.

Bellamy looks at Clarke, pain in his eyes, and she looks back at him and grabs his hand, trying to convey that she really won't try to do it again.

"Right... well we still think you should meet with a psychologist. It's something I think could help with the trauma."

Clarke nodded, "I think that actually would be helpful. Thank you"

Jackson smiled, "I'll let you two start to prepare for your release." Jackson began to walk away but stopped, and turned back towards Clarke. "I'm glad you're okay, Clarke"

Clarke smiles and nods at him.

Once Jackson was gone, Clarke turned to Bellamy with tears in her eyes.

He rushed to her side, "Hey, baby— Clarke, what's wrong?"

"I don't— I don't even know why I'm crying. I get to go home, that's a good thing right?"

"Of course, Princess."

"I think I'm just nervous. I feel safe here... with you. With Wells. With the entire hospital staff here at all times. What happens if he finds me?"

"Clarke, look at me," he starts, and Clarke looks at him. "I'll never let anything hurt you, ever again. He won't come near you. I won't let him."

Clarke nods, "promise?"

"I promise."

"Could— could you stay with me and Wells for a bit? I know I'm asking too much—,"

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"I'll stay with you and Wells. You didn't even have to ask. I was just gonna sit outside the door anyway." Bellamy smirks. 

"You dork."

"I'm _your_ dork." Bellamy says without thinking.

It's so easy to fall back into the banter.

So easy to pretend no time has passed.

"Bell-,"

"Clarke?" A voice sounds behind them.

They turn and see someone they never expected to be there.

Abby.

۵༄❆


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

۵༄❆

_**Abby**_.

"Clarke, I— I hate to interrupt. I just... I need to talk to you."

Bellamy scoffs, "you had years to come and talk to her, and you choose to do this now?"

"I didn't know she was back in town. I had no way to contact her." Abby defends.

"Then why has it taken you so long to come see her here, huh?" Bellamy shoots back.

"Maybe because you've been watching her like some guard dog!"

"No, I've been taking care of her! I've been here for her!"

"I didn't come here to fight—,"

"Then why are you here, mom?" Clarke speaks up.

Abby steps closer to Clarke and Bellamy stands up straighter, crossing his arms.

"I came because you're my child, and you're in the hospital. I came because I'm trying to become a better person. I'm in the AA program now..."

Bellamy scoffs, "You're in AA? Then why did I see you in a liquor store a week ago?"

"I was about to relapse. Seeing you made me realize I shouldn't. I said some awful things that day, and everyday since I met you Bellamy, and for that I am truly sorry."

Abby turns her attention to Clarke, "Clarke I am so sorry for the way I treated you. I know I've been a horrible mother, and an even worse person. I am so sorry, and I hope you can forgive me."

"Right. Are you here because you genuinely want to make things right with me, or are you here because you're on the 'making amends' step of your program?" Clarke asks.

Abby's eyes widen, "Clarke I came because I am sorry. Yes; making amends is in my program, but I came here because once the drugs were gone, and I was in detox, I realized that I lost you. My child. And I am so sorry for the pain that I caused you. For everything I did, and said, for... for giving you up and making you bare my sins. I'm so sorry."

Clarke nods, and reaches for Bellamy's hand. He takes it and gives it a gentle squeeze in support.

"I am appreciative of your apology, and maybe one day I can forgive you and try to rebuild a relationship with you. But that day is not today. I don't even know if that day will ever come. I needed my mother and you weren't here. I made my peace with that a long time ago. I don't need you anymore. If you're serious about being better, then prove it."

Abby nods, "I understand. You've already given me more than I deserve just by listening to me."

Clarke smiles gently. Bellamy takes this moment to admire her. Her bravery, her strength. She's the strongest woman he's ever met, and she doesn't even know it. It will always render Bellamy speechless.

"How's Marcus?" Clarke then asks.

Abby sombers, "He's still in the coma. His doctor doesn't think he will ever wake up."

Clarke closes her eyes and takes a deep breath.

"Can— can I see him?"

"Of course you can." Abby responds.

"I want Bellamy to come." Clarke says, no room for argument.

"That can be arranged." Abby says nodding.

"When Clarke is released I'll bring her to the room. I remember where it is." Bellamy says, and Clarke looks at him with raised brows.

"Okay. See you then." Abby says, walking away.

Once Abby is gone, Clarke turns to Bellamy.

"You know where his room is?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah. When you were being operated on, and you weren't awake, I kind of lost it. I went off on everyone. I screamed at Octavia... Lincoln made me take a walk. I bumped into Abby and— and I went off on her too." He replies, looking down at the floor.

"Bellamy, you're doing it again." Clarke says.

Bellamy looks at her confused, "Doing what?"

"That whole self deprecation thing."

"Ha well, there's a lot to hate." Bellamy says.

"Really? Cause I think that there's a lot to love. You snapped, because you were under a lot of stress. You were angry at them because of what they did. I understand that, and I'm sure they do too. You have to stop beating yourself up over these things."

Bellamy smiled at her, "I'll try."

Clarke laughs brightly and looks up at him.

"My knight in shining armor." Clarke teases.

Bellamy laughs, "Yeah well, you know how it is. Gotta protect the Princess."

"Thank you." Clarke says, suddenly speaking seriously.

"You don't need to thank me, Clarke. I'd do anything for you."

Clarke blushes, "Let's hurry and get out of here. I'm sick of hospital gowns and nasty hospital food."

Bellamy barks out a laugh, trying not to focus on how quickly she changed the subject. "Tell you what, I'll take you out for a burger once we break outta here?"

Clarke nods frantically, "please. I haven't had a proper burger in ages."

"Well then I'll make sure to get you the best damn burger in Arkadia." He says smiling.

* * *

"Are you ready to see him?" Bellamy asks Clarke as they stand outside Marcus's door.

"Yeah... I'm ready."

They walk inside of the room and Clarke nearly sobs at the sight before her. He's been hooked up to these machines for so long... and it's her fault.

As if Bellamy knew exactly what she was thinking, he grabbed her hand, and she turned to look at him.

"This isn't your fault," he whispers, "You can't blame yourself for this, Jaha is the only one at fault."

Clarke nods and holds onto his hand tighter. They approach his bed and Clarke grabs into Marcus's hand.

"Hi Marcus..." Clarke starts, "I'm home. I'm safe. I halfway thought that by the time I was home you'd be awake. I guess I was wrong... it's not your fault though." Clarke says, taking a deep breath. "I miss you. I wish you'd wake up. I want you to wake up."

She looks at him for a long moment, just studying his features. That's when she sees it. The puncture wound on the side of his neck.

"Clarke?" Bellamy says.

"Get my mother." Clarke demands.

Bellamy opens the door and tells Abby to come inside.

"Clarke, what is it?" Abby asks.

Whipping around Clarke snaps. "What the fuck is on his neck? Why are there puncture wounds there?!"

Abby shakes her head, "There aren't any puncture wounds.. what are you talking about?"

"Go look for yourself!"

Abby walks over to Marcus and examines his neck.

"Oh my god..."

"What are you doing to him?!"

"I'm not— I'm not doing anything!"

"Then where the fuck are those coming from??"

"I don't know!"

Suddenly someone walks into the room.

"Mrs. Kane, I heard shouting in the hall. I was on my way to check on Marcus."

Clarke's heart stops. She knows that voice.

Bellamy notices her body tense, and Clarke meets his eyes. A silent plea.

He pulls Clarke into his chest, shielding her from whoever just walked into the room.

"Dr. Tsing, everything is fine." Abby says.

"I'm actually a little curious at to what those—,"

Clarke coughs loudly, interrupting her mother's sentence.

"Could we have a moment?" Abby then asks.

Dr. Tsing nods. "Of course." And she walks out of the room.

"Clarke what is wrong—,"

"That's Dr. Tsing. She works for Jaha."

۵༄❆


	29. Chapter Twenty- Nine

۵༄❆

" _ **What? Clarke what are you talking about?"** _Bellamy starts, "You've never mentioned her in your letters."

"What letters?" Abby asks, "What are you even talking about?!"

"I wrote Bellamy letters every single day that I was held captive. He never got them because I never got the chance to send them. He just now read them. That isn't relevant right now anyway! What's relevant is the fact that Tsing is fucking here!"

Clarke sighs and runs her fingers through her hair.

"The reason she isn't in the letters, isbecause she was only around for when we needed to be patched up. When Jaha made Wells and I go on deals; sometimes they'd be dangerous. We'd get pretty beaten up, and Dr. Tsing would patch us up. She was his own personal doctor. She disappeared after my mom left California. My guess was so she could follow Marcus here."Clarke sits down for a moment, looking defeated.

"I never even fucking thought she could have been responsible for this..."

A realization crosses Clarke's mind, making her stand to her feet.

Clarke turns to Abby, her heart beating out of her chest.

"How long has she been his doctor?" She asks nervously.

Abby looks at Clarke, fear starting to cross her face.

"The entire time... she approached me when we brought him to California, she said she was an expert with coma patients..."

"Fuck!" Clarke says, grabbing Marcus's chart and looking through it. "Bellamy, go call Miller, and tell him to get his dad here right now."

Bellamy nods and grabs his phone, frantically dialing Miller's number. He taps his foot impatiently as he listens to the dial tone.

"Hello?"

"Miller! You need to call your dad and get him here, now!" Bellamy pleads.

"Is everything alright?"

"Miller, I'll explain everything later just— just call your dad and tell him to get here, okay?"

"Okay, okay. I'll call now."

"Thank you." Bellamy says, hanging up the phone after.

Bellamy turns back to Clarke, "He's calling him now. What exactly is going on in that head of yours?"

Clarke closes her eyes to steady herself.

"I could be reaching... but whenever a client was becoming too... violent, Jaha would inject them with a sedative that would knock them out. Tsing was always the one to bring it to him..."

Abby shakes her head. "No. Clarke no. I've know Dr. Tsing for a long time. She isn't injecting Marcus with anything other than what is on his chart."

Clarke glares at her mother. "How exactly do you know that, Abby?! Cmon, you're a doctor! Does any of the medications listed on his chart require injecting something into his neck?? There's fucking needle marks there!"

Abby glares back at Clarke, "You're delusional Clarke! This isn't happening! You've been through trauma—,"

"Damn right I've been through trauma! That's how I fucking know somethings going on here. You knew Jaha for years too and guess what? Guess fucking what mom?! He killed your husband! So you need to open your fucking eyes and listen to me for once in your life!" Clarke yells.

Bellamy grabs Clarke's hand, but she rips it from his grasp, "Dont!" She yells, and Bellamy flinches slightly.

"God, Bellamy, I'm sorry I just-,"

"You don't have to apologize. I get it, it's okay."

Clarke shakes her head. "None of this is okay."

Bellamy pulls her into his arms, "Hey, we will get through this. Together."

Clarke nods, and leans into his touch, suddenly feeling safer.

* * *

When David finally got there, Clarke told him everything she just told Bellamy and her mother.

"Dr. Tsing is here?" David asks.

"Yes, she's been here for 2 years, California before then." Abby says.

"Clarke, Abby, Bellamy; I need you to listen to me carefully here. I know you say she works for Jaha, but we have been investigating her for years prior, for working with the Wallace family. She's extremely good at covering her tracks. If she's here, that means Cage is close by."

Clarke shudders, "So... she can lead you to Wallace?"

David nods, "Clarke, we are going to figure this out. If your theory is true, that means Marcus could wake up. You need to opt for house care. Abby, as his wife you are the only person who is able to do so. Go fill out the papers, and take him home. If Clarke is right, and he is being drugged, he will wake up within the next 48 hours."

Abby nods, and rushes out of the room.

"Clarke, Bellamy, you need to check out and go somewhere safe. Go home. Somewhere Cage won't know you'd be. Since he found you at the Lake, you can't stay at Bellamy's—,"

"Me and Wells have an apartment together. That's where I was going to stay. Is that okay?" Clarke interjects.

David ponders that for a moment. "Do you recall seeing Cage anywhere near that apartment? In the area at all?"

Clarke shakes her head, "No, I don't think so."

"I'll be staying with her. Obviously Wells will be there too. I'll do anything for her, to protect her. Whatever I need to do." Bellamy says, clenching his fists.

"Ah that's good. Hopefully it won't need to come to that. You should hurry though; and get out of here. I'm going to find Tsing. We will end this Clarke." David says, nodding his head sharply, before calling in for backup.

Bellamy grabs Clarke's hand, and she relaxes at his touch.

"Let's get out of here." He says, wrapping an arm around her and leading her out of the room.

Clarke nuzzles into his side. She knows he's trying to shield her from anyone's eyes, but she knows deep down he just wants to hold her, and she just wants to be held.

They see Wells half way through the hall, and he looks at them, obviously confused.

"What's—,"

"Tsing is here." Clarke says.

That's all the explanation Wells needs before he's nodding and looking around the hall, before coming to Clarke's other side and walking with them.

"How do you know?" Wells whispers.

"She came into the room when I was with Kane. I'm pretty sure she's been using the sedative on Marcus."

"Holy shit."

"David says she can lead him to Cage," Bellamy starts, "it better fucking work."

"It will." Wells says; comforting Bellamy.

Clarke's heart flips at this development. She knows that they bonded over her being in the hospital, but now it seems like they are friends. Friends that actually care about each other.

That's all Clarke ever wanted. For Bellamy to be hers, and Wells to be there, happy.Maybe when this is all over, she can finally get everything she ever wanted.

۵༄❆


	30. Chapter Thirty

۵༄❆

_**The drive to her apartment**_ with Wells and Bellamy was spent in silence. Clarke's mind is in overdrive, trying to piece together everything that has happened. How it's a never ending cycle of fear, hate, danger and violence. All she wants is to just be happy and be at peace for once in her life, but every time that dream seems to be in her grasp, it slips away.

"Clarke," she hears echoing in the background. It's a distant voice, one that she recognizes, but seems so far away.

"Clarke?"

It comes again.

"Clarke!"

Clarke is broken out of her trance, and sees Bellamy standing in front of her, a worried expression on his face. She reaches out and smooths the crease in his brow, and he relaxes slightly. Clarke looks around, wondering how they got to the apartment so quickly.

When did she walk inside? When did they even leave the car?

"Are you okay?" Bellamy asks, looking into her eyes.

Clarke nods, "Yeah," she says, voice quiet. "I think I just need to go shower. It's been a long day..."

"Okay, yeah. That sounds like it would be good."

Clarke smiles and just walks to the shower, without saying another word.

Her shower is quick. It's as if she's on auto pilot, present, but not aware of what she's actually doing. The next thing she knows, she's dressed and walking out of her bedroom.

She looks around the living room but doesn't see him. She sees Wells, in the kitchen cleaning a few dishes in the sink. She sees cars driving by from the window, but he isn't there.

"Where's Bellamy?" Clarke asks, startling Wells.

He turns around and looks at her, "He had to go to his house to get his things, remember? He mentioned it in the car. Since we had to rush you out of there he needed to get his stuff."

Clarke nods, "Oh."

She sits on the couch, pulling the blanket up to her shoulders. She stares blankly ahead at the wall.

Wells makes his way over to her side. "Clarke, Clarke are you okay?"

She doesn't respond, just closes her eyes slowly, then opens them back up again.

Wells reaches down and grabs her shoulder, and she looks up at him with teary eyes.

"Where's Bellamy? He said he wouldn't leave me. Where is he?"

"Clarke he's coming right back—,"

"Where. Is. He?" She says, as tears fall down her cheeks.

"Clarke—,"

Suddenly Clarke's small tears turn into sobs, and she starts to breath heavily. Wells tried to pull her to him but she pushed him away. She stood up and started to pace across the living room, hearing the faint whisper of Wells' voice calling out to her.

* * *

Wells panics, grabbing his phone to call Bellamy.

"Hello?"

"Bellamy you need to come back right now!"

"What's going on??" Bellamy asks, his heart beating out of his chest.

"Clarke's freaking out! She's been acting weird, keeps asking where you are... she's zoning out I don't know what's going on!"

"Okay! She's probably having a panic attack? I'm driving there now!"

"Hurry!" Wells says hanging up the phone.

Whenever Clarke had a panic attack back in California there was only one thing that ever helped her calm down.

Bellamy's jersey.

He runs to Clarke's room, and rushes to find the jersey.

"Where the fuck is it!?" He yells to himself, frantically searching every drawer, and every bag Clarke has.

Suddenly, he hears a loud thud coming from the living room.

He runs back to the room and sees Clarke. She's on the floor, shaking uncontrollably as her eyes look around the room, fear clear inside of them.

* * *

All she sees is their faces.

Jaha.

Cage.

Tsing.

She feels the weight of Cages body on top of her, the sting of Jaha's fist, the judgement and condescending words of Tsing.

She sees nothing but her demons.

She wants to cry out for help, but she can't. Her voice is gone, her body isn't under her control anymore.

She feels powerless, weak. Alone. Completely and utterly alone.

She's aware of Wells calling her name, rushing to her side to try and help her through her convulsions.

The one person she wants most, nowhere to be found.

She hates that this is what she has become.

Eventually the shaking stops. Her body starts to regain feeling, her mind becomes clear.

No Jaha.

No Cage.

No Tsing.

"Clarke, they aren't here, they can't hurt you." Wells says, holding onto her.

She didn't realize she said that outloud.

"If they aren't here, how come they haunt me in my dreams?" Is all she says, before she's being pulled to sleep.

* * *

Bellamy rushes inside the apartment and sees Clarke lying on the couch, curled up in a blanket.

She looks pale, tired.

Rushing to her side, Bellamy asks Wells, "What happened?"

Wells looks down at the floor. "Bellamy when I got off the phone with you, she collapsed. She was shaking so uncontrollably, I couldn't get it to stop.I- I called Jackson after she fell asleep. I told him everything she was doing... he said she had a non-epileptic seizure, probably brought on by her panic attack. The stress was too much for her body to handle."

Bellamy's face falls, and his chest tightens.

"Yet again another moment Clarke needed me, and I wasn't there."

"Don't say that Bellamy, you couldn't have known."

"She told me not to leave her and I did!"

"To go get your things! You didn't leave her permanently! She knows that! She would never be the kind of person to make you stay with her every moment of every day! You know that isn't Clarke!"

Wells sighs when he sees Bellamy's broken expression.

"Listen, Clarke has been through so much. It isn't surprising that all of the trauma is finally catching up to her. Jackson said this is normal. The therapy will help, and when Cage is locked up, it will make things better for her as well. All you have to do is be here when she needs you."

Before Bellamy can get another word out, Wells continues talking.

"And no- I don't mean every second of every single day, because that's not realistic. Clarke knows that. You know she does. This was a drastic reaction to everything going on right now. Jackson said it isn't going to be this way every day. You know Clarke won't blame you when she wakes up... so stop blaming yourself."

Bellamy nods, and leans down to pick Clarke up. He walks her to her room, and puts her down on the bed. Looking at her, he brushes the hair from her face, and leans in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead.

As he turns around to leave, he hears Clarke stir.

"Bellamy?"

"Hey, Princess." He says walking back to her.

He sits on the side of her bed, and she reaches out and puts her hand on his cheek. He closes his eyes at the feeling.

"This isn't your fault. I can see it written all over your face."

Bellamy doesn't realize he's crying until Clarke pulls him to her.

"You're here now, and that matters."

Bellamy nods, and pulls back to look at her. She smiles at him, and nuzzles her head against his hand.

"You should go back to sleep, get some rest."

"Will you stay with me? I sleep better when you're here."

"I was planning on it, Princess." He says, as he lays behind her and wraps her in his arms, burying his face in her hair.

This is what peace feels like.

۵༄❆


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

۵༄❆

_**Clarke's never felt more exhausted in her life.** _

Well, that's a lie. She's been exhausted for going on five years.

What she means is physically. According to Wells, Jackson said she had a non-epileptic seizure due to trauma and stress. And while that's fun and all, she doesn't wanna do it again.

"You okay, Princess?" Bellamy asks, trailing his fingers up and down her arm. She cranes her neck and looks up at him.

"I'm fine." Bellamy raises an eyebrow at her and she cups his cheek. "I promise. Just tired. Anything from David while I was out?" Bellamy shakes his head.

"No. I mean, he said he's calling his boss down today and they'll get right on it, but no arrests as of yet." Clarke sighs and cuddles closer into Bellamy's side. Bellamy kisses the crown of her head and they lay in comfortable silence, basking in each other's presence.

"Hey, Bell?" He looks down at her. The love and admiration in his eyes is enough to make tears brim in Clarke's eyes.

"Hm?"

"I just wanted you to know that I love you." Bellamy smiles, kissing the tip of her nose.

"I just wanted you to know that I love you, too," he replies. Clarke glances at his lips, her heart pounding.

In her heart, she knows Bellamy would never hurt her. Never do the things Cage did.

But her mind cautions her. Reminds her of what happened in the past. Carries the nightmares from night to waking moments, taunting her.

"I'm sorry," Clarke whispers. Bellamy's eyebrows furrow in confusion.

"For what?"

"Not being able to kiss you. I want to, but I just can't. I don't know how to describe it. And I know you're probably getting fed up with it—" Bellamy props himself up on his elbow and tilts her chin up so she's looking at him.

"Clarke. Listen to me. Don't you dare apologize for anything. I can sacrifice kissing you for your healing. I just want you to feel better, Princess. No matter what the cost." A tear falls down Clarke's cheek and Bellamy wipes it away with his thumb.

"You're too good to me." Bellamy chuckles.

"No, I'm not good enough. But it's nice to know you think so." He says, and Clarke rolls her eyes and grins.

"Give yourself some credit, Blake. You're putting up with the crazy world I was thrust into. Anyone else would've run for the hills."

"Well I'm glad I'm not just anyone, then, am I? I'm Bellamy Fucking Blake. Badass brother and now full time bodyguard. How cool?"

"Well, can't be cooler than me. Clarke Goddamn Griffin. Former drug lord and all," she jokes. Bellamy doesn't want to laugh at that, but her cheeky smile gets him. He cracks a grin and bursts into laughter.

"That's not fair, though," he whines. Clarke grins before cupping his face, suddenly getting serious. Bellamy's about to say something before he hears a noise.

"Wait, do you hear that?" Bellamy suddenly says, straining his ears to listen. He shakes his head, still listening, trying to see if the noise will happen again.

Clarke moves up a little so she can whisper to him, "that's the sound of all the fucks I don't give." Clarke pulls away and bursts into fits of laughter at her own joke, amusing Bellamy as well, realizing he's probably just being paranoid. He stares down at the beautiful girl- no, woman- in his arms. She's so strong. Strong and kind. "And funny." Bellamy blinks his eyes back into focus.

"What?"

"You said I'm strong and kind. I added funny to the list."

"Oh, I said that out loud?" He asks, turning red. Clarke giggles.

"Awh, you're so cute," she coos. Bellamy rolls his eyes and tries to hide his face in Clarke's hair. "Uh uh. Nope. You don't let me hide my face when I blush. You think I'm gonna let you get a free pass on that?" Clarke takes her hair back from Bellamy's grasp. Bellamy peers down at her, grinning. "What?"

"You want pancakes?" He asks, squirming out of bed.

"Is this a ploy to get away from me?" Clarke asks, half-jokingly. She really is still scared that Bellamy will realize she's not worth the danger and stress she's putting him through and leave.

And she wouldn't blame him one bit.

Bellamy leans down and kisses her forehead.

"Never," he whispers, before whisking her up in his arms. Clarke squeals in surprise, slapping his chest with the back of her hand. "Blueberry?"

"Please." Bellamy sets Clarke down on the couch and drapes two blankets over her. "You don't have to baby me, Bell," Clarke protests.

"I do, actually, because you're my baby." Clarke laughs, turning on the TV. She scrolls through the channels while Bellamy rummages around in the kitchen.

"Hey, wait, where's Wells?" Clarke asks, just now realizing her best friend is nowhere to be seen.

"He's out looking for a job."

"It's not safe with Dr. Tsing and Cage are still out there," Clarke protests, getting increasingly worried. Sensing this, Bellamy rushes to her side and squats down in front of her, laying a comforting hand on her knee.

"He has police officers following and escorting him everywhere. David made sure of it." Clarke breathes easier, nodding.

"Thank you." Bellamy gives her a heartwarming smile before going back to the kitchen to continue the pancakes. Clarke focuses her attention back on the TV, finally settling on Parks and recreation.

Bellamy comes into the living room after finishing the pancakes, and finds Clarke watching the show they used to watch together. Bellamy smiles at that, and puts the plate of pancakes in front of her.

"Ooooh my god, you're the best." Clarke says, immediately cutting into the pancakes.

"Dang, baby you gotta leave some for me!" Bellamy teases, and Clarke rolls her eyes.

"I deserve it! Plus, it's not my fault you make the best pancakes." Clarke shrugs, as she keeps eating.

"Damn right I do. Remember when O ate the entire plate of the banana pancakes I made?"

"She got the biggest stomach ache after that." Clarke says sadly.

Bellamy sombers. "Baby," he says, as Clarke looks at him. "I know you miss them. I know they feel bad. But they need to come and apologize to you."

"I know, Bell. It just sucks, I miss them."

"I know. They need to deserve you first. Just like I need to try to deserve you."

Clarke smiles at him. "You don't need to try, you already do."

Bellamy smiled, and his phone started to ring.

"Clarke, it's David." Bellamy says, as Clarke pauses the show.

"Hello?"

"Bellamy, is Clarke with you?" David asks.

"Yeah she's right next to me. Let me put the phone on speaker really quick."

"Okay, go ahead." Clarke says.

"We got Tsing. I had a warrant written up and expedited so we could check the security cameras in Marcus' room. We caught her giving him the sedative. She's in our custody Clarke. We're so close to getting Cage." David says, and Clarke feels her heart soar.

They're close, so close to her getting her life back.

"Did she say she would give up Cage?" Bellamy asks.

"Yes. She made a deal, a shorter sentence for Cage."

"A shorter sentence?! How the fuck would she deserve a shorter sentence?" Bellamy snaps.

"Bell, it's okay. It probably isn't shorter by much. Right?"

"Right. There would probably only be a year— if that much, taken off. But she doesn't need to know that." David says.

Clarke nods, relieved, and she feels Bellamy relax next to her.

"Thank you, David." Clarke says.

"Of course Clarke. You deserve to get your life back."

"She deserves everything." Bellamy says, admiring Clarke.

"Take it easy guys. Talk soon." David says before hanging up.

"Oh my god. OH MY GOD!" Clarke says before standing up.

Bellamy stands up with her, growing nervous.

"What?? Clarke, what's wrong??"

"Nothing is wrong! Bell, they got her. Before you know it they'll get Cage and I'll be free. God Bellamy, I'll finally be free!"

Bellamy smiles widely at his princess, before wrapping her in his arms.

Clarke jumped up and closed her legs around him, holding onto him as tight as she could. He spun them around and they were laughing happily into each other's necks.

Clarke pulled back and met Bellamy's eyes.

She wanted to kiss him. More than anything, she wanted to feel the press of his lips against hers.

Clarke leaned in, and was so close to finally kissing him before they heard a loud noise coming from Wells' room.

"What was that?" Clarke suddenly says, and Bellamy puts her down.

"Stay here," Bellamy says, as he walks towards the room.

"Bellamy no! Don't go by yourself are you crazy?!"

"I'm not letting anything happen to you Clarke! I love you, and if someone's here it's gonna be me who gets hurt; not you."

_"How sweet."_

A voice says behind them, and Clarke's blood runs cold.

۵༄❆


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double update to make up for me being absent for a while, I hope you enjoy!

۵༄❆

_**David brings Tsing**_ into the precinct, and locks her handcuffs around the interrogation table.

"There's two ways we can do this. You can choose.

The easy way being; I ask you a question, you answer honestly, and we can all go about our plea agreement." David starts as he takes a seat in front of Tsing.

"The hard way, now that isn't as appealing. If you don't answer my questions honestly; then you will get no plea. You'll get nothing."

Tsing rolls her shoulders back. "I'll go the easy way, Miller."

"Good. Now, do you work for Cage Wallace?"

"My family has worked for the Wallace family for years. Cage recently overthrew his father; killed him to be more specific. Jaha overheard of my sedative and wanted me to work for him. It was my sedative in exchange for his drugs, and a personal view of the girl."

"The girl?"

"The blonde one. Cage was attracted to her the first time we saw her. Which is why he put a tracker in her clothes after he... raped her. When I found out he raped her I wanted out. I wanted to become the doctor I once was. I swear I was going to stop giving that man the sedative. Miracles happen every day, I was going to claim him waking up to be a miracle." Tsing says.

"Wait wait, you mentioned a tracker?"

Tsing nods, "Cage put a tracker on the girls clothes after everything. He had a feeling she wouldn't kill herself and wanted a way to find her if he wanted her again."

"Shit! Where are these clothes now??" David asks frantically.

"Well they would be returned to the patient. So I assume, wherever the girl is, the clothes and in extension the tracer is with her." Tsing answers.

David gets out of his seat and runs. "We need to get to Clarke Griffin's apartment now! Cage Wallace is there!"

* * *

" _How sweet_."

No. God please no. Bellamy quickly pulls Clarke behind him, blocking her from the monster standing in front of them.

"Get the fuck back, Cage!" Bellamy growls.

"Why would I do that? I heard the call, they're gonna find me right? Might as well make it worth my while." Cage snarls.

Clarke grips onto Bellamy's arm tightly, wanting to keep him close to her.

"You're not gonna fucking touch her!" Bellamy yells.

Cage laughs. A chilling sound that echoed off the walls of the apartment. He looks at Clarke from behind Bellamy and smirks.

"I see you decided not to kill yourself?"

Clarke grips Bellamy tighter.

"Don't talk to her! Don't even fucking look at her or I'll kill you!" Bellamy growls, the anger and fear radiating off him.

Cage sends a glare in Bellamy's direction. "Kill me? I think it's pretty ironic that you're making threats here, considering I'm the one with the gun." He says as he pulls a gun from behind his back.

Bellamy stands more firmly in front of Clarke, shielding her body from Cage. He won't let anything happen to her, not this time.

"Bellamy..." Clarke whispers, her voice filled with fear.

"Shh I got you Clarke, I won't let anything happen to you." Bellamy assures her.

"Nothing's gonna happen to her, huh? Hope you didn't say that before I raped her because that would make you a liar." Cage taunts, as he starts to point the gun towards Clarke.

Bellamy's fists clenched by his sides, his labored breaths filling the room. "Get the gun away from her, Cage!"

"Are you gonna beg for it? Beg like Clarke was when I pushed her to the ground? When I beat her until she was silent?" Cage responds stepping closer to them.

"Stop! You don't want to do this, once they catch you it will only make your sentence worse! Think about this!" Bellamy yells, his words rushing out of his mouth in frantic breaths.

"Oh, I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking about how good Clarke felt when I was inside of her. How fun it was to watch her cry, how satisfying it was to feel her skin under my hands."

Bellamy takes a step forward and Cage aims the gun at his head. "I suggest you stop moving, or I'll kill you right here; right in front of her."

Clarke pulls Bellamy back towards her, holding onto him with all her strength.

Cage notices this movement and smirks.

"Maybe I will kill you. So then when you're dead, I can have my way with your little slut again. It'll make it so easy to just force her to open up to me over your dead body."

"You're fucking sick!" Bellamy spurs out, and Clarke just pulls him back.

"Cage. Don't hurt him please. I'll do anything just please don't kill him!" Clarke cries out, and Bellamy whips his head around to look at her.

"Clarke! Stop! What are you doing?!" Bellamy asks, tears in his eyes.

"I can't let you die Bellamy! I won't lose you too!"

"Shut the fuck up! Both of you!" Cage screams, as he takes the butt of the gun and scratches his head with it.

"Now; I want you to go sit over there." Cage said pointing to the other end of the room.

"No! Fuck that! Stay away from her—,"

Cage points the gun to Clarke's head. "I said go sit over there, or I will blow her fucking brains out."

Bellamy looks at Clarke in anguish, tears running down his face, his breathing erratic.

"Baby—,"

"Just do what he says Bell, it's okay." Clarke says, her voice shaking almost as much as the rest of her body.

Bellamy walks to where Cage told him to go, silent sobs wracking his body.

"Good. Now, come here and get on your knees." Cage demands.

"What?!" Clarke asks.

"Get. On. Your. Knees. I'm gonna fuck you while pretty boy over here watches. And IF YOU TRY ANYTHING," Cage starts as he sees Bellamy start to move, "I WILL KILL HER. Do you understand me?!"

"It's okay Bell. Shhhh I'll be okay. Let me save you." Clarke says, sinking to her knees.

"Good girl." Cage says as he goes to undo his belt.

As Cage is distracted, Bellamy takes note of where the gun is.

Left hand.

Finger NOT on the trigger.

Pointed to the floor.

That's all the information Bellamy needs to know before he's charging at Cage, with all his strength, tackling him to the ground.

"Bellamy!" Clarke yells as she sees him take Cage down, the impact so strong it cracks the wood floor.

Bellamy pulls his fist back and brings it down on Cage's face, repeating the action until he feels a crack.

Bellamy falls back, holding his nose in his hands, before he quickly pulls himself together launching himself back at Cage.

He hears Clarke crying in the background. Hears her screaming. But he needs to protect her this time. He needs to keep her safe. She's already done so much, it's his turn.

Cage knocks Bellamy's face against the floor, making Bellamy grow dizzy. He kicks Bellamy's stomach before turning around to grab something. Bellamy sees that the gun is still on the floor... and Cage is trying to get to it.

Bellamy grabs Cage's leg, watching as he falls to the floor, before hitting him again. Cage knocks Bellamy back again, giving him enough time to grab the gun.

"BELLAMY STOP PLEASE!" Clarke begs, tears running down her face.

Before Cage can point the gun at Clarke, Bellamy intercepts him and tries to grab it out of his hands.

They're wrestling for the gun, Clarke's screaming and pleading being the only sound in the room, until it isn't.

The gunshot rang in her ears, the room spinning. Both men falling to the ground. Looking at the floor, she sees the man she loves. Blood pooling around him. Motionless.

۵༄❆


	33. Chapter Thirty-Three

۵༄❆

" _ **NO! BELLAMY!**_ " Clarke screams as she falls to her knees in heart wrenching sobs.

She lost him. She lost him again. The man she loves, the person she wanted to spend the rest of her life with, her everything. Without him she truly has nothing left. She wants to use that gun on herself too. She's lost everything, so what's the point anymore?

Before she gets the chance to do anything else, she hears a groan come from the bodies. Clarke's heart stops at the thought of Cage being alive.

But she doesn't have to worry about that because Cage’s body is tossed to the side, and Bellamy is sitting up, looking around the room until his eyes land on hers.

"Bellamy?" Clarke whispers, before he's crawling his way to her, pulling her into his arms.

She cries into his chest as he holds her, tears running down his own face.

Suddenly Clarke pulls back, and grabs his face in her hands, studying every inch of his body.

"Baby, baby look at me, hey, _look_ at me." Bellamy says, grabbing onto her wandering hands.

"I'm okay. I'm right here, it's not my blood, it's his. I'm not going anywhere."

Clarke takes deep breaths as she tries to calm herself down. "You're so stupid! God Bell, you could have died!"

"But I didn't. I'm right here! Princess, I'm right here." He assures her.

"Bellamy if I lost you— if I lost you I don't know how I would have been able to survive. I love you so much, please don't ever do that again." Clarke cries.

"Shhh baby I'm here," he says, pulling her tighter to him. "You don't have to worry about anything anymore. I'm not going anywhere, you're safe now Clarke."

Clarke nods and pulls Bellamy back to her, holding onto him tighter than she ever has, as Bellamy whispers sweet nothings into her hair, holding her back just as tight.

"Arkadia police! We're coming in!"

The door shoots open, and David and a few other police officers barge into the apartment, guns raised.

Bellamy speaks up, "He got inside somehow. He was going to hurt Clarke, I tried to get the gun away from him but it went off... I think he's dead"

Finally Clarke realizes what Bellamy did for her. He killed someone... took someone's life so that she could live. He saved her, and so many other people from Cage.

"I'm going to have to ask both of you a few questions, but... I'm so glad you're both safe, and not too hurt." David says, as he shakes Bellamy's hand.

Clarke stands up and intertwines her fingers with Bellamy's, and he looks at her; a small smile forming on his face.

"Let's go out into the hall so I can ask a few questions?" David suggests, and they follow him into the hall.

"How long did it take you to realize that Cage was in the house?"

"Bellamy and I were sleeping for a while, and then he made me some food, and as we sat down to watch tv we heard a sound coming from Wells' room." Clarke starts.

"I heard something when we were in bed, but I didn't think it was anything serious." Bellamy continued.

"What happened once you realized he was there?"

"It all happened so fast... he pulled out a gun and tried to..." she says as she looks at her feet. "If Bellamy didn't stop him I'd probably be dead. He saved me."

"That he did. I'm proud of you, son."

Bellamy smiles sheepishly and looks to the floor.

"We informed Wells about the situation, and we set him up in a very nice hotel for the night, and provided him with listings to other apartments. This one is now a crime scene, so obviously you can't stay here tonight, or any other night for the foreseeable future.Now that you don't have to worry about Cage; or anyone else anymore, is there someplace else you can go?"

"I want to go home, if that's alright with you, Bell." Clarke says, gazing up at Bellamy.

The look on his face said it all. The love and admiration that filled his eyes was enough to show Clarke that he really is here, and he isn't going anywhere.

"Let's go home."

* * *

As they pull up to Bellamy's driveway, Clarke grows nervous. She hasn't been here in so long, and the closest she's been was at the lake. Where the worst moment of her life occurred.

Bellamy opens the door and lets Clarke inside. Nostalgia hits her like a train when she sees that nothing major has changed at all. The pictures from when they were kids are still hung from the walls, the paintings Clarke made them are still displayed proudly.

"You kept them." Clarke whispers.

"Of course I did. It was all I had left of you." Bellamy answers, and brushes the hair out of her face. She nuzzles onto his hands before she looks at him.

He has cuts all over his face, dried up blood all over him.

"I need to clean these." Clarke says, as she lightly traces his cuts.

Bellamy winces slightly, but nods. "I still have that first aid kit where you left it." He says smirking.

"Ah yes, the infamous 'Finn versus Bellamy' fight." Clarke says as she grabs the first aid kit and jumps up on the counter. Just like she did all those years ago.

"I mean it wasn't much of a fight. I'm Bellamy Badass Blake."

Clarke rolls her eyes, as she grabs the cotton ball and puts the alcohol on it. "Oh yeah? I thought you were Bellamy _fucking_ Blake?"

"That too." Bellamy smirks.

Clarke laughs, and pulls Bellamy to stand between her legs, so she can start cleaning his cuts. They're so close that Clarke can barely breathe. She carefully cleans the cuts, trying to focus on her work instead of the warmth of his body.

"Clarke," he starts.

"Yeah?"

"I want you to know.. I want you to know you're safe. This nightmare is over, and you're here. I'm here. We're finally together. I'll never let anything happen to you. I know that there are some horrible memories for you here— and if I could take that back... if I could erase them all I would."

Clarke looks at the man she loves. The brave, selfless man. He always had a knack for carrying the world on his shoulders.

Moving to clean another cut, Clarke sighs. "None of it is your fault Bellamy. Yes, I have horrible memories here, but I also have some of the best. Meeting you, being with you, falling in love with you... that's the best thing that has ever happened to me."

Bellamy laughs a little, before his face falls.

"I killed a man tonight Clarke..."

Clarke cups his face in her hands. "You saved my life Bellamy. That is what you did tonight. You set me free. It was an accident, but if I'm being honest I'm glad he's dead. I must be a horrible person for saying that—,"

"You, Clarke Griffin, are far from horrible. You're perfect."

Clarke gazes into his eyes, and sees nothing but love.

Love.

Warmth.

Loyalty.

She sees in his eyes; what she knows is reflected in her own. Any reason for not kissing him seems so small now, as she has the man she loves so much right in front of her.

Her eyes flick down to his lips quickly, before she puts down the cotton ball, and traces her hands up his shoulders softly, before placing her hands on both sides of his face.

"I love you, Bellamy." Clarke says, as she leans in slowly.

"I love you, Clarke. So much." He breathes out.

Clarke rests her forehead against his, just breathing him in, before she lightly brushes her lips against his.

"Are you sure you're ready to do this Clarke?" Bellamy asks, his voice shaking.

"I've gone far too long without kissing you Bell. I know you'll never hurt me. You'll never do anything to make me feel scared. I love you, I need you." Clarke says.

Bellamy smiles widely, before leaning back in, pressing the gentlest of kisses against her lips.

He pulls back, and looks into her eyes, as if to ask if this is really okay.

This is why she loves him so much.

She closes the distance and presses her lips against his, feeling like everything is set back into place. They kiss like those four years never happened, and like they've been here; together, all this time.

Bellamy cups Clarke's face and pulls her closer, kissing her with all the love and passion that is in his eyes when he looks at her.

It's everything, and not enough all at once.

They pull away after a few moments, pressing chaste kisses to each other's lips before resting their foreheads together once more.

"I've waited so long to be able to kiss you... really kiss you. I love you." Bellamy breathes out.

"I'm here. And I'm not ever leaving again. I love you too."

Bellamy pulls Clarke into his arms, holding her tight as he kisses her skin, telling her he loves her after each breath

As they sit there, wrapped up in each other's arms, the front door opens.

"Oh my god."

۵༄❆


	34. Chapter Thirty- Four

۵༄❆

" _ **Oh my god."**_

Bellamy groans and pulls away from Clarke. "I'm so sorry. I didn't think she would be coming home tonight, I thought she'd be with Lincoln."

Clarke laughs a little, "It's okay babe, not a big deal."

Bellamy narrows his eyes at her, "It is though, considering how she spoke to you."

"I'm right here Bellamy. I can speak for myself." Octavia suddenly says. "First off; what the fuck happened to you??"

It's at that moment, Bellamy realizes he's still covered in blood.

"Cage. Cage happened." Bellamy says, and Octavia's eyes widen.

"What?!"

"He showed up at the apartment; Clarke and Wells got a place when they got here. He showed up, had a gun, and well, I fought him for it."

"Are you fucking stupid?? You could have gotten killed!" Octavia snaps.

"But I didn't. He was going to hurt Clarke; and I wasn't gonna let that happen." Bellamy says, looking back at Clarke.

"So... where is Cage now?" Octavia asks.

"He's dead." Bellamy says, starting to get tense again, before Clarke grabs his face and kisses his forehead, calming him down immediately.

It's always been that easy with them.

"Wait, when did you even get out of the hospital?" Octavia asks Clarke.

"Today. As soon as I got out this all happened." Clarke responds.

Turning her attention back to Bellamy,

Octavia glares. "And why didn't you tell me Clarke was getting out?! Don't you think I deserved to know that my best friend was being released?? I could have been there to help you both!"

"Best friend?" Clarke asks. "Now I'm your best friend again? Find out the poor girl was raped and tried to kill herself then all this sudden she means something? She matters? No. That's bull."

"Clarke—,"

"No Octavia! Look, I get that you thought I just left and abandoned all of you. I get that. I did what I had to do to keep you all safe, and if that meant you hating me? Fine, so be it. But when I came home... I came home and you didn't even give me a chance to explain! You looked at me, and didn't care what you said as long as it made me feel bad. How can you sit there and say I'm your best friend; when before you found out I got hurt, you were wishing I never came home?" Clarke says, standing in front of her now, seeing Bellamy smirking in the corner of her eye.

"There's my brave princess." She hears him whisper.

Octavia goes to open her mouth but Clarke cuts her off again. "Also; do you really think that your brother would have wanted to risk you? Risk your life at all?? He knew the dangers of being around me, and he wouldn't have wanted to put you at risk. And no matter how much you hurt me, I wouldn't either. I didn't even want Bellamy around me!"

"Well, you did." Bellamy jokes, trying to lighten the mood.

"Bellamy; baby, now is not the time." Clarke responds.

"So you two are back together then?"

Bellamy smiles before answering. "We're taking it one step at a time. Cause we have it now. We have time."

Clarke smiles, and has to physically fight the urge to kiss him.

"Clarke..." Octavia says, and Clarke looks at her.

"I'm so sorry. Not just because you got hurt. Yeah, that scared the shit out of me, but I was sorry before. Right after I said all those things to you I felt so guilty. I cried to Lincoln, and he listened to me as I bashed you, before realizing that I'm not even mad at you. I don't even blame you. For any of it. I blame myself for not trying harder to be present in your life. I blame myself for not realizing something was wrong. For giving up on you so quickly. You were my family and I gave up on you. I'm so sorry Clarke. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I want the chance to try and earn it." Octavia says; tears brimming in her

Clarke stands there for a minute, letting Octavia's words replay in her mind. She'd be lying if she said she didn't miss her. She misses all of them.

Clarke steps forward, and wraps her old friend in her arms. Hugging her, and breathing a sigh of relief.

"I'm not saying everything is going to go back to the way they were right away... but I would like to try." Clarke says after pulling away.

Octavia nods, and wipes the tears off her face. "I'd like that very much."

Clarke gives her another smile, before turning back to Bellamy. The look on his face is enough to make her want to cry. The look of awe and happiness.

Clarke knows being mad at his sister is hard for him. She also knows how important her friendship with Octavia is to him. She decides right there that she will want to do anything to keep that feeling in his life.

"You both should go shower." Octavia says, breaking the trance. "Clarke you can use mine if you want, unless you want to share?"

"O!" Bellamy exclaims and Clarke giggles.

"I can use yours Octavia, thanks." Clarke says.

"Okay, I'll cook some food while y'all get clean." Octavia says walking to the kitchen.

"You cook now?" Clarke asks in disbelief.

"A lot has changed in four years Clarke." Octavia laughs.

Clarke smiles and heads to the showers.

* * *

Clarke gets out of the shower, feeling refreshed for the first time in a while. All she wants to do is eat some food, and cuddle with Bellamy.

So of course that's not gonna happen.

"What in the buttfuck of Satan happened to you guys?!" She hears Murphy yell.

"Oh, you know. Getting threatened with a gun and all." Clarke says casually as she nuzzles herself into Bellamy's side.

"Clarke—," Murphy starts.

"Look Murphy maybe you two should just leave." Bellamy says gesturing to Murphy and Raven. "Clarke's been through enough stress for today."

Clarke's heart is fond for her guy, always trying to protect her heart.

"What do you think I'm gonna do to her, Bellamy?" Murphy asks incredulously.

"I don't know, call her a bitch maybe?" Bellamy spits.

"Look, can we not get all macho man? You just said it yourself. Clarke doesn't need this stress!" Raven says.

Bellamy shoots his stare at Raven, and Clarke takes a step back.

"Look, maybe I should just—,"

Before she could even get a word out, she's being wrapped up in Murphy's arms. She's stunned for a moment, before she slowly returns the hug.

Murphy isn't the kind of guy that easily shows affection.

It's never been how he is. So him bugging her like this... it says more than words ever could.

"Us cockroaches gotta stick together, right Griffin?" He says, emotion evident in his voice.

Clarke pulls back and nods, "Bad bitches don't die."

Murphy laughs at the use of their old inside joke. It was the moment that they really became friends. Murphy was always Bellamy's friend, so when her and Bellamy first started dating, she always just assumed that would always be how it was. However, a few shots of Montys moonshine and a lot of laughing, blossomed a friendship that Clarke has certainly missed.

"I'm sorry Clarke." He says, and she can tell he's genuine.

Clarke looks behind Murphy and sees Raven, shifting on her feet, putting all the pressure on her good leg.

"Raven..." Clarke says, and Raven starts to cry.

Very similar to Murphy, Raven doesn't let her emotions show all that often. She likes looking tough.

"Clarke... I know you're probably really fucking tired of hearing it, but I'm sorry. We all are. We're fucking idiots that should have known better."

Clarke laughs, "I'm not gonna argue with you there. Look, I'm gonna tell you both, and everyone else, what I told Octavia. It's gonna take some time for me to fully forgive you all, and for things to go back to normal. I've been through... I've been through a lot. I just need time, and I'd you guys are really serious about fixing this, I need you to show me."

"We will, Clarke. I promise." Raven says.

"Alright, I don't wanna break up the party but; I'd really like to go to bed with my girlfriend now so if those who don't live here can leave? I'd greatly appreciate it." Bellamy says tiredly.

The group laughs, and Raven pulls Murphy out of the house.

"Goodnight guys, see you in the morning." Octavia says as she heads to bed.

* * *

  
"So I'm your girlfriend, huh?" Clarke says as they lay down in Bellamy's bed.

Bellamy's eyes widen, and he looks nervous.

"Uh, I um... well... what?"

Clarke giggles, "I'm teasing you Bell. Of course I'm yours. I've always been yours."

Bellamy smiles, "and I'm yours too, princess. Which is why, I would like to take you out on a date."

Clarke blushes, "a date?"

Bellamy looks at her sheepishly. "I know it's kinda— not kinda it's really shitty timing, with all the trauma we both now have with what happened tonight, and what happened all these years... it's just I want to do this right. I want to take you out, get to know you again, make you feel those stupid first date butterflies and shit. I want you to know how serious I am about you."

Clarke traces his freckles with her index finger.

"Yes, the timing is shitty, and I think we both need to get some therapy but... I've waited long enough for you. I love you, and I want to be with you. I wanna feel those first date butterflies and shit."

They both laugh, and Bellamy pulls Clarke closer.

"Will you go on a date with me, Clarke Griffin?"

Clarke presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I'd like nothing more."

۵༄❆


	35. Chapter Thirty- Five

۵༄❆

" _ **Good morning Bell."**_ Clarke says as she runs her fingers through his soft hair.

"Curls." He mumbles, nuzzling into her side.

"Huh?" Clarke asks.

"You said you were gonna call me curls, you haven't yet and I'm just waiting for it baby." He mumbles again.

Clarke pulled his face up to look at her. "You remember that?" She asks in awe.

Bellamy smiled sleepily, "of course I did. I read that letter probably a hundred times. It was so cute."

Clarke blushes and leaned in to brush her lips against his. "Okay then, curls." She corrects, closing the distance between them.

Bellamy lets out a satisfied breath against her lips, curling his fingers into her hair and pulling her closer to him. Clarke runs her fingers up his chest and deepens the kiss, moaning at the feel of his tongue dancing across hers.

It all feels so good, it's all perfect. However, she can't fight the nervous feeling in the back of her mind.

Luckily she doesn't have to focus on it because her phone starts ringing.

"Ugh," Bellamy groans, "No phones, don't answer." He begs as he kisses her cheeks.

"I have to, it's probably important." Clarke responds, reaching over him to grab her phone off the nightstand.

"It's my mom." Clarke says; before accepting the call.

"Hello?"

"Clarke, Marcus woke up! He— he's awake. You were right..." Abby says, her voice sounding tearful.

"Oh my god! Can I- can I come see him??" Clarke asks.

"Of course. I assume you're bringing Bellamy?"

"You assume correctly." Clarke answers.

"Okay, see you soon."

"See you."

Clarke hangs up and turns to Bellamy, a huge smile on her face.

"He's awake Bell."

"Thank god," Bellamy says hugging Clarke.

"We got to get dressed, we're going to see him." Clarke says standing up from the bed.

Bellamy grabs her wrist and she turns back to look at him. "If it's okay with you- maybe I can take you out on that date tonight?"

Clarke looks at him but doesn't say anything.

Bellamy clears his throat, "Uh unless you weren't actually serious in wanting to go out with me? I mean you don't have to, and if it's too soon I totally get that I just—,"

Clarke cuts him off with a kiss. "You're so damn cute you know that? Getting all nervous and flustered."

"I was not." Bellamy groans.

"You were, and it was adorable." She coos.

"You're adorable." Bellamy responds with a lazy smirk.

Clarke rolls her eyes lovingly. "Alright Blake, get up and get dressed, we got places to be."

* * *

As they approach the door to her childhood home,

Clarke's nerves are shot. There are so many bad memories attached to this place. But for every bad memory, there is a good one, and that has to do with the amazing man standing next to her

"Hey baby," Bellamy says grabbing her hand. "It's gonna be okay. I'm here with you."

Clarke smiles, "I know it's just been so long since I've been here. I'm scared."

Bellamy pulls her to him, "I know, but you're safe. Nothing is gonna happen to you. I will make sure of it."

Clarke nuzzles into his chest. "I love you."

"I love you too baby. Now let's go see Kane."

They knock on the door and Abby answers with a sheepish smile. "Hey, come on in." She says, stepping aside.

"Marcus is awake, laying down still but he's awake. He was asking for you earlier."

Clarke nods, and as soon as they turn the corner her heart simultaneously sinks and soars.

"Clarke!" Marcus says, voice shaking.

"Marcus," Clarke says rushing to his side, hugging him softly.

"You cut your hair." He says touching the tips of her hair.

Clarke nods tearfully, "I did. I'm so sorry Marcus."

"It isn't your fault... your mother caught me up on some of what happened. I'm so sorry I couldn't stop it, Clarke."

"You couldn't have known, no one could have."

"That's not exactly true." Marcus says, glaring at Abby.

Clarke sighs, "It's not like I want to defend her here but... she was on drugs Kane. She wasn't herself. She's trying to change and I think she should get the chance to prove herself."

"You're full of forgiveness aren't you?" Marcus asks.

"Only because he gave it to me." Clarke says, looking at Bellamy.

Marcus smiles and calls Bellamy over to them.

"I'm glad you're awake sir." Bellamy says.

Marcus laughs, "Please don't call me sir. Call me Kane."

Bellamy chuckles, "Okay, Kane".

They spent the rest of the afternoon just talking and catching up. There were tears, laughs, and smiles. Something that has been so rare for so long.

"Hey, come here Bellamy." Marcus says, while Clarke is grabbing her things to get ready to leave.

"Yeah?"

"I can see how much you love her. Don't let her go. Treat her right." Kane says.

"I don't intend to let her go. I love her more than anything." Bellamy replies easily.

"Good. That's all I want for her."

* * *

"Where are you taking me?" Clarke asks excitedly as they drive to their date.

"A few places, but shush it's a surprise." Bellamy teases.

"Ugh, you know I'm nosy, I'm not good at surprises."

"Trust me baby, I know." He says smiling.

They pull up to a restaurant called 'Indras' which has been booked for months.

"Oh wow," Clarke breathes out. "This is beautiful."

Bellamy gazes at Clarke. "Yeah, really beautiful."

He holds her hand as they walk into the restaurant, listening to her gush about the decorations.

As they sit down, their waitress comes up right away.

"Hi there, I'm Callie. I'll be your server for today. What can I get you?" The waitress says smiling flirtatiously at Bellamy.

Clarke's mouth almost falls open.

"I'll take water. How about you clarke?" Bellamy asks, completely oblivious to the waitresses' goo goo eyes.

"Mhm I'll have water too." Clarke says through gritted teeth.

The waitress looks at Bellamy again, completely ignoring Clarke. "Have I seen you around here before? I swear you look so familiar."

Bellamy laughs, "Do you go to the college up the road from here? I'm a TA for Pike."

The girl giggles, and Clarke grips the edge of the table tightly.

"I do! All the girls know you actually."

"Oh, well I actually have a—,"

"Let me know if I can get you something," she cuts him off, then lowers her voice to a whisper, "anything at all." She winks and walks away.

Bellamy sits there dumbfounded until he glances at Clarke and sees the scowl across her face.

"Baby—,"

"Are you fucking kidding me? The nerve that girl has! You're clearly on a date right now! She doesn't have any regard for anyone else but herself! Coming here flirting with my boyfriend like I'm invisible or some shit! Like yeah, I get it! You're fucking hot but come on!" Clarke huffs.

Bellamy just gazes at her in awe.

"I love you so fucking much."

Clarke snaps her eyes up to him and flushes under his gaze. "I'm sorry, I'm totally acting like a jealous freak right now."

"No, you have every right to be upset." Bellamy says, as their server comes back.

"Here you go," she says, putting Clarke's water down quickly before placing Bellamy's down slowly and gentle. Clarke's scowl grows even more, and she opens her mouth to say something before Bellamy beats her to it.

"Doesn’t my girlfriend look stunning tonight, Callie?" Bellamy says, resting his cheek on his palm, looking at Clarke in a way that makes her heart race.

"Girlfriend?"

"Yeah, the person sitting across from me right now. I've been in love with her since I was 18, had the biggest crush on her since I was 15, and couldn't deal with the fact I thought she was pretty at 13. Isn't that wild?" Bellamy says.

If the scowl on the servers face is any consolation, they're definitely not leaving a good tip.

"Are you ready to order food?" She asks, her sweet attitude long gone.

* * *

After dinner, Bellamy drives to the second location.

"Curls, tell me where we're going." Clarke singsongs.

"Ha Ha, nice try baby, but calling me that isn't gonna make me tell you."

Clarke huffs, "Well it was worth a shot."

Bellamy smiles until he turns onto a dirt road, leading them to a flower field.

"Bellamy," Clarke says, "you're pulling out all the stops today, aren't you?"

"Well I want the best for you."

"I love you so much."

"I love you too. Let's go, we've got a sunset to watch."

Bellamy lays out a blanket onto the floor and plops down onto it, gesturing for Clarke to lay in his arms.

She does; and sighs as he presses a kiss into her hair.

The snuggle as they watch the sunset, Bellamy runs his fingers though Clarke's hair. Content.

Clarke reaches up and presses her lips against Bellamy's. He lets out a moan as he shifts so Clarke is laying on top of him.

He deepens the kiss, and puts his hands on her hips, pulling her center right into his groin, moaning at the friction.

Clarke revels in how good this feels, how perfect.

But then that feeling from earlier returns. The nervousness, the fear.

She pushes off of him, panting.

Dazed, Bellamy looks at her. "Clarke? Are you okay? Did I do something..?"

"No! It's not you just— I'm scared. I know you won't hurt me but..."

Bellamy nods and pulls Clarke back to his side.

"Princess, I love you. You have nothing to apologize for, and I will take this as slow as you need. We're working at your pace. I'll wait as long as you need me to. I just want you to be happy, and comfortable when we finally do this."

Clarke blushes. "How did I get so lucky?"

Bellamy scoffs, "I'm the lucky one."

۵༄❆


	36. Chapter Thirty-Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is almost over!! It took a bit to get used to the layout of this forum, but I’m excited to upload my future stories here as well as Wattpad! 
> 
> Anyways, here’s the next chapter!

۵༄❆

_**A few weeks pass**_ , and Clarke is slowly starting to get back to a place where she feels normal, happy. Bellamy is wonderful, as always. He never pressures her for anything more than what she's comfortable with giving him, he always makes sure she feels safe and loved. When the nightmares come, and she feels like she's getting lost in the darkness, he's there to pull her back into the light. Clarke never thought it was possible to love him any more than she already did, but he proves her wrong every single day.

As Clarke wipes the sleep from her eyes, she walks into the kitchen to find Bellamy making eggs on the stove. She comes up behind him and wraps her arms around his waist, pressing her forehead into his back.

"Hi baby, how'd you sleep?" Bellamy asks.

"It was pretty good actually, no nightmares!" Clarke responds happily.

Bellamy turns to her and kisses her forehead, "I know, I'm glad. Do you have any plans for the day? I'm gonna be busy grading all of Pike's finals."

Clarke whines, "Does that mean you're leaving me alone today?"

Bellamy sombers, "Only for the morning and part of the afternoon. Don't forget we have Miller's big move tonight."

Clarke smiles. Even though Miller didn't say much to hurt Clarke, he still apologized to her and they had a heart to heart about his dad and forgiveness. Some might think she's forgiving them too fast, but she's lost so much of her life. She wants it back, and she's not making it too easy on them, but she forgives them.

"I can't believe he's gonna propose to Jackson. It's amazing, Bell!"

"I know. If anyone deserves to be happy it's Miller."

Clarke smiles widely just as Octavia walks in.

"Hey Clarke, I was wondering... would you want to have a girls day with me and Raven today? Like old times?" Octavia asks nervously.

Clarke raises her eyebrows and looks at Bellamy.

Bellamy shrugs. It's your choice. Is what he's really saying.

Clarke turns to Octavia and smiles.

"I'd like that."

Octavia smiles widely, "Okay yeah, cool! I'll call Raven and let her know."

Clarke watches as Octavia slips back into her room.

"Is it bad to say I'm nervous?" Clarke asks.

"Not at all. It's been a long time, it's normal to have nerves." Bellamy responds, as he puts eggs on Clarke's plate, handing it to her.

Clarke starts to eat as she continues.

"I just don't want things to be so different to where she realizes being my friend isn't worth the hassle."

"Clarke, having you in life isn't a hassle. It's a blessing."

"You're just saying that because you're my boyfriend. Don't think I'm not scared of you leaving too." Clarke says pointing at him with her fork.

Bellamy rolls his eyes and takes the plate from her hands.

"Hey!"

Suddenly Bellamy is lifting Clarke up and setting her down on the counter, standing between her legs. Clarke gulps and wraps her fingers in his curls.

"I'm not leaving you. Not now," planting a kiss on her left cheek. "Not tomorrow," her other cheek. "Not ever." Pressing his lips to hers.

Clarke relaxes into the kiss and pulls him closer with her legs. The more they kiss, the readiness for more comes. Clarke knows she wants him, and she wants to experience it with him again.

Clarke pulls away from his lips and starts to trail kisses down the side of his neck, earning a groan from Bellamy.

"Princess—," he says as he pulls her back to his mouth, working his tongue against hers.

Clarke moans against his lips, deciding she doesn't want to wait anymore. She knows Bellamy, knows his heart, his soul. She wants him. Needs him.

Clarke grinds her hips against Bellamy and he tightens his grip on her hips.

" _Fuck_ , Clarke—,"

"Clarke, Raven is gonna pick us up at 12– AH MY EYES!" Octavia shouts.

Bellamy pulls himself away from Clarke and tries to hide his obvious arousal behind an empty plate.

"Jesus, O! Announce yourself!" Bellamy hisses.

"Or you guys can maybe, i dunno, not have sex where I eat?!"

"I'm gonna go get dressed now." Clarke says as she hops down from the counter.

"Yeah me too, I lost my Appetite." Octavia grimaces.

The girls walk away leaving a very sexually frustrated Bellamy behind.

* * *

The girls sit down at Polis diner for lunch. Most of Clarke's nerves have disappeared at this point, leaving behind a feeling much more like excitement.

"So, Clarke, are you moving in with Bellamy officially?" Raven asks.

Clarke blushes, "I mean I hope so. I'm living there now anyways but he didn't ask me to stay."

"But he didn't ask you about how Wells's apartment hunting was going either. Trust me, Clarke, my brother does not want you to move out." Octavia says amused.

"Well it's a good thing I don't wanna move out." Clarke answers, sipping on her soda.

"Well that's a relief, if I had to listen to Blake's whining one more time— I'd probably kill him." Raven laughs.

"What was he whining about?" Clarke asks curiously.

"Clarke might want to move back in with Wells! What do I do waaaa waaaa waaaa!!" Raven mocks, and Clarke and Octavia erupt into giggles.

"Hey Clarke, did you go to college at all?" Octavia asks suddenly.

"No. There wasn't much time for college while being a drug lords pawn." Clarke says, and Octavia sombers.

"I'm sorry—"

"I wasn't trying to make you feel bad Octavia. I mean I would have loved to go to art school but... I doubt that's possible for me now."

"Why the hell not?" Raven asks.

"Well, because—,"

"No. I don't wanna hear any bull shit excuses. It's not too late; and you know damn well that you would kill it In art school." Raven says.

"Yeah, and Clarke, you need to follow your dreams, don't put anymore of your life on hold!" Octavia adds.

Clarke thinks for a moment before a smile overtakes her face. "Okay yeah, maybe I'll look into some art schools here."

"Yeah! That's our girl!" Raven shouts before her smile falls off her face, and Octavia grows pale.

"What?" Clarke asks, before her eyes settle on Echo walking into the diner.

Echo glares as she walks up to Clarke.

"Are you proud of yourself? Stealing my boyfriend?!"

"Oh come on Echo, you know he was only sleeping with you because Clarke wasn't here." Octavia says, and Clarke grimaces. She knows Bellamy was with Echo, but she doesn't really like hearing about it.

"Shut the fuck up Octavia. This is between me and Clarke." Echo says.

Clarke's has had enough.

"This is between me and you? Okay. Why the fuck didn't you give Bellamy my letter? I trusted you, and you betrayed me!" Clarke snaps.

"I have no loyalties to you clarke. You were well aware I wanted Bellamy, so I took what I wanted. Plain and simple." Echo shrugs.

"Well look how that turned out for you! Bellamy is with me, he loves me, he wants me. Not you."

Echo scoffs, "Oh yeah? Look in his top drawer and let me know how you feel when you find the ring."

Clarke's heart drops. "R-ring?"

"Yup. _Ring_. Goodbye Clarke." Echo says stomping off.

Clarke sits there, tears welling in her eyes.

"Clarke it's not what you think—," Octavia starts but Clarke stands up.

"I think I'm gonna go and get ready for tonight. I'll see you all later." Clarke says, walking away and wiping tears.

۵༄❆


	37. Chapter Thirty-Seven

۵༄❆

_**As Clarke finishes**_ getting dressed for the night, she feels strong arms wrap around her waist, and soft kisses being pressed against her neck.

"God, you look absolutely stunning, baby." Bellamy breathes out, and Clarke leans into him, reveling in the feeling of his lips brushing across her skin before she remembers.

The ring.

A ring that he was going to give to Echo. She knows she doesn't really have a right to be upset, she left him and she knew he was moving on but... he told her she wasn't that special to him. So finding out that he had a ring in his drawer for her... it shattered Clarke's heart.

"Are you dressed?" Clarke asks, pulling away from him.

Bellamy is taken aback by her sudden standoffishness, but he answered her anyway. "Yeah, we have to be there soon. Are you okay?"

Clarke turns around and plasters a smile to her face, but Bellamy can tell it doesn't quite reach her eyes.

"I'm fine, Bell. We need to hurry up before we miss it." She says as she starts to walk out the door.

Bellamy grabs her wrist and stops her.

"Clarke—,"

"I'm fine Bellamy, we really don't have time for this conversation right now."

Bellamy can feel his heart speed up.

Clarke touches the side of his face and smiles softly, "we will talk later, okay?

Bellamy nods, now focused entirely on what Clarke could possibly have to talk about.

* * *

They make it to the place Miller texted them, and Clarke's eyes light up.

"What is this place?" She asks.

"It's a light show. This is the first place Miller ever saw Jackson. They ran into each other— and the rest is history." Bellamy says.

"That's so romantic. It's beautiful."

"Yeah, it is."

Clarke meets his gaze and smiles at him.

"We should probably go find everyone else before we miss the proposal."

Bellamy nods, and grabs Clarke's hand, which she accepts, but Bellamy sees the hesitation.

She hesitated to grab his hand.

"Hey guys!" Miller greets excitedly. "Jackson should be here in a few minutes."

"I'm so happy for you Miller." Clarke says.

"Well he hasn't said yes yet so don't be too excited." He responds.

Bellamy rolls his eyes at his best friend. "You're an idiot, you know he's going to say yes."

"Yeah yeah," Miller looks at his phone. "Holy shit okay he's here!"

Bellamy pats Miller on the arm. "You got this, man."

Miller smiles, and waits for Jackson to meet up with them.

The second Jackson sees them his face lights up.

"Hey guys! I didn't know all of y'all would be here!" He says happily, as his eyes land on Clarke.

"Hey Clarke, how are you feeling?" He asks.

Clarke laughs. "No doctor talk tonight Jackson."

Suddenly, the lights behind them start to flash in a beautiful light show. Jackson turns around, his face turning into one of awe.

"Nate—,"

The song that starts to play along with the lights is "I think I wanna marry you" by Bruno Mars.

Jackson turns around and sees Nate kneeling on one knee.

"Oh my god—," he breathes out.

"When I first met you, I was in such a rough place. I thought that no matter what I did someone was always out to get me. I thought that there was nothing that could make me believe in love again. Then I met you. We were watching this exact light show, and you turned to me and said—,"

"I don't know how anyone has the patience to hang this many lights." Jackson says, laughing.

"I knew from that moment that I wanted to be with you forever. So, my best friend in life, will you marry me?"

"Yes!" Jackson says as he lets Miller out the ring on his finger and surges to kiss him.

Everyone is applauding, and Clarke has tears in her eyes from how beautiful the proposal was.

Bellamy pulls her into him, kissing her head.

"I love you clarke." He says suddenly.

"I love you too..."

He looks at her again, this time with less admiration, and more confusion.

"Let's go celebrate bitches!" Octavia yells.

* * *

They decide to go to drop ship, because it's the bar where they all found out about Jackson for the first time. Being here, surrounded by all of her friends, listening to them talk about memories that she was never a part of... it hurts.

"I'm gonna go get refills for everyone." Clarke says standing up.

"Let me help." Jasper suddenly says, and Clarke gets kinda nervous.

She hasn't spoken to Jasper at all since that night.

She honestly has no idea what to expect.

As they walk to the bar, Jasper clears his throat.

"So you probably caught on to the fact that there is a reason I came to help you get drinks." He says.

"I thought it was because you were a gentleman." Clarke jokes, and Jasper scoffs.

"Cmon, me? A gentleman? Never!" He exclaims and Clarke laughs.

"In all seriousness, I wanted to apologize for what I said, and how I treated you."

Clarke smiles, "You didn't really say anything that bad. Besides Monty and Miller, you were the most innocent."

Jasper shakes his head. "Maybe I didn't say much, but trust me I was thinking the worst. I want to explain why."

Clarke nods.

"Two years ago, I met a girl named Maya. She was... she was everything I could have wanted. Beautiful, smart, funny. She accepted me for who I was; flaws and all. I loved her." He says sadly.

"She got really sick. I stayed with her through it all. It was horrible; watching the woman I loved slowly deteriorating in front of my eyes. She died in my arms..."

Clarke lays a comforting hand on Jasper's arm, "God I'm so sorry Jasper..."

He nods, as he keeps going.

"When she died I went through a really bad time. I became so depressed. I was drinking all the time, doing hardcore drugs... I tried to kill myself. I even wrote Monty a suicide note. I know how it feels to be in a place that feels so lonely, that you think the only way to find peace is through death. I was so mad when you came back because... it was so unfair. You left, and Bellamy felt that pain of losing you. Only you got to come back and maya didn't. Then I found out about everything you went through, and about you trying to kill yourself and... I just realized how similar we are. I'm so sorry Clarke."

Clarke wipes away tears from her eyes. "I forgive you Jas. We're in this battle together, okay?"

Jasper nods, and pulls Clarke in for a hug.

"Bellamy helped me through it you know." He says, and Clarke raises her eyebrows.

"He helped me detox off the drugs, got me mental help. He was there with me every step of the way, because when he cares about you, he will never leave your side. I noticed something seems off about you guys tonight, and I'm gonna give you my advice even though you didn't ask for it. Talk to him. Don't shut him out. Whatever's bothering you, tell him. He loves you. Don't let him slip away."

Clarke nods. "When did you get so wise?"

"Eh, it comes with old age."

"You're nineteen Jas."

"But my fake says I'm 25 so, yeah." He says laughing.

They walk back to the booth, drinks in tow, and spend the next few hours celebrating Miller and Jackson.

They're two people who made it work.

۵༄❆


	38. Chapter Thirty-Eight

  
۵༄❆

_**All Clarke can think about** _for the rest of the night was Jasper's words.

_Talk to him. Don't let him slip away. You need to tell him what's bothering you._

Those words keep ringing through her head.

While they were saying bye to their friends.

On the car ride home.

All up to the point when they walked inside Bellamy's house. Octavia was staying with Lincoln that night, and while she was excited to have the house to themselves that morning, seeing Echo ruined it.

"Clarke, can you please tell me what's wrong? I'm freaking out right now..." Bellamy pleads as soon as he closes the door.

Clarke sighs. She knows she should talk to him, she knows he didn't do anything wrong, but her head is screaming at her to just stay silent.

"It's nothing Bellamy I'm just tired okay?"

Bellamy shakes his head and walks up to Clarke, putting his hands on her shoulders.

"I've known you practically our whole lives. I know when you're lying."

Clarke laughs, "if that were true you would have never let me leave four years ago."

The second the words tumble out of her mouth she knew she shouldn't have said it. Bellamy's mouth drops open slightly, and his eyes glass over, before he's stepping back and looking at the ground.

"You're right—,"

"No Bellamy I'm sorry— shit. I didn't mean that. I shouldn't have said it." Clarke tried to reassure him.

Bellamy nods, "It's okay."

Clarke shakes her head. "It's not. I'm just upset because..."

She needs to tell him. She can't let him think the worst, because that's exactly what Bellamy does. He always assumes the worst.

"I saw Echo today," Clarke starts; deciding that she can't keep him guessing. If she wants this relationship to work she needs to talk to him, and be honest.

"Okay... and?" Bellamy asks, urging her to continue.

"She said a few things that upset me, made me overthink. Not that I even have a right to." Clarke shrugs.

"Clarke, I can assure you that anything she said is bullshit. You don't have to worry about her." Bellamy says, putting his hands back on her shoulders.

Clarke shakes her head. Suddenly feeling annoyed.

"It's bullshit?" Clarke asks.

Bellamy nods, "Yes, baby it's bullshit. What did she say?"

Clarke rolls her eyes, "I'll show you." She disappears into his room, and he hears a drawer opening and slamming shut. Clarke comes stomping out of his room, holding something in her hand.

"Clearly not bullshit if what she said was true, Bellamy!" Clarke yells, pushing the item into Bellamy's hand. He looked down at what she handed him, and a smirk started to appear on his face.

"You were gonna propose to her?! You told me that it wasn't even serious; that you didn't love her like that! And I'm totally out of line here I know I am, because I was gone but— why are you smirking?? God Bellamy you're such a fucking ass!" Clarke rants.

"You done?" He asks, with a raised eyebrow.

"Excuse me?"

"The ring was for you, Clarke. Not Echo." Bellamy says, that smirk still on his face.

"Wh-what?"

Bellamy opens the box and reveals a ring to her. One that she remembered looking at in a store all those years ago.

"I got it for you. I was gonna give it to you the night of my graduation. It was supposed to symbolize a promise of a future that I wanted with you. It's a promise ring. _Your_ promise ring." He takes her hand and slips the ring on her finger.

"Bell... I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."

Bellamy cups her face with his hands.

"When are you gonna realize you have nothing to apologize for?"

Clarke shakes her head, grabbing onto his wrists.

"But I do. You had a promise ring for me babe, and then you didn't even get a chance to give it to me... then I just screamed at you because I thought you were gonna propose to Echo..."

Bellamy chuckles, "Echo is diluted if she ever thought we'd get there. I never even told her I loved her."

"What?"

Bellamy nods. "I never told her I loved her, because I _didn't_. I've only ever loved _you_ , Clarke. I will only ever love you, and that's what this ring symbolizes. And eventually... I'm gonna turn the promise into a reality."

An overwhelming sense of love fills Clarke's body. Her heart beats for one person... someone who loves her so unconditionally. No matter how damaged she is, how broken; he stands here telling her that he wants her.

"I'll love you for eons, Clarke Griffin." Bellamy says, cupping her cheeks.

Clarke's eyes well with happy tears, as she closes the distance between them.

Their lips move frantically against each other, pouring out all of the love that they have felt for each other all those years.

**

Clarke curls her fingers into his hair, and steps backwards toward the couch, pulling him with her. She pushes him to sit down, and she straddles his lap, surging forward to reconnect their lips.

Bellamy grips Clarke's waist and pulls her closer to him, making her center grind against him, giving him satisfying friction.

Bellamy lets out a loud groan, digging his fingers into her hips. "God Clarke— we should stop bef-before I won't be able to."

Clarke rolls her hips against him again, loving the way his breath hitches. "I don't want to stop. I want you."

Bellamy looks up at her, hope in his eyes.

"Are you sure? I promise you, there is no pressure here. If you aren't ready we can stop."

Bellamy Blake, always the gentleman.

"I don't want to stop. I'm sure Bell. I love you, and I want to be with you. I'm ready." Clarke says, rolling her hips against him again, harder this time.

"Holy shit," Bellamy starts, crashing his lips back to hers, pushing his tongue into her mouth.

He grips her short hair between his fingers as he kisses her, relishing in the cute little moans she makes with each contact of their tongues.

He pulls off her lips and peppers her jaw with kisses, before getting to the crook of her neck; right atop her pulse point. He kisses it for a moment, before pulling the skin between his teeth, sucking a mark into her neck.

"God Bell; that feels good." Clarke moans out.

He smiles against her neck, before soothing the mark with his tongue. Pulling back to admire his work, Bellamy smirks. "Mine."

Clarke smiles. "Yours."

Clarke starts to unbutton his shirt, her cheeks flushing at the sight of his beautiful body. She pushes the shirt off his shoulders, and traces her fingertips across his broad chest.

Bellamy inhales, and moves his hands to her back, pulling the zipper of her dress down at a tortuously slow pace. Once the zipper is all the way down, he pushes the straps off her shoulders, revealing her blue lace bra.

"You're perfect, baby." He says, as he bends down and plants kisses across her collar bones, working his way down to the valley of her breasts.

Clarke pulls away and stands up, pushing the rest of the dress off of her, watching as it pulls to the ground. Bellamy's eyes travel up the expanse of her body, his eyes growing darker with lust.

"You're wearing entirely too much clothes babe." Clarke says, before she's sinking to her knees undoing the clasp of his belt. She throws the belt to the side, and runs her hands up her thighs, stopping right above his bulge, rubbing softly.

Bellamy's eyes flutter closed, his head falling back against the couch cushion.

"Fuck, Princess."

"That's the idea, yeah." Clarke smirks, and Bellamy rolls his eyes as he pushes her hand away, making quick work of his pants, leaving him in his briefs.

Bellamy stands to his feet, pulling Clarke up with him. He pulls her body close to his, shuddering slightly at the feel of her skin against his. Bellamy leans down and pulls her lower lip between his teeth, sucking on it before releasing it with a pop. He presses his lips against hers as he moves his hands all along her body, landing on her ass. He squeezes it with both of his hands, resulting in a moan from Clarke.

Suddenly, Bellamy is lifting Clarke up with very little struggle, wrapping her legs around his waist.

"I'm not gonna make love to you for the first time in years on a couch baby. We're going to our room." He says, as he starts walking to his bedroom.

As he walks Clarke sucks a matching mark into Bellamy's neck, loving the way he growls and grips her ass tighter.

Bellamy places Clarke on the bed before he starts kissing down her chest again. His teeth grab onto the strap of her bra, pulling it down, before he does the same to the other side. He then reaches behind her and unclips her bra, watching as it falls in front of her, revealing her flushed chest to him.

Bellamy's eyes gaze into hers, "Are you still sure?"

Clarke grabs his hands and places them on her breasts. "I've never been more sure of anything."

Bellamy smiles as he starts to rub her breasts squeezing them between his hands. He pushes her so that she's lying on her back, and he starts to trail his lips across her chest, stopping at her pert nipple. He encloses it in his mouth, moaning at the feel of it inside his mouth.

Clarke winds her fingers into his hair as she lets out breathy moans. He moves over to the other side, giving it the same attention as the other.

Clarke pulls a little on his hair, and Bellamy groans and pushes his groin into the mattress.

Clarke's eyes light up, "You liked that?" She asked breathlessly.

Bellamy nods, biting his lip.

Clarke smiles, "That's new."

"Yeah well, I can't wait to find out new things about you baby." Bellamy says, as he hooks his fingers into her panties, pulling them off of her.

"Fuck, you're so wet. Is this all for me?" Bellamy asks at the sight of her.

"Only you. It will only ever be you." Clarke reassures.

"Good." He says as he traces his fingers up her slit.

"Oh- oh yes." Clarke moans.

He pushes one finger inside of her, loving the feeling of her around him. He pushes it in and out of her for a moment, before adding a second finger, and rubbing tight circles on her clit.

Clarke is moaning uncontrollably above him, and Bellamy has to kiss her so he can feel closer to her. Kissing Clarke is all he wants to do for the rest of his life.

Clarke pushes at his arm, and Bellamy gets nervous, thinking that maybe he crossed a line.

"No, Bell it's okay. I just want you inside of me. I need you." Clarke smiles.

Bellamy surges forward and kisses her again, before he's slipping his boxers off of him.

Clarke's eyes widen at the sight of him, and Bellamy smirks.

"Like what you see?"

Clarke rolls her eyes, "Don't be so smug, last time I checked you almost passed out the first time you ever saw my boobs."

Bellamy laughs, "You're right. I still feel like that whenever I look at you Princess."

"You're so corny." Clarke says, but the blush forming on her cheeks prove otherwise.

"Condom?" Clarke asks, and Bellamy nods as he's reaching into his nightstand, rolling the condom onto his dick.

He positions himself at her entrance, before gazing into her eyes.

"I love you so much, Clarke."

Clarke smiles as she cups his cheek.

"I love you so much too, Bellamy Blake. For eons."

Bellamy smiles before he's pushing into her slowly. Both of them let out moans of relief at the feeling of him; warm and perfect, inside of her.

"Oh my god." They both say, before Bellamy starts to move. He pushes deep inside of her, and pulls out almost all the way before he's pushing back in.

Clarke wraps her legs around him, meeting his thrusts with equal fervor.

Clarke pulls on his hair, and he lets out a guttural moan, as he starts to thrust faster.

All of the fears that Clarke had before seem futile now, because there is no possible way that this man could do anything to hurt her. Being with him finally feels like her heart has been mended, every inch of her soul intertwined with his in a beautiful masterpiece.

Two broken souls coming together to create something beautiful.

"I want to feel you Clarke, let go for me. Just let go." Bellamy says as his thrusts became more erratic.

Clarke lets out a loud moan as she comes, grinding against him as she reaches her peak. She crashes her lips to his and that's when Bellamy can't hold on any longer. He falls apart and rides out both of their orgasms, before he's pulling out, and tying up the condom.

After he threw it out, he took a warm towel and wiped Clarke up, then cleaned himself. He crawled into bed next to her, and she nuzzles into him, reveling in their post coital bliss.

**

As Bellamy runs his fingers through Clarke's hair, he realizes something he should have before.

"Baby?" He says softly.

"Hmmm?" Clarke says as she looks up at him through her lashes.

He smiles at her, "Move in with me. Permanently?"

Clarke's face lights up, and she kisses his face all over before she pulls back and kisses his lips once, twice, three times before she cuddles back into him.

"There's no place I'd rather be."

۵༄❆


	39. Chapter Thirty-Nine

۵༄❆

_**Sunlight crept through the window**_ , causing Bellamy's eyes to flutter open. He looked next to him and saw Clarke sprawled out on the bed, her hair creating a halo above her. She truly looked like an angel, and Bellamy had a sudden urge to kiss her. So that's exactly what he did.

**

He pressed his lips to hers, soft yet wanting, before he began to drag his lips across her jaw, hovering over the mark that he formed the night before. He smiles before kissing the mark, stopping when he feels Clarke shift above him. He looks up at her, and sees her eyes are still closed. However, by the way she's breathing he can tell she's awake. Two can play at that game.

Bellamy kisses his way to her collar bone, darting his tongue out to taste her skin, feeling her shiver above him, her anticipation growing. He licks his way to her breasts, and sucks a nipple into his mouth, hearing Clarke's breath hitch. He groans against her chest and picks up his hand and cups her other breast with it, caressing it roughly as the pad of his thumb circles the nipple between two fingers.

Clarke lets out a moan above him, and that's when he knows he's got her right where he wants her. He bites down gently on her nipple before soothing the sting with his tongue.

"You awake princess?" Bellamy asks as he licks his way to her other breast, preparing himself to give it the same attention as before. "You wanna open those pretty blue eyes for me?"

Clarke moans, and squeezes her eyes tighter as Bellamy continues to suck on her nipple.

"No? You're so stubborn this morning, aren't you?"

He pulls back and just admires her beautiful body for a moment, before he bites his lip and forms an idea in his head.

He drops his head back down, and begins to press bruising kisses on her chest, slowly trailing his lips down the expanse of her stomach. He can feel Clarke's breathing change under his lips, and her arms twitch by her sides, wanting to reach out for him. He laughs a little bit, knowing that she's gonna try her hardest to win this little game they both insist on playing.

He continues to kiss, lick, and suck his way down her body before he reaches her hips. He sucks her skin into his mouth, and moans as he grinds himself against the mattress while he sucks a hickey on her hip. Clarke's breathing is erratic now, and he knows that any moment now she will cave and give in to her desires.

When he's fully satisfied with the mark that he forms, he starts teasing her even more, by slowly pulling her legs apart, revealing her wet heat to him. He licks his lips as he sees her glistening before him, her arousal seeking out of her, coating her thighs.

He surges forward and licks her leg, sucking on her thigh, licking up all the juices that formed there. Clarke lets out a breathy moan, and he knows he's so close to winning this. He just needs to push her a little more.

He licks up her thigh and stops right when his face is level with her clit; and he breathes out cold air from his lips, causing her hips to jerk up, and a loud moan to escape her lips.

"Fuck Bellamy, please—," she moans, and he knows he won.

"Please what baby? Tell me what you want?" He can't help but tease her even more, because her reactions to it are so sexy.

"I- I want your mouth on me, please give it to me." Clarke begs; and if that isn't the sexiest thing he has ever heard, he doesn't know what is.

"Alright, I got you princess." He says, before he's licking a strip up her wet core.

"Oh yes." Clarke moans, as she tangels her hands in his hair.

He presses his tongue deep inside of her, thrusting it in and out of her until she's writhing above him, begging for more. He licks back up her center before he twirls her clit around his tongue, giving her little kitten licks with barely any pressure.

"Uh- oh oh my god Bell, please—," Clarke moans, before she's pushing his face so close to where she wants it.

"Cmon baby, take what you need." Bellamy says before he's flatting his tongue on her clit, putting the perfect amount of pressure there.

Clarke moans loud; and starts to grind herself shamelessly against his face, breathy moans escaping her as she climbs higher and higher to her peak, before finally falling over the edge.

"Yes!" Clarke screams, as she revels in her bliss.

Bellamy continues to lick up her come and pulls away, his chin glistening from her.

Clarke blushes, seemingly embarrassed.

"I'm sorry."

Bellamy nearly growls as he crashes his lips to hers, tangling their tongues together in an intense and passionate kiss.

"Don't ever apologize for that again, that was the hottest fucking experience of my life."

Clarke smiles before pushing him on his back, settling herself between his legs.

"I think I can top that, Bell." Clarke says as a smirk forms on her lips.

Bellamy breathes in deep, "Yeah? You wanna show me, baby?"

Clarke nods and grasps his shaft in her hand, working it from base to tip slowly.

Bellamy groans and grips onto the sheets with one hand, while the other grabs onto her thigh.

"Fuck, that feels good." He says, as he bites his lower lip.

Clarke leans forward and pulls his lip from her teeth, sucking it into her own mouth, while she strokes him, moving her wrist in circular motions.

"It's been so long since I've last had my mouth on you babe," Clarke says as she releases his lips with a pop.

"I want to taste you. Can I?" She asks, as she moves her free hand up and down his abs.

Bellamy pushes his hips up at her words and moans.

"Pl-please yes"

Clarke smiles and sinks lower down the bed. She looks up at him through her long lashes one last time, before she's licking along the side of his dick.

"Yes." Bellamy hisses, as Clarke continues to tease his length with her tongue.

Clarke hums against his dick before she's licking the tip of him teasingly. She smirks when Bellamy lets out a loud moan. Thank god no one is here because the sounds coming from this room are far from PG.

Teasing him one last time, Clarke finally gives him some relief, as she sinks her head down, taking him in her mouth. She starts slowly, just taking the head, then sinking lower and lower until she has his entire length in her mouth.

"Oh god! Clarke you're so good, you're so good." Bellamy says, as he fists her hair. Clarke moans around him and Bellamy smirks.

"I guess you like the hair pulling too, baby." He breaths out, before he is rendered speechless as Clarke bobs her head up and down his shaft, while she works the parts she can't fit into her mouth with her hand.

"Clarke— Clarke this feels so good. You're perfect, god yes." Bellamy says as he feels himself growing closer to release.

Clarke releases him, and he whimpers.

"I want you to come in my mouth Bell. Give it to me, I want it."

Bellamy lets out a guttural moan as Clarke takes him back into her mouth, sucking him off fast and jerking him hard.

"Baby— I'm gonna come." He warns her, and she moans around his dick, and that's all he can take before he's pushing into her mouth, gripping her hair and moaning as he reaches his orgasm.

Clarke continues to pump him until she is sure he's finished, and then releases him, swallowing his load.

Bellamy looks at her in awe, as she smiles, and he pulls her into his side, completely sated and breathless.

**

"That was amazing Clarke." He says, as he rubs his fingers up and down her arm.

"Would you say it was the best experience of your life?" She jokes.

He smiles, and kisses the tip of her nose.

"Any moment with you is the best experience of my life."

Clarke smiles, and presses a chaste kiss to his lips.

"I love you."

"I love you too." He says looking at her.

"I think I'm gonna apply for art school." Clarke says after a few moments of comforting silence.

Bellamy sits up at her words, a huge smile on his face.

"Yeah?" He asks.

Clarke nods, and Bellamy is surging forward to wrap her in his arms, laughing happily.

"Why are you so happy?" Clarke asks giggling.

He pulls back and cups her face. "Maybe because my girlfriend; the best artist I've ever met, is finally following her dreams. I'm so proud of you baby. This is all I've ever wanted for you."

"Really?" She asks.

Bellamy nods. "You were 13 the first time I ever saw one of your drawings. I was a 15 year old kid who really loved hiking and mountains and all that, so when I saw your drawing of a huge mountain... I was in awe. I remember you getting so mad at me for looking through your sketchbook. You had this cute little crease right between your brow that I just wanted to kiss. That was the first time I realized I felt more for you than I knew how to handle. Hence my ass hole attitude."

Clarke leans in and kisses his lips, gentle yet passionate. After she pulls away she looks at him, and puts her hands in his curls.

"The reason I was so mad at you for looking through that book was because I was drawing that picture for you." She says.

He looks at her, shocked. "You were?"

She nods, "Yeah. Your birthday was coming up, and I knew how much you loved nature, so I wanted to get you something. But as a 13 year old I clearly had no money, so I drew something. I wanted to give it to you, but you had to go and ruin it." She laughs.

Bellamy laughs with her, and moves the hair out of her face.

"You're the most amazing woman I've ever met. I'm so lucky to be with you. You're everything to me."

"And you're everything to me too, Bellamy."

"When are you gonna apply to art school? What schools?" He asks, this time though, Clarke detects some nervousness in her voice.

"I want to apply as soon as possible to the art schools in Arkadia. I'm not leaving. This is my home. You are my home."

Bellamy lets out a relieved breath, "Just so you know, I'd follow you anywhere."

"I know, just like I'd do the same for you." She says, before leaning up to kiss him again.

"We have about 2 hours before Tavia comes home... I think I have some idea of how I wanna spend it."

Clarke says, suggestively.

"Oh yeah? Show me what you got Griffin." He teases, before Clarke shows him everything she wants to do.

۵༄❆


	40. Chapter Forty

۵༄❆

_**6 months later...** _

Clarke walked into Polis diner, eager to see her best friend after he took an impromptu trip to Seattle. She walked inside and immediately ran into Wells' arms knocking him back with the force of her hug.

"Hey Lil griff griff, I missed you!" He exclaims hugging her back just as tight.

"I missed you to Wells! Now, tell me all about your trip!" She says as they take their seats at the table.

Wells smiles, "Okay, so when I got there I thought to myself... 'why did I wanna come here again?'," he laughs, "but then once I started exploring and just living without fear of anything... I just felt at peace for the first time in so long."

Clarke grins, "That's amazing Wells."

"That's not all though." He says smirking.

"Oh yeah? What else happened?" She asks.

"Sasha was there." He says.

"What?? Oh my gosh what happened?"

"Well, we literally ran into each other. Like literally. My rental car hit hers and she got out of the car yelling and then we stopped and just gaped at each other. I never thought I'd see her again and... there she was. She was perfect. We got coffee at the shop right near my hotel and she told me she wasn't married or anything, and I told her that I was single too, so we decided to try dating." He says happily.

"Wells!!! That's amazing! God I'm so happy for you!" Clarke exclaims.

"I'm happy too. It was a little rocky once I explained everything that happened, she felt so guilty." He says.

Clarke snorts, "Trust me, I know that feeling all too well. Bellamy still feels guilty about things that aren't remotely his fault."

"How is my favorite nerd doing?" Wells asks, taking a sip of his drink.

Clarke smiles, "He's amazing. His graduation is tonight, actually. It's crazy how he is finishing school when I'm just starting."

"Starting? What school?"

Clarke blushes, "Arkadia Art Institute."

"You got in??!!" Wells exclaims.

"Yes!! But I haven't told Bellamy yet. I have kinda a plan on how I want to do it." Clarke replies.

"Happiness is a good look for you, Clarke." Wells says after a moment.

Clarke smiles, "You too. It's well deserved."

Wells nods, "Definitely."

* * *

Clarke gets back to the house in the middle of the afternoon, and immediately runs to Raven's old room. When Raven and Octavia found out Clarke was applying to art school, they transformed it into an art studio for Clarke. Their friendship is still rocky at times, but they're trying, and Clarke loves them for it.

She sets up her easel, and changes into paint clothes, and just gets to work.

She paints with a passion she hasn't felt in so long, paints the skies, the water, the mountains.

She paints for her dad, showing him that she will never forget what he taught her.

She paints for Marcus, for he never gave up on her, and that even though he isn't married to her mom anymore, he will always be like a father to her.

For her mother; though they will never be close, she paints for her recovery. For healing.

She paints for Bellamy. The love of her life. The person that showed her that no matter how broken you feel, there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel.

But most importantly, she paints for herself; because she's finally free, and happy.

"Wow." She hears behind her.

She turns around and blushes. "You ruined the surprise again, Bell!"

Bellamy just laughs and walks forward, cupping her face and kissing her. "I still don't feel guilty about that, because it was what got me to pull my head out of my ass."

He turns around and looks at the painting, and just admires it.

"It's beautiful, Clarke." He breathes out.

"Well I need to get my portfolio set up if I'm gonna be a student at Arkadia Art Institute." She says nonchalantly.

Bellamy nods, "Yeah that's true— wait. What?" He asks, turning around.

"I got in!"

"You- You got in!!" He exclaims, surging forward and wrapping her in his arms. "I'm so proud of you baby!"

She laughs as she nuzzles her face in his neck.

"Me? You're the one graduating today! Oh, speaking of, we should probably get ready."

Clarke pulls away and smiles at him, before turning around.

"Marry me."

Clarke stops in her tracks. She turns around and looks at him, seeing nothing but love in his eyes.

"What?"

Bellamy smiles nervously, "I was going to wait until after my graduation... I have a ring I swear. I kinda wanted to recreate the whole me giving you a promise ring scenario but... I don't wanna wait anymore." He says, stepping closer to her.

"Clarke, I love you. I've loved you for so long, and I will never stop loving you. You are the love of my life, and being without you... it's something I never want to experience again. You're it for me, you always have been. I'll love you for eons, Clarke Griffin. Will you marry me?"

Tears pool in Clarke's eyes as she looks at the man she loves. "Yes, yes!" She says, crashing her lips to his.

The kiss is all teeth, and giggles and uncontrollable smiles, but it's the best kiss they've ever shared.

"I love you. I love you so much Bellamy."

He kisses her again. "I told you i'd make you Mrs. Blake."

Clarke laughs; and pulls him into her again, reveling in the feeling of kissing her fiancée.

Clarke Griffin finally has happiness.

۵༄❆


	41. Epilogue

۵༄❆

_**6 years later...** _

"Come on guys! We're gonna be late for Octavia and Lincoln'sengagement party!" Clarke yells from the living room.

"Tell me why all of us had to sleep here again?" Raven asks, as she slips on her shoes.

Clarke rolls her eyes. "Because Mrs. Murphy, Octavia knows how none of you can keep time, so she put me in charge. Plain and simple."

Raven groans, "It's Mrs. Reyes- Murphy thank you very much."

Murphy wraps his arms around his wife. "C'mon you know you like being a Murphy."

Raven blushes. "Oh shut up." Before pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

Clarke laughs; and walks into the kitchen where she sees Monty, Jasper, and Monty's wife Harper packing something in a cooler.

"Oh god, what is that?" Clarke asks.

Jasper smirks, "New recipe."

Monty nods, "This one is for celebrating only though. It's too hardcore."

Harper rolls her eyes, "You say that about every recipe babe."

Monty scoffs, "That's because every recipe is hardcore!"

Clarke rolls her eyes lovingly at her friends, and sees Miller and Jackson, with their 3 year old son Ethan.

"Hi Ethan!" Clarke coos.

He hides behind miller's leg, and they all laugh.

"He's feeling a little shy today." Miller says.

"Aww that's probably because he wants to see his cousin. Speaking of, where is my husband?" Clarke asks.

Miller rolls his eyes, "Do you even have to ask that question?"

"Yeah Clarke," Wells says, from his spot on the couch with Sasha. "You know exactly where that man is."

Clarke blushes and makes her way to her art studio, already hearing her husband's voice from behind the door.

"You see, Madi? This is what Mommy was painting when I asked her to marry me." Bellamy says to their two year old daughter Madi.

"Momma paint?" She asks.

Bellamy smiles and scoops his daughter in his arms.

"Yeah my little princess, momma paint."

Clarke can't help but giggle, causing Bellamy to turn around, a huge smile on his face.

"Hi baby." He says.

"You're gonna make us late, Bell." Clarke says, walking up to her husband and their daughter, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.

"I had to show our daughter how talented her mommy is." He says kissing Madi's head.

"And," he says, placing his hand on the swell of her stomach that's holding their son. "I'm gonna show him one day too."

Clarke smiles. "I want to name him Augustus."

Bellamy's eyes light up, "Really?" He asks excitedly.

"Really."

Bellamy smiles and kisses his wife.

"Mommy! Daddy! Kiss!!" Madi says, and Clarke and Bellamy kiss their daughters cheeks.

"You ready, Mr. Blake?"

"Always, Mrs. Blake." He says grabbing her hand.

This is their life. It was a little messy, but in the end they found their way back to each other. In spite of everything, they chose each other and held on.

They have the perfect little family.

As long as they're together, they have everything they'll ever need.

۵༄❆

— END —

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to thank each of you who gave support and love for this series. It was the first stories I’ve ever read, and I’m so thankful for the kindness that was shown to me! 
> 
> More work coming soon!


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